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I am not making this up. I have a cousin, by marriage, who is very light with wavy textured hair, (think of the singer Cassie Ventura). I hung out with her a few times when we were teenagers. She obsessively talked about her fair skin tone, and brought it up at the most random moments--like how her father discouraged her from hanging outside because all the black guys in the neighborhood are going to want her due to her fair skin tone and wavy hair texture. She then told me that she loves being lightskin because it makes her pretty and she stands out more in comparison to darker skinned girls. I am not making this up. She kept praising her skin tone and saying it made her unique because of it. After a few times I never hung out with her again, because she obviously wanted to oppress me and make me feel less attractive because I was dark. I also recall she got hit on ALOT when we walked to the park, nearly every black dude pulled over asking her what her name was while completely ignoring me. A total blow to my self esteem
Currently in college, I was sitting next to a mix race AA girl and a couple of black guys in the computer lab.It wasn't long before a discussion about mixed girls being "hotter" was brought up. The mixed girl was of course loving the attention, and she kept putting so much emphasis on how most black guys like the fact that her hair is long and silky...I got upset and just moved somewhere else.
In high school I suffered from depression because the topic of skin tone came up a lot. I went to a predominantly black school and it was not unusual for black guys to discuss how darkskinned black girls are less attractive than the lighter toned ones. They would do this in the classroom and the teacher's would never say anything. Everybody could hear the discussion. In their mind, the schools with most prettiest girls usually had a lot of lightskinned girls who attended.. No one would tell them to shut up nor come to the defense of darkskin black girls. I had to put up with this crap for 4 long years. It was very hard for me to have any self esteem in that type of environment. You could be walking down the hallway and hear two black guys saying "if you hook me up with a girl make sure she ain't dark" . Maybe other people don't hear this because its only said in the presence of darkskin women and usually meant to offend them.
I've dealt with the same thing at work. Recently, there were two lightskinned co-workers loudly discussing skin tone. One mentioned that she hoped her daughter did not give birth to a "black ass baby". She said it in such a nasty way. She kept droning on and on about how she hoped the baby won't be "black ass hell". I interrupted her and said "is it a crime to be dark? do you not see that I am darkskinned and you're talking about this around me" She politely tried to backtrack and go "oh there is nothing wrong with darkskin I love me a chocolate man".
So I am not making this up. I have been in plenty of situations where lightskinned/mixed race AAs will start boasting about their recent Caucasian ancestry or make comments how they don't want to be dark in my presence. It is just meant to oppress and put me in my place. There's not much I can do because I can't control what comes out of their mouth. But it is still very offensive and hurts me a lot
Several people in this thread have offered very sage advice. Please listen. Two of my closest relatives are light-skinned people -- my mother and my son. Both have one white parent. But, I don't consider them half-white people. They are simply my mother and my son, whom I love dearly. My mother's siblings are also light-skinned, as are some of their children. One sister chose to live in the white world, and deny her black heritage. That was her decision. When my family gets together, we look like the UN. But, skin tone is NEVER the topic of conversation. Why should it be?
As I stated previously, I had a dark-skinned brother. He was treated the same as the rest of us. My mother still grieves over his death, which practically killed her. She never gave a damn about his dark skin. That was her child, period. Plus, she wouldn't have married a dark man if she had color issues. When my son was born, my ONLY concern was for his health. The first thing my mother did when they brought him to me was count his fingers and toes, and check to make sure he only had one penis and not a penis and vagina. I can't even comprehend the mindset that obsesses over skin color. I believe it's a problem for you, because you have made it the primary focus of your life. It's not healthy.
Several people in this thread have offered very sage advice. Please listen. Two of my closest relatives are light-skinned people -- my mother and my son. Both have one white parent. But, I don't consider them half-white people. They are simply my mother and my son, whom I love dearly. My mother's siblings are also light-skinned, as are some of their children. One sister chose to live in the white world, and deny her black heritage. That was her decision. When my family gets together, we look like the UN. But, skin tone is NEVER the topic of conversation. Why should it be?
As I stated previously, I had a dark-skinned brother. He was treated the same as the rest of us. My mother still grieves over his death, which practically killed her. She never gave a damn about his dark skin. That was her child, period. Plus, she wouldn't have married a dark man if she had color issues. When my son was born, my ONLY concern was for his health. The first thing my mother did when they brought him to me was count his fingers and toes, and check to make sure he only had one penis and not a penis and vagina. I can't even comprehend the mindset that obsesses over skin color. I believe it's a problem for you, because you have made it the primary focus of your life. It's not healthy.
Nyanna's insistence that dark skin is ugly, is extremely annoying, but let's not pretend that a woman's skin color is 100% irrelevant, with respect to men.
