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"Why don't you have kids?" can be a perfectly innocent question, but considering all the possible reasons I find it probably the most insensitive question.
I've been asked that by people I barely know, and it always makes me flinch.
My job has a terrible stereotype. Not only are we morons who can't read, we are completely insane
When I was a student nurse doing my psychiatry clinical, we were taught to never ask a question that started with "why" b/c it put the person on the defensive.
"Do you have kids?" is fine. "Why do/don't you have kids" is not.
When I was a student nurse doing my psychiatry clinical, we were taught to never ask a question that started with "why" b/c it put the person on the defensive.
"Do you have kids?" is fine. "Why do/don't you have kids" is not.
but that is just dealing with public and two different questions really. Often people make much to do about nothing like original question. OP would probably be type that answered your second ;why do you need to know or what has that got to do with anything. Or simply none of your business. We are talking about common questions asked by people in conversations; not as person providing a service. Like a doctor you need to be prepared to say why you need to know many times; altho most will ask not because they think your rude but wander why.
Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"
I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.
But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.
So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
I thought it apropos to remind people about the preliminary aspect of meeting people for the first time part of the O/P.
In meeting other dads for the first time....it usually comes up in the course of knowing who they are what they do for a living. I am not ready to hear a full discourse but it is just polite to ask (at least where I have lived). If they dont ask I almost consider it rude.
I wonder why cops don't demand to know what you do for living when they stop you.
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