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^^^ I don't really see a problem here. In casual settings I answer questions only when I WANT to answer them and no one is going to MAKE me to tell things I don't want/or don't feel like to tell. Perseverance work both ways.
Unfortunately in the USA people often identify a person by what they do rather than who they are. It is a real problem considering college graduates and the job market. Too many attach their personal self-worth and value to a job title or career category.
Nope, I don't see a problem with it, at all..
We have moved alot for my husband's job & when "you" are new to an area due to a job relo, people always ask what does your husband do?
I have never found it rude.
I think all the fancy job titles people have today that make their jobs sound more important than they really are is a direct result of having to answer this type of question.
Like most other personal questions asked by a stranger or acquaintance, it's really only rude if the questioning makes you uncomfortable, you communicate this to the asker, and then the asker continues to pursue the topic.
I'm not American and I find it kind of rude, to be honest. Aside from the fact that I don't like talking about work outside of work, I don't like to be asked and in terms of causal acquaintances, it's no one else's business. I really don't see why it's relevant, unless you are being nosy or wish to judge me based on what I do.
Unfortunately in the USA people often identify a person by what they do rather than who they are. It is a real problem considering college graduates and the job market. Too many attach their personal self-worth and value to a job title or career category.
For some people "who they are" is closely intertwined with what they do. I know some people whose work is truly their passion, and is an extension of either unique abilities or a true love for something.
If a person is being intrusive, say they are status fishing for whatever reason (and there are many), it would be natural to start with occupation, then anything else that is deemed status related. I've had people pretty much pepper me with that question (where it is being done for intrusive reasons, given the context of the situation, and then add other status related questions asked repeatedly if I choose not to take the conversation in the direction they've indicated.
I don't really know for sure what the reason is for this, but at my age, I just don't spend a ton of time if I determine someone is being intrusive. Life is too short isn't just a cute catch phrase anymore once you get to my age.
If you are talking just about status fishing, this can take plenty of forms without talking at all about occupation. It can be conversing about something that one MAY associate with wealth or higher levels of education just to see if the other person has any idea of what you are talking about. Even just getting involved in a conversation about the choices one makes for their kids COULD be status fishing. I grew up around a lot of people who may have been construed as "status fishers". Occupation almost never entered the picture...rather choices that implied a certain level of education or wealth. So in that respect, I'm not sure how the comments about books or museums being better choices for conversation are less intrusive.
If one doesn't want to disclose their occupation...then don't. I'm a fairly private person and generally don't offer up the information to any stranger, however I also realize that I live in an age that if someone googled enough they might find some job related information out there about me...so it isn't like I can really keep it a secret either.
Last edited by aspentree; 07-29-2012 at 11:04 PM..
Reason: spelling
Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"
I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.
But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.
So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
I guess everyone is irked by something. For me the question is not that big a deal.
Maybe if you inform people after they ask in a respectful manner, they won't make such a big deal out of your career.
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