Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There are circumstanced but you don't give all information. Having 4 young kids, I'm guessing her brother was young, where was the mother? How old was the brother, why the untimely death? Is it possible your mother paid the price for her brothers bad decisions? Something's not right? I don't know.
It was NOT my mother, it was my GRANDMOTHER who took in her brother's children
I'm more than happy to share the details Her brother died when he was 39 or 40 of a heart attack, I think that was around 1954 so that makes this 61 years ago? His wife, the mother of the children, was sort of goofy to start with, had a mental breakdown after his death and attempted suicide, after that she began leaving the kids home alone and would just take off for days at a time. That is when my Grandmother went and got the kids. At the time they ranged in age from around 4 to 15. Had she not taken them in, they would have gone to an orphanage since the mother was no where to be found. At the time, Grandmother received what was called "foster child benefits". I was a kid so I don't know if she got cash (if she did it wasn't much) but I do vividly remember how embarrassed she was using those clothing vouchers.
I know that the allegation about using debit cards in Casinos isn't always what it looks like. When I lived in Reno the Casinos would have food specials, sometimes buy one meal get one free, or serious discounts on lunch buffets. If you went and ate there and used a debit card it would show up as a casino transaction but getting a nice meal for a few dollars was actually a very rational choice for a TANF family
"50 years ago is a long time ago. That's not how it works today. The TANF cash benefit is supposed to be for the benefit of the children, not the adult. That TANF cash benefit can be used anywhere to buy anything is a problem. And obviously some use TANF proceeds to make inappropriate purchases that have nothing to do with the children"
I know it was 50 years ago..but some states are pushing for a return to a system where a recipient can only buy specific items- you even advocated that. My Grandmother raised 6 kids, her husband had the same job for over 50 years and she ended up raising four more kids. When people she had known all her life pointed at her struggling with the 'vouchers' she was horribly humiliated. And she did NOT need some welfare bureaucrat telling her how many pair of underpants her nephew could have, or whether her niece really needed a new jacket and that is what people here are advocating which is why I mentioned my Grandmother.
"What percentage of cash withdrawals are suspect? The state's have this information. Is this a relative few bad apples or is it widespread? I don't know. These new state laws seemingly are designed to prevent fraud will will do the opposite."
There is a big difference between "fraud" and what you might consider inappropriate use of cash benefits. IMO fraud is claiming benefits you are not entitled to a far more serious issue than buying beer with your benefits. I just don't get the outrage over 'where' or 'how' people spend these small amounts of cash. Why isn't there hand wringing over kids getting PELL grants? When did you last see a movement to restrict them from spending their money on tattoos or in casinos? It is welfare by the way...
"Another approach would be for the fed to cut off the states and cause them to use their own funds for welfare or not, as they see fit."
Seriously? Can you imagine how much the southern and midwest states would spend on welfare if they didn't get it from the feds?
"I suspect many who have children they cannot support have a lifetime of compounded lousy choices. Their pickers are broken. Eliminating the cash benefit creates an audit trail of expenditures. Adult use of the TANF EBT benefit to make yourself feel better is abuse. Remove the kids from the home and cut the adults off."
I can't even imagine taking someone's kids away because they made 'lousy choices'. It's a serious thing to take someone's kids away and whether you want to believe it or not, most poor people love their kids as dearly as the rest of us do.
"Your aunt was an exception and a saint. She took on the burden of 4 kids who were not her own under unfortunate circumstances".
It was my Grandmother, but that's ok - the problem is that according to many people and perhaps even you- if you had run across her in the store with 4 little kids at her age and her little pile of "welfare vouchers" you might have looked down your nose at her and assumed she was some kind of welfare queen having more kids than she could afford so she could suck at the Gov't teat
"Feeling humiliated is a choice. It's not the federal nor state government's job to tend to the emotional well being of the people".
No, feeling humiliated is not a choice; it's a normal reaction to being treated like a pile of steaming crap by people who usually don't even take the time to figure out who you are or how you got in your current situation
i don't pay attention to what is in other's people's grocery carts, how they pay for purchases or follow them into parking lots to see their mode of transport.
I have no way of knowing the specific circumstances that resulted in anyone being on welfare. And therefore am in no position to judge individuals. There are plenty of people who end up raising their grandkids or sibling kids through no fault of their own. The bio mom/ dad may be in prison or zonked out on drugs or simply took off to pursue their own interests without the burden of kids.
Having said this, we know with certainty that single parenthood is the number one cause of poverty. Unlike many who post here, I don't think most women breed for welfare benefits. It's a tad more complicated than that.
When a man and woman engage in unprotected sex and are not financially capable of taking personal responsibility for the outcome they have made a seriously lousy choice. Almost half the births in the US right now are funded by state Medicaid. Too many are making lousy, irresponsible choices. And some do so multiple times.
