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I can see that most people on this thread have had no experience with actual bullying. It isn't one on one it is almost always several against one. Bullies are at their core cowardly, insecure individuals, that is why they bully in the first place. Very few of them will go one on one against someone they are targeting. They like help and an audience if possible. Not only that the smart ones will know how to work their peers. Thus if your kid fights back it is likely your kid will be the one who is suspended, and the bully will get off because all the other kids will implicate the target of the bullying regardless of what actually happened.
Great post. And yeah, this topic has sure brought out the braggarts!
WTH is that supposed to mean? You've never heard of a mob of bullies? MOST bullies act in a group and if you don't know that, then you really don't have any experience with bullies at all, do you? I was bullied for two years by a pack of juvy delinquent girls, one of whom almost got murdered by a rival gang a couple of years later who broke her skull in a Circle K parking lot. I know what I'm talking about. No way in hell would I advise a child of mine to try to fight criminal thugs alone. A common, garden-variety schoolyard bully? You bet - kick his hiney if you can. But that's not what we're dealing with in society today and if you want to keep your head in the sand and watch reruns of the 1950's in your mind, you go right ahead. The rest of us will deal with reality. And no, I'm not a pacifist - the furthest thing from it. I just know not to send my child off into certain danger so I can pretend I'm a bad ass.
Great post. And yeah, this topic has sure brought out the braggarts!
Yes and it is terrible advice, especially when those kids get to high school. Because of internships I have had I spent a bunch of time in misdemeanor court and if I had a dollar for every high schooler I saw involved in an assault I could by a new suit.
The pacifism runs so deep that the threat of school suspension is enough to counter the basic human instinct to defend one's self. Astonishing.
I am totally opposed to the trend of teaching boys to just walk away from aggression. Of course they should fight back - if it is safe to do so. It often is not when you're talking about a society full of little gangsters.
I am totally opposed to the trend of teaching boys to just walk away from aggression. Of course they should fight back - if it is safe to do so. It often is not when you're talking about a society full of little gangsters.
Yup, only get in a fight when it's safe to do so...
Braggarts? Nah. They're fools - childish and naive fools.
Childish and naive is ignoring the harsh realities of life. People are going to **** with you. Always. Stand up for yourself or just crawl into a hole and die.
This sums it up perfectly:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colddiamond102
The ONLY way to deal with a stinkin bully is to stand up to them. If kids dont learn how to deal with child bullies, then HOW are they going to learn how to stand up for themselves with adult ones?
But they did still lay hands on you in high school none the less.
That bully will remember, he will remember he can attack that kid and get that kid in trouble. Furthermore since bullies are cowardly and insecure people they will not be able to stand for something like a kid fighting back. The will likely recruit more people to ultimately break them. After all how many violent, insecure people do you know who are ever willing to let something like that kind of insult stand. This is especially true if it means other kids might try and stand up to them.
The only way to stop a bully is to make it humiliating for them to be seen going after you. This is why bullies never went after me in high school this was because I had a group of friends and I was smart, thus when bullies came after us they almost always left looking like D-bags because they could not isolate one person and turn the group against them. Violence almost never accomplishes that because it just makes them angry, and makes you look isolated and extreme.
The one time in high school someone laid hands on me the person was new. And my classmates that knew me warned him to leave me alone...repeatedly.
I broke his freakin nose, after he shoved me into a locker, and he was harassed for the rest of the year for being beaten up by a girl. I didnt start things, I finished them. I had a reputation Id earned early on. It preceded me in alot of cases and stopped would-be bullies,and to be honest it helped me help others who would have gotten picked on. More than once I stepped in on something and put a stop to someone being picked on. If I saw a group harassing someone, Id step in and even the odds. They'd leave me be and back off the one I was defending. Why? They remembered that broken nose.They knew Id act, that I meant what I said. Also, my school always suspended BOTH parties involved in a fight. If I fought someone, I took my punishment and never regretted it. It was the price I had to pay, and by the time fists flew Id had enough and it was worth it.
I never involved my friends in a fight (never had much need to). To me (my own code) it was dirty to drag them into something I should handle myself. As an adult that STILL rubs me the wrong way. I never minded going down on my own, but I never wanted to drag a friend with me.
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