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If it makes you uncomfortable to discuss what you do, then just simply say that you would rather not discuss it. But I don't think it reflects negatively on our society that the majority of Americans are comfortable discussing what we do for a living. Many of us enjoy our jobs, take pride in our work and are happy to discuss it with others. How the French society feels about it, is irrelevant.
If it makes you uncomfortable to discuss what you do, then just simply say that you would rather not discuss it. But I don't think it reflects negatively on our society that the majority of Americans are comfortable discussing what we do for a living. Many of us enjoy our jobs, take pride in our work and are happy to discuss it with others. How the French society feels about it, is irrelevant.
+1
I do not think it is rude. Not when we were making 6 figures and not now that we're making ummm... significantly less. It is rude under the expanded context the OP provided, but she gave tit for tat and taught that guy a lesson in rudeness, imo, not professionalism.
I really don't care what the French think of my small talk skills - and if someone doesn't like my attempts at conversation, I'm okay with them walking away. In my POV, I'm delightful, so it's their loss.
Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"
I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.
But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.
So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
This is a little unusual coming from a workman. What was he, a contractor or landscaper, or something? I suppose this is how some people make small talk. At parties people ask this as a way of identifying someone, and placing them on one's socio-economic map. But presumably, at parties everyone is more or less of a similar economic status. I suppose it's about hidden class concerns in a supposedly classless society...? It can also be a good conversation starter, though.
imo, your hired hand was a bit clumsy about the whole thing (especially secret gov't official crack), but he was probably just trying to make conversation. I've been noticing that repairmen and the like are getting a lot more casual and less professional than they used to. I thought it was just my state and possibly cultural differences, but maybe not.
Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"
I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.
But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.
So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
Maybe she manages her parents' estate, and doesn't want to talk about such a highly personal thing. Maybe she lives off an inheritance. Maybe she has a health disability, collects SSI, and it's her husband or a relative that's paying for the contract work. These kinds of things are highly personal and are no one's business. The best response is simply to say you don't care to talk about it, or it's personal work for the family, or some general response like that. Anyone who pushes and presses for more info after that, or makes a crack, deserves whatever snappy comeback they get.
In the context you described, the question was definitely out of line. However, it is a perfectly acceptable conversation "extender" in a social setting. Happened last night. I asked someone that I met for the first time what he did for a living and then spent the next 5 minutes idiotically extolling the virtues of working in healthcare IT (his profession) :$ It's not a good first line, but perfectly acceptable to ask once you've exchanged a few pleasantries and are fast running out of topics to discuss I think you did the right thing by terminating this guy's contract, but I think you're wrong in generalizing the question as always unacceptable (and, come on, quoting the French on politeness is like quoting Hitler on compassion!). All right folks, Godwin's Law proven here for the umpteenth time...let's move on :$
The reason I never liked the question is because by societies straight standards- I don't do anything for a living..did what I liked all my life--sometimes I would paint for six months--and maybe sell a few pieces and sometimes not- other times I would putter about on a film set- it was seasonal- worked hard for 6 too 8 months and then nothing- or I spent time writing and recording songs- some times a publishing deal some times not- following dreams...and lastly I might go out and play and sing in clubs--- some money- sometimes not...other times I let other support me....so when asked this question- I really don't know what I do for a living- I am living-
To explain to people what I do is embarrassing - For those who followed the straight and narrow route in life- I would be considered a bum- My wife's grandmother would ask my wife what I was up too- She would say -if he is having a bath drown the bastard- He's nothing but a playboy....that's an old term for a idle man...I guess I was always just a boy who never grew up..If it was not fun or interesting - I just would not do it..
People would resent me for being free- sometimes at the expense of others. In the end- they have security- I don;t- all I had was a good time.
So what have you done in your life that you enjoy? That would be the better question.
The reason I never liked the question is because by societies straight standards- I don't do anything for a living..did what I liked all my life--sometimes I would paint for six months--and maybe sell a few pieces and sometimes not- other times I would putter about on a film set- it was seasonal- worked hard for 6 too 8 months and then nothing- or I spent time writing and recording songs- some times a publishing deal some times not- following dreams...and lastly I might go out and play and sing in clubs--- some money- sometimes not...other times I let other support me....so when asked this question- I really don't know what I do for a living- I am living-
To explain to people what I do is embarrassing - For those who followed the straight and narrow route in life- I would be considered a bum- My wife's grandmother would ask my wife what I was up too- She would say -if he is having a bath drown the bastard- He's nothing but a playboy....that's an old term for a idle man...I guess I was always just a boy who never grew up..If it was not fun or interesting - I just would not do it..
People would resent me for being free- sometimes at the expense of others. In the end- they have security- I don;t- all I had was a good time.
So what have you done in your life that you enjoy? That would be the better question.
I think that's a fair question. I wouldn't pass judgement pass you..I admire anyone that does things that make them happy..Wherever your passion is, there your success lies
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I think you did the right thing by terminating this guy's contract, but I think you're wrong in generalizing the question as always unacceptable (and, come on, quoting the French on politeness is like quoting Hitler on compassion!). All right folks, Godwin's Law proven here for the umpteenth time...let's move on :$