When a parent uses the TANF benefit , intended to benefit their children, to entertain or pamper themselves they are abusing the system. I view it as theft- a crime. How does one rationalize using a benefit intended for the children to buy smokes, tats, lottery tix, manicures, hair dos, alcohol, meals in restaurants and on and on. And what in the world is a woman doing giving her EBT card and pin to some guy to spend on his own pleasure?
If one cannot put their children's best interests before their own want of entertainment and/ or pampering, how likely is it they are good role models/ parents?
Again, I have not seen a states percentage of transactions that fall into the highly suspicious category. And I do appreciate that many use a broad brush to paint all and media loves a sensational title/ sound bite.
I know that the allegation about using debit cards in Casinos isn't always what it looks like. When I lived in Reno the Casinos would have food specials, sometimes buy one meal get one free, or serious discounts on lunch buffets. If you went and ate there and used a debit card it would show up as a casino transaction but getting a nice meal for a few dollars was actually a very rational choice for a TANF family
That sounds a tad bit like an excuse.
Is engaging in a " nice meal" the best use of public funds?
How many people choose to avoid the "nice meal" in a restaurant and instead choose to save their money- an emergecy fund or to build some semblance of wealth?
Does the Bill of Rights guarantee all a " nice meal" in a restaurant? Who knew?
Is engaging in a " nice meal" the best use of public funds?
How many people choose to avoid the "nice meal" in a restaurant and instead choose to save their money- an emergecy fund or to build some semblance of wealth?
Does the Bill of Rights guarantee all a " nice meal" in a restaurant? Who knew?
some of the Casino's have deals where you can eat enough to sustain yourself all day for $5 or so. Do you realize that a good number of TANF recipients live in weekly hotels where there are no cooking facilities other than a mini fridge and a microwave?
I just don't get the attitude- it's YOUR money so you have decided that if it's not in the Bill of Rights then a TANF recipient isn't entitled to it? wow...
Is there any reason why a hospitality worker would not bring lunch from home and instead chooses to use funds intended for their children to buy costly take out from a hotel/ casino enterprise, for themselves?
Maybe they are only buying coffee in the morning. Maybe they don't have a place at work to store their lunch. Maybe they normally bring their lunch but once in awhile they don't bring lunch. Maybe they DID bring their lunch but they are still hungry and want to buy a banana from the cafeteria to go with their lunch? Maybe they get a very inexpensive lunch because they get an employee discount and buying the lunch at the cafeteria is cheaper than bringing their lunch from home?
Are we now going to tell them they cannot buy a coffee at work or can't get a bagel for a snack at work? Only allowed to bring food and drink from home?
Who said it's a "nice meal"? Most likely it's cheap cafeteria food. Maybe they work outdoors in the freezing cold in the parking garage and get a hot cup of soup for lunch.
Maybe they are only buying coffee in the morning. Maybe they don't have a place at work to store their lunch. Maybe they normally bring their lunch but once in awhile they don't bring lunch. Maybe they DID bring their lunch but they are still hungry and want to buy a banana from the cafeteria to go with their lunch? Maybe they get a very inexpensive lunch because they get an employee discount and buying the lunch at the cafeteria is cheaper than bringing their lunch from home?
Are we now going to tell them they cannot buy a coffee at work or can't get a bagel for a snack at work? Only allowed to bring food and drink from home?
Who said it's a "nice meal"? Most likely it's cheap cafeteria food. Maybe they work outdoors in the freezing cold in the parking garage and get a hot cup of soup for lunch.
I would think the sodas would make your reflux worse.
It's the carbonation in the drinks that help the most, plus the 7-Up and ginger ale settle my stomach when I do toss my cookies. And don't tell me about the carbonated or flavored water - been there, done that. Not only are they nasty tasting, but they're more expensive as well. I hate what this sugar is doing to me and how I feel and I can't wait to not have to buy them anymore. Only 3 months and 2 1/2 weeks to go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by middle-aged mom
That sounds a tad bit like an excuse.
Is engaging in a " nice meal" the best use of public funds?
How many people choose to avoid the "nice meal" in a restaurant and instead choose to save their money- an emergecy fund or to build some semblance of wealth?
Does the Bill of Rights guarantee all a " nice meal" in a restaurant? Who knew?
Maybe it's their ONLY meal of the day.
I do sort of find it funny about how all these poor people on welfare should do what normal people are supposed to do, work and pay bills, etc. but are held to a much higher standard than those not on welfare, same as when you're homeless. No alcohol, no cigs, no treats, no soda, no fun,.........well, as we all know already, when you are the part of society that isn't poor, you can do anything your little heart desires and get away with it. I wonder how many people on here putting down all the poor people smoke and stick the rest of us with their health care problems.
Maine. You go to the store, you buy food with your EBT, you request cash back at the swipe thing, the store gives you cash back. Seen it with my own two eyes, no, there was no TANF on that card. Not everyone can get TANF.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.