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A little unsolicited advice from a Black man of your parents' generation. Do with it what you will:
You have absolutely no obligation to disprove stereotypes about you (or me). In fact, it's not your role or responsibility to do so. Let me explain.
You've laid out all the evidence that you are a well-rounded, multi-faceted young man with a diversity of knowledge, interests, friendships, etc. You became that person on your own upbringing; your own volition; your own knowledge; your own understanding of people, places and things. Yet you undertake the obligation to emplor others to look past their prejudices to see that you're just as ordinary of a person. That's not a balanced way of gaining the respect that you deserve.
You should never have to "prove" that you're not a stereotype, any more than a White person would "prove" that they aren't a stereotype. You owe nothing to anyone. Just be yourself and let others be who and what they are.
I couldn't help "overreading" (similar to "overhearing") your post. I know I've drawn your wrath before on other threads, but I mean no disrespect. Be it understood that everything you say, in your advice to 'Truthhurts' is all very true; NO ONE, including Blacks, should feel himself compelled to 'explain' himself to others, or to 'vindicate' his day-to-day life, or to be seen as a 'credit to his race'...certainly not.
HOWEVER, when Truthhurts decided to take the time to "explain" a few things, I think it could only be seen as praiseworthy. The man is apparently interested in 'passing along information'...I don't see this as any sort of 'groveling' to gain approval or legitimacy. The fact that blacks remain a numerical minority in American society means that there continue to be those who have YET to be exposed to the voices and thoughts of black Americans, simply because they have yet to be exposed to such. Why not allow an articulate and well-spoken black man chime in with HIS 'take' on things, along with all the ridiculous nonsense we ALL hear from the "thugs" out there?
At the 'end of the day', after all, this is a FORUM. Its purpose is to exchange information, which is what the OP was doing, IMHO. Certainly, no one is REQUIRED to participate (in fact, I'd suspect most people never JOIN an internet forum at all). But if you're going to be on a forum, and engage in discussion, why not sing the praises of worthwhile black culture and thoughts and aspirations? Goodness knows, there's enough "trashy" messages out there in the media, for ALL to see.
I happen to think Truthhurts' efforts were well-founded, and I fail to see anything 'self-deprecating" about them. I learned something by reading his contributions, and as a result, if feel more POSITIVE about blacks (even if they don't have a 'community'), than I did before...
ANY conceivable "minority", in ANY slice of life---whether it's a racial minority, a religious minority, or beekeepers, or deer hunters, or stamp collectors, or vegetarians, or antique furniture restorers...ANYONE who's in a 'select' group, and possibly not understood by the general public--MAY feel the need to explain his position to "outsiders", and when someone comes along who's willing to DO this, in my opinion, this can ONLY be a "good thing"...Efforts to 'reach out" should ALWAYS be encouraged. Some people are sure to listen, and to benefit.
You've never been pulled over in a white neighborhood simply for "driving while black"?
I have a story about this. For many years, my wife (American Indian) worked for the Postal Service in a VERY "ritzy" city that is VERY affluent, and, let's be honest, a little 'stuffy'. The population is heavily white, with a large number of Asians, and some East Indians.
The Postal clerks were of MANY races, and wore "rough" clothing to work, and reported to the job between 3 and 4 AM each day. And, sure enough, about once a week, SOMEONE would report being "pulled over" by the local PD and "checked".
Did this cause hard feelings? Apparently, to a surprising degree, IT DID NOT. It became sort of a joke within the P.O., and apparently, even some of the 'cops' seemed to see the 'silliness' of it. But the fact remains that, in this very "uppity" area, the combination of a minority person (black, Hispanic, Filipino, or even occasionally, a 'white'), wearing 'scruffy' clothing, in an older car, cruising through the area at 3 AM, was BOUND to draw attention...and it did.
Almost NOBODY, in all those years, got seriously upset about it--it was just taken in stride as "part-and-parcel" of working in a "stuffy" area, (and there were plenty of JOKES cracked about the place, BESIDES the 'profiling').
Just thought I'd share this. Personally, I was a little amazed that SOMEBODY, over the years, didn't complain more--- but I never heard of any 'incidents', and no one seemed to take it personally--it was looked at by all as just an 'annoyance'..
HOWEVER, when Truthhurts decided to take the time to "explain" a few things, I think it could only be seen as praiseworthy. The man is apparently interested in 'passing along information'...I don't see this as any sort of 'groveling' to gain approval or legitimacy. The fact that blacks remain a numerical minority in American society means that there continue to be those who have YET to be exposed to the voices and thoughts of black Americans, simply because they have yet to be exposed to such. Why not allow an articulate and well-spoken black man chime in with HIS 'take' on things, along with all the ridiculous nonsense we ALL hear from the "thugs" out there?
No problem "overreading" my post. I'm always glad to dialogue with you.
You raised an interesting point, and it made me think. Follow me on this.
I've always trained in and studied martial arts. Part of developing an expertise was knowing and understanding the people and the culture that formed it, perfected it and produced it. As such, I was always glad to have an older man of Chinese or Filipino descent, share knowledge with me. It was education that was invaluable. So in a sense, your suggestion that Truthhurts was just educating those who are otherwise ignorant, makes some sense.
Now, in terms of martial arts, even though I'm blessed to have information shared with me, I still have an obligation to seek, learn and understand from those who can impart that knowledge in me. If I don't do that, then at best, I'm being intellectually lazy. Intellectually arrogant at worst.
I think it's fair to ask why so many people don't seek the very basic information that Truthhurts shared? It's not like he broke down some complicated mathmatical theorum. He merely explained that the majority of Black Americans are not who and what we're negatively characterized and depicted as. And he has no obligation to do that.
