What do you do for a living--How Rude!! (world, American, thoughts)

[louie0406]

Originally Posted by OICU812

Then use your conversational skills.

Some people hate their jobs, so if you don't want to talk about work, then a simple statement that you would rather not be talking about your job will turn the conversation away from you. If you don't care to hear about some person brag about their expensive sports car, their trip to Rome, or name drop about celebrity acquaintances, then it's your turn to to redirect the conversation.

I'd rather just excuse myself and go to the bathroom or to grab a drink then ignore them for the rest of the evening. I'm here to unwind and enjoy myself. Not to be reminded of all the work I have waiting for me on Monday morning.

[louie0406]

The question itself isnt rude. Its the motive behind the question (if there is indeed a motive) that's rude. Like stated several times already, most people use this as a gauge to see where you stand on the economic ladder. If you're well beneath them sometimes they will look down on and just dismiss you. If they're on par with you or above you some people use this as an opportunity to see how you can use or benefit from their status. This is not the case for all but I've seen it happen plenty of times while attending social functions.

[It'sAutomatic]

I ask people this question often and I have never ever ever done it to size them up.

[Omniscient1]

Originally Posted by chica_bella813

Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"

I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.

But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.

So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.

What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??

"What a b***h". Hey, you asked.

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

I hate being asked, hate talking about my job. I don't consider it the least bit associated with my identity, I just chug along for the bare minimum required to pay the bills and allow me to enjoy life.

I completely avoid some relatives who are otherwise nice people but it's ALL they want to talk about. Jeez, I am not at work right now, I don't even want to think about it.

[D. Scott]

Nothing wrong with this question, Unless you work for the NSA or CIA or something like that. Most people spend a great portion of their time at their workplaces and it is just a conversation topic. Now if they start asking about how much you make and you are not close with them, that is different.

This question does not cross the comfort zone in my opinion.

[Del Boy]

Perhaps, you subconsciously feel guilty for what you do. Maybe you feel like you don't deserve what you have.

Now that I have an office job, I have these feelings when I run into people who do hard labor; however, when I did labor, I had no problem telling people what I did.

[charolastra00]

Maybe it's because I am young, but when I ask someone what they do, how far on the "ladder" they are is the furthest thing from my mind! We're all "entry level" - where we are today doesn't necessarily reflect who we will be in 10 years. However, we spend most of the time that we are awake at work or commuting. It's a big part of our lives. I happen to love what I do, and like chatting with others who do things they love (which tends to be most of the people I'm around - most of us work in nonprofits, higher ed, or the occasional programmer).

[sugarsugar]

Originally Posted by aspentree

If you are talking just about status fishing, this can take plenty of forms without talking at all about occupation. It can be conversing about something that one MAY associate with wealth or higher levels of education just to see if the other person has any idea of what you are talking about. Even just getting involved in a conversation about the choices one makes for their kids COULD be status fishing. I grew up around a lot of people who may have been construed as "status fishers". Occupation almost never entered the picture...rather choices that implied a certain level of education or wealth. So in that respect, I'm not sure how the comments about books or museums being better choices for conversation are less intrusive.

If one doesn't want to disclose their occupation...then don't. I'm a fairly private person and generally don't offer up the information to any stranger, however I also realize that I live in an age that if someone googled enough they might find some job related information out there about me...so it isn't like I can really keep it a secret either.

For the majority of people, and by that I do not mean the 1%, knowing the books they read or the museums they visit/don't visit won't tell as much about their status as knowing what they do for a living. Are you thinking of people who already know a base level of status and are merely trying to find out where exactly the person they are speaking too falls within that known range? I've experienced that as well, but generally within a group of people who were so similarly situated in general in terms of position that knowing an exact occupation was not very meaningful.

If I was trying to figure out where a person's status, 9 times out of 10, I'd get there a lot faster asking their occupation. Not a guarantee, but if I had money riding on knowing a person's status and a time limit in which to inquire, I wouldn't start with asking what books they read, etc.

I agree about lack of privacy today and how hard it is for otherwise privately inclined people, of which I am also one, to keep a certain level of privacy. For me, this has more to do with those who are being intrusive and my ability to be the sole determiner of what questions I will or won't answer, depending on a variety of things. With some individuals, it is occupation that they fixiate upon. It isn't that I care if someone knows what I do for a living at all. It is when it is being demanded, sometimes repeatedly. That isn't just a casual question for them at that point, and I generally do not trust complete strangers who will not take no for an answer.

[Chowhound]

Completely bizarre and strange thread.

I don't think the guy was "sizing the OP up" more of a matter of fact, sorta shoot the breeze kind of question, at least that's how I would interpret it.