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Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"
I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.
But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.
So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
I have no problem telling someone what I do for a living. I am a very open person though and I would tell you pretty much anything you asked. I would almost tend to believe that you would only find this sort of question rude if you were embarrassed about what you do. Whats the big deal about asking of someones profession....it would be a different story if they asked how much you made . I think its interesting to find out what other people do for a living. I cant honestly say I have ever straight out asked this question...but making small talk I woul dfind it to be perfectly acceptable.
I think your reaction was definitely over the top and uncalled for. Here in America, where many people value hard work and effort, your identity is largely defined by what you do, like it or not. If I were that client, I would have had more than a few choice words for you in return. The only thing rude was your response to that individual.
I think your reaction was definitely over the top and uncalled for. Here in America, where many people value hard work and effort, your identity is largely defined by what you do, like it or not. If I were that client, I would have had more than a few choice words for you in return. The only thing rude was your response to that individual.
See I don't agree with that notion--that here in America your identity is largely defined by what you do. I love my profession, not embarassed in the slightest. 2 of my best friends opened my eyes to this and I find it to be true. One is an optometrist and runs her own practice, the other is a minority in 3rd position next to the VP of a very large firm. They both are very well to do and HATE being asked what they do for a living. The optometrist when asked she says she works in an office, which she techinquely does, the other says tax payer or some smart aleck response.
I think its best to define someone by character based on character not occupation. And yes the individual was sizing me up on appearance. He did not want to disclose after being asked several times his fee, he prefered to know what I did for a living. I surmise that he thought he was going to get paid very well based on what category he placed me in his mind, and the owner of the company who referred him to me. I did let the owner know and she agreed that it was very unprofessional and called for.
In this market, if a contractor is hired to do work they should do just that and not ask personal questions unless the person feels led to divulge that info.
I think we Americans do alot things that are considered the norm, but truly it shouldn't be. I believe in the premise that you should be able to befriend a Prince and a Pauper, but too many people are seeking that prince to be friends with and overlook the pauper. You can a learn from the 2.
So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
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Actually, I welcome the opportunity to talk about something I am interested in ... which is generally why most people ask the question (to find a common interest). Your smug attitude that 'you taught him a very good lesson in professionalism' ... by terminating his contract over a remark (?) - reveals that you are pretty thin-skinned and have an overly high opinion of yourself.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
I don't think it was rude. I think your anger over the question was rude. At what point in your life did that question make you feel violated? Was it because someone else was making more money or had a better job than you did that made you feel they were looking down on you?
Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"
I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.
But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.
So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
I thought you were more rude. To most people, it is a casual question, a way to make conversation. He was probably shocked at you taking it so to heart. I was never bothered when people asked me that. Sometimes they would ask a few questions as to what was involved in my profession or ask for advice or just say, "oh, really". I never felt like they were sizing up my ability to pay. I could have been Howard Hughes dressed like a housewife........LOL. JMO
eta: somehow, I think we may have been set up by the OP.....?
I don't think it was rude. I think your anger over the question was rude. At what point in your life did that question make you feel violated? Was it because someone else was making more money or had a better job than you did that made you feel they were looking down on you?
Something has sparked your intense reaction.
Nope, not in the slightest. I feel more than comfortable in my skin despite what tax bracket the next person may be in. That doesn't even play a factor in my decision of whether or not I want to continue or discontinue a conversation with the individual.
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