Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Again I'm at a loss as to what your life has to do with the topic but But there are many women out there who don't mind being the main breadwinner, and who APPRECIATE the niceties of life that a stay at home husband can offer, ESPECIALLY when there are children or elderly parents in the picture.
Or, both parents could keep their careers and hire the work done.
See, it isn't all Ozzie and Harriet 50's retro.
I realize that. In fact, my own daughter has a military career and her husband stays home with their kids and goes to school in the evening. It works great.
I'm not saying and have never said that there's only one way to have a successful marriage and raise kids well. I'm just saying that the "old fashioned, traditional" way is still a viable option and that there is no shame or sell out for a feminist and her partner to choose this option.
Love comes after I get to know a person and their values and personality - not before.
Also, I built a successful career over the course of 25 years in the workforce. I don't have to live off anyone. But there are many men out there who don't mind being the main breadwinner, and who APPRECIATE the niceties of life that a stay at home wife can offer, ESPECIALLY when there are children or elderly parents in the picture.
I believe that every woman needs to be able to provide for herself (and whatever children she might have), and that includes her retirement years. If you have done well enough in your 25 year work career to already have provided for a comfortable retirement, then leaving the work force was an option for you.
Too many women leave the work force to take care of hubby and children, only to find that when children are grown, hubby is gone and they are left to fend for themselves without an adequate retirement income. I have friends who are in this situation now - they gave up their careers for 10-15 years, years in which pensions or 403/401 accounts were accruing interest, and now, at 65, do not have enough cash to maintain their standard of living.
No woman should count on anyone but herself for her continued well being...
I believe that every woman needs to be able to provide for herself (and whatever children she might have), and that includes her retirement years. If you have done well enough in your 25 year work career to already have provided for a comfortable retirement, then leaving the work force was an option for you.
Too many women leave the work force to take care of hubby and children, only to find that when children are grown, hubby is gone and they are left to fend for themselves without an adequate retirement income. I have friends who are in this situation now - they gave up their careers for 10-15 years, years in which pensions or 403/401 accounts were accruing interest, and now, at 65, do not have enough cash to maintain their standard of living.
No woman should count on anyone but herself for her continued well being...
I'm covered.
That being said, there are more ways for a woman who chooses to stay home rather than work, to protect herself legally. If the husband and wife are in agreement for her to stay home, then with careful planning she can still be protected, including in her retirement years.
It is not mandatory or even necessarily preferable for both spouses to work full time. But both partners have to be in agreement, and there has to be a plan and protection for both.
That being said, there are more ways for a woman who chooses to stay home rather than work, to protect herself legally. If the husband and wife are in agreement for her to stay home, then with careful planning she can still be protected, including in her retirement years.
It is not mandatory or even necessarily preferable for both spouses to work full time. But both partners have to be in agreement, and there has to be a plan and protection for both.
This is not the case in most marriages. Most women (and men) are not savvy enough in money matters to understand the need for a plan, much less to know how to make/manage a plan.
Anyone who thinks being superior to anyone clearly should really check their head. There are many things men can do better than women, as there are many things women can do better than men. Gee, some women are so bitter these days.
The wife and husband both had to agree to this decision. She can't just quit and raise the baby without discussing it with hubby, unless she wants to risk divorce and be forced to return to work anyway. The choice is *theirs*, not her's alone.
Today women don't need a husband to consult with. There are many mature single women who made the independent decision, without consulting anyone or seeking anyone's permission to have a child. I'm sure they thought it through and what would be required for she alone to raise that child. Many women have done it - ALONE.
LOL great minds think alike. When I was dating, any future mate had to have the following characteristics to even be considered:
1. Share my same faith and the value I place on it
2. Innate intelligence
3. Established career
4. Excellent credit score
5. Desire for children
6. Open to wife staying home, with kids and even beyond
7. Love of travel
8. Similar values, including a lack of prejudice - one trait I absolutely abhor
9. Good personal hygiene, and that includes staying as healthy as possible
Oh, and he needed to laugh alot - with his mouth open. I love a sense of humor and a lack of self consciousness in a person. He had to be confident.
I got everything on my list and then some.
DON'T SETTLE!
Of course, if you're going to set a high standard for others, you'd better be sure your own personal standards are at least as high.
So, if you met a man that didn't meet your high standards and your criteria, would you consider him on some level to be inferior to you? The majority of women and men have "standards" and "criteria" of their own when it comes to a life long partner. What makes you special?
When I married my husband he was a waiter. By working together and supporting each other in many ways he is today a very, very successful executive, and there were odds against him but he fought them. If I didn't look beyond what he did for an honest living then, I would have lost out on a wonderful man. I was able to stop working because of his success and hard work. I am thankful for everything he does and provides. But let me add, if he didn't climb the ladder he would still be the best thing that ever happened to me in my lifetime.
BYT I'm the one who made the SARCASTIC remark about being superior to men by virtue of the fact that I can have a baby.
Last edited by softblueyz; 07-19-2012 at 05:48 AM..
Today women don't need a husband to consult with. There are many mature single women who made the independent decision, without consulting anyone or seeking anyone's permission to have a child. I'm sure they thought it through and what would be required for she alone to raise that child. Many women have done it - ALONE.
They sure do, if they are married to one. Unless she wants to risk a divorce. In addition to that nearly the half of all single mothers live in poverty (42.2 %). Single Mother Poverty in the United States in 2010.
Seems like Single Motherhood isn't all what it is cranked up to be.
If all American women were this way, I would've hopping the pond to Eastern Europe to find my bride long ago. Thankfully, Miss Right popped up just before that was about to happen.
I always get a kick out of men who rave about finding a bride in Russia because American women are so TERRIBLE. I know two who did just that, and their wives stayed with them just long enough to get their citizenship on their own--then they were gone. Huh....
Maybe the grass isn't always greener, lol. If you have to resort to finding a bride in Russia (or the Phillipines, etc), I'm pretty sure it's because there's something wrong with YOU, and not with American women. The American girls don't want anything to do with you (usually for a pretty good reason), and the foreign ones only give you the time of day to get something. Unfortunately, it usually turns out to be a very expensive mistake for the guy.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