Nyanna's insistence that skin color trumps all is very annoying, but let's not pretend that a woman's skin color is 100% irrelevant, with respect to men.
No, it isn't. Nor is it relevant for ALL men. Different strokes. In fact, I know quite a few light-skinned men and women who have a preference for dark skin. You know the old saying -- the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
No, it isn't. Nor is it relevant for ALL men. Different strokes. In fact, I know quite a few light-skinned men and women who have a preference for dark skin. You know the old saying -- the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
This is true, but again, this doesn't change the fact that the majority of Westernized men from all racial/ethnic backgrounds tend to have (or develop) a preference for white and/or light skin women.
Again, I am not stating that there aren't some men from various racial/ethnic groups who prefer and adore dark women, I am just stating that most men prefer white/light women.
I'm sorry if some people want to sugar coat this subject, but I do not believe in being politically correct, just to make other people feel comfortable.
This is true, but again, this doesn't change the fact that the majority of men from all racial backgrounds tend to have a preference for white and/or light skin women.
Again, I am not stating that there aren't some men from various racial/ethnic groups who prefer and adore dark women, I am just stating that most men prefer white/light women.
I'm sorry if some people want to sugar coat this fact, but I do not believe in being politically correct, just to make other people feel comfortable.
I am not denying there are many men with a preference for light-skinned/white women. But, I can only base my opinion on my personal experiences with family members, and other men from various racial and ethnic groups. I am not trying to sugarcoat anything. But, I have found a variety of preferences. That's all I am trying to say.
I am not denying there are many men with a preference for light-skinned/white women. But, I can only base my opinion on my personal experiences with family members, and other men from various racial and ethnic groups. I am not trying to sugarcoat anything. But, I have found a variety of preferences. That's all I am trying to say.
Essentially, we are saying the same thing. There are many men with a preference for white/light skin women; however, there are some who have a variety of preferences, or no preference at all.
My point is, the universal beauty standard for women is white/light skin.
There are women who are very lovely but are by no means dark black women, being paraded as the standard of "black" beauty. The irony of this is being lost on a lot of people: Why can’t truly dark-skinned African American women be held up to represent a skin tone that touches the word “black” much more closely and more realistically than many of the celebrated light "black" beauties?
I am however in no way stating that dark skin women should feel inferior or expect others to pity them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilly1224
Nyanna's insistence that dark skin is ugly, is extremely annoying, but let's not pretend that a woman's skin color is 100% irrelevant, with respect to men.
I beg to differ....these dark skinned Black women are doing more than just "OK"...they grace the arms of some of the most powerful, successful, wealthy and influential men in the world.
Michelle Obama (and her husband Barack )
Pauletta Washington (wife of Denzel)
Princess Angela of Liechtenstein (wife of Prince Maxmillian)
Mellody Hobson (and her fiance George Lucas)
B. Smith (and her husband)
Naomi Campbell (and her billionaire boyfriend)
Sinitta (and her former long time love and best friend Simon Cowell) (plus she also dated Bard Pitt for two years in the 80s)
Model Oluchi (and her husband desinger Luca Orlandi of Luca Luca)
So you're in a room minding your own business, and all of these mulattoes, quadroons and other various and sundry yella Negroes just walk in and start self-congratulating about their good white bloodlines? Ya know what? I ain't buying it.
I'm buying it. I've seen it to some extent first hand. Racism exists and so do class differences. And men will find certain women more appealing. That isn't unique to racial differences. Tall skinny flat chested women might find their shorter, more voluptuous friend getting more attention. Fat girls might feel bad for no one asking them out. I also think looks-ism is worse for women than for men.
Just like the skinny 5' guy in high school may find he's less popular than the 6' muscular jock. He may get fewer dates because heightism, weightism, body-typism, and all the other isms actually do exist. Those who didn't get the "right" looks just have to accept it, do their best but be glad they're not in a wheel chair or laying in a vegetative state --- you can always find someone who has it worse.
Terms like "red-headed step child" and "treating one like the fair-haired child" didn't just happen. People do that kind of thing. And it's why songs like this one were written:
I beg to differ....these dark skinned Black women are doing more than just "OK"...they grace the arms of some of the most powerful, successful, wealthy and influential men in the world.
Michelle Obama (and her husband Barack )
Pauletta Washington (wife of Denzel)
Princess Angela of Liechtenstein (wife of Prince Maxmillian)
Mellody Hobson (and her fiance George Lucas) ....
All of the women featured in your pics are dark/lovely and living quite well, but this doesn't change the fact that around the globe, white/light skin is usually the universal standard of beauty for women.
All of the women featured in your pics are dark/lovely and living quite well, but this doesn't change the fact that around the globe, white/light skin is usually the universal standard of beauty for women.
And how did that come about?
(see the development of "scientific" racism particularly the work of Christoph Meiners)
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