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The OP already said his wife using IBR and tiny payments has allowed the interest to accumulate so they can't get out from under her loans. They need to cut back on discretionary spending (cable, date night, car paymts), have the wife kick in with a second income, and get their debts paid off.
They need to cut back on discretionary spending (cable, date night, car paymts), have the wife kick in with a second income, and get their debts paid off.
The good news is that the debt isn't so high as to be unpayable. The tough part is going to be getting the wife to accept the financial reality that being purely a stay-at-home mother isn't feasible right now.
The OP already said his wife using IBR and tiny payments has allowed the interest to accumulate so they can't get out from under her loans. They need to cut back on discretionary spending (cable, date night, car paymts), have the wife kick in with a second income, and get their debts paid off.
Yeah that's pretty much it..I could file separately and she'll pay 0, but the interest can probably go up by 1000 each yet....then suppose the loan expires after 25 years...I would think the rest of that is taxable income. She won't be able to cover it for sure....
Yeah that's pretty much it..I could file separately and she'll pay 0, but the interest can probably go up by 1000 each yet....then suppose the loan expires after 25 years...I would think the rest of that is taxable income. She won't be able to cover it for sure....
You cannot ignore that for 25 years. The interest will continue to build up and ruin your credit.
Why are you insitant on paying HER debt? She doesn't seem to care about your health or well-being, and you keep talking about paying off debt that's NOT YOURS.
Why don't you confirm whether you're even responsible for it or make sure you know how to keep doing whatever you can to make sure it does NOT become yours.
Why are you insistent on paying HER debt? She doesn't seem to care about your health or well-being, and you keep talking about paying off debt that's NOT YOURS.
Why don't you confirm whether you're even responsible for it or make sure you know how to keep doing whatever you can to make sure it does NOT become yours.
Have you EVER filed joint taxes?
It doesn't matter. He's not going to grow a backbone. If he does, the wife is going to make life h*ll for him because of the baby will likely be used as a pawn. It's a lose/lose situation. He needs a higher power to help him fix this mess.
Yeah that's pretty much it..I could file separately and she'll pay 0, but the interest can probably go up by 1000 each yet....then suppose the loan expires after 25 years...I would think the rest of that is taxable income. She won't be able to cover it for sure....
So, let’s say this goes up 25k higher. Added to 47k, that’s 72k. The taxes on 72k for her should not be terribly high. My point is that you’re assuming she will never work and you will never make more money.
It’s a small debt for someone with an MBA to be stressing over.
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It's soul draining and self esteem damaging to allow another person to manipulate you.
Making poor decisions that land you in the situation that you have been facing since 2013, will also take a toll on self-esteem.
It seems to me that your wife is doing everything she can to keep you in that low place. Do you realize this?
I do not know why so many men are totally co-opted by the women in their lives?
The best way to get your self-esteem back on track is to have control of your life's direction. Having a partner who is driven for success and who contributes to helping each other, (vs. a soul and self-esteem sucking parasite), would do wonders for you. However from all that I've read, your wife is not interested in the least in doing anything but dictating and taking and taking.
It's no surprise your self-esteem is suffering. Anyone in this situation would be suffering the same.
I'm at a point in my life where I don't really have much emotional support from many people...not comfortable telling my family about these issues but in the past they were great emotional support. Friend list is dying down, I never had a lot to begin with but the ones I had were quality and not quantity.
It's harder to maintain friendships after the birth of your first child. You need the support of your friends, though.
Will your wife plan to return to work anytime soon? Can you talk with her about it? If not, you might want to see a counselor together. The birth of a first child requires a huge adjustment in marriage, and if you have debt on top of all the other adjustments you're going through, you could strain your relationship beyond repair. She's obviously embarrassed about her debt, and not talking about it is going to make things worse, including your resentment (well justified, IMO).
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