It should already be known. That it's not, says much more about those who don't know, than it does anyone else.
No problem "overreading" my post. I'm always glad to dialogue with you.
You raised an interesting point, and it made me think. Follow me on this.
I've always trained in and studied martial arts. Part of developing an expertise was knowing and understanding the people and the culture that formed it, perfected it and produced it. As such, I was always glad to have an older man of Chinese or Filipino descent, share knowledge with me. It was education that was invaluable. So in a sense, your suggestion that Truthhurts was just educating those who are otherwise ignorant, makes some sense.
Now, in terms of martial arts, even though I'm blessed to have information shared with me, I still have an obligation to seek, learn and understand from those who can impart that knowledge in me. If I don't do that, then at best, I'm being intellectually lazy. Intellectually arrogant at worst.
I think it's fair to ask why so many people don't seek the very basic information that Truthhurts shared? It's not like he broke down some complicated mathmatical theorum. He merely explained that the majority of Black Americans are not who and what we're negatively characterized and depicted as. And he has no obligation to do that.
It should already be known. That it's not, says much more about those who don't know, than it does anyone else.
All true. The fact is, that the large majority of people just aren't going to go 'out of their way' to learn things. For THEM, it doesn't hurt, I guess, to present them with info (a lot of them STILL won't absorb it anyway). Most people, unfortunately, don't "need" any info, because they already "know" everything there is to know....(not me, not you, but we both 'know' many of these folks)...
While I *do* admire where you're coming from, the sad fact of the matter is that the people you are trying to reach simply will NOT be reached by this sort of thing.
You can talk about how you're "not like that" until you're blue in the face, but until people actually open their minds and accept it, all they see are words.
And, REALLY seriously here...Larry the Cable Guy??? *confused*
Thanks, and yes, I find “Larry the Cable Guy” quiet amusing and funny. However, like I said before blue collar comedy would not top my overall list of favorite genres of comedy, but nonetheless, I find Larry hilarious.
Maybe not you, but what do you say about the rest of the "black community?"
Notice, i specificially said in my OP, that I am only speaking for myself, that is all I can speak for. However, i did say it was safe to assume, i'm not the only black person, that shares these views or opinions and that is pretty safet to assume. I never made estimates on how many blacks or the perentage of blacks, because that i would not know. I have never talked to all 36 million before. In fact, i dobut i have ever talked to more than 100,000 or so other blacks. It would be impossible. Sure, I could take liberties and speak for blacks, that have grown up in my same environment, that i'm friends with, but that would not be productive, because I have no idea what they might say in reference to the questions i listed. (I do have an overall idea)
ust because, I’m black and educated, does not make it my job to worry about the 8 million poor blacks in the inner city; they should be worrying about themselves. However, that’s not to say I have no total concern for different black economic segments of the "community," but they do not rank highly on my list of things to do. (Just like poor whites in West Virginia wouldnt rank highly on yours.)
Now, if I was a billionaire, then I would feel a duty or obligation to help, but until, that happens, I can only pursue my interest to the best of my ability and hope the invisible hands plays its part. I have never signed a contact with the supposed “black community,” so I’m under no contractual agreement once i get an education to all of a sudden start caring about anyone outside of my friends or family.
and you fit right in with the 'STEREOTYPE" image which is quite amusing. You don't care about poor black folk since you obviously were born into a situation that precluded you from that.
Tell me how your life would be different if both of your parents were poor & didn't have resources to give you the education you now enjoy?
Well, my life would have been no different than an, asian, black, white, or hispanic child growing up in those situations. How I would have turned out i'm not sure, because I never will get the opportunity to find out. Rather than go on a self serving tagent about the character of my personality in that situation, i'll just say, I do not know. However, i'm sure life would have been much harder.
To the original OP... I think it is great that you live a very cultured life, you are living proof that stereotypes can be broken and you also prove that at the core level, all races are the same.
With that said, you are very unique to almost all of the black people I have ever met. With the exception of a handful, all of the black people I have met or am friends with, fit many of the aspects of the stereotype that you lay out, and on top of that most of them seem to gladly fit in to these aspects because it helps in unifying their bretheren.
What you are doing/saying is very unfair to a majority of the American Blacks out there. Many of them do not live the way you live, they feel that is the white mans life... they don't want part of that... they want to stand out as a black person.
It is a very unfortunate situation that so many black people find it acceptable to fit into the stereotype. I work with a lot of different inner city black people here in Rochester, NY... and by work I mean labor with... by talking with them and getting to know them I conclude that nearly all of them are capable of of a life and education that you and I have, however it seems they choose their stereotypical paths out of stubbornness against white people or social programming.
The only reason I said all of this is because the OP makes a counter generalization against the generalization that ALL black people fit their stereotype. I think what I have provided is somewhat middle ground.
Correction JJtraik, i'm unique for an American. Most Americans do not come from two parent households, where both of the parents have college degrees, and one set of the grandparents are college educated. I'm not unique, because i'm black, i'm unique, because MOST AMERICANS, do not come from a similiar background. I'm fully aware of this and understand, but its not a black thing, it's an American thing!
Remember 70% of the white population does not go to college
80% of the black population does not go to college
40% of the asian population does not go to college
Right. They both generalize from an elitist standpoint revealing a thorough going contempt for those "beneath" them. The OP has no desire whatsoever to discuss or celebrate the diversity of African-American culture, deep down he sees it as monolithic and seeks to place himself apart from it, by showing non-blacks his "uniqueness."
Please, do not put words into my mouth. You have certain feelings and ideologies, that I do not share. However, just because we are part of the same "race" does not mean, i'm supposed to sympathize with your ideologies. I mentioned in the OP, that yes, I do come from an upper middle background, but I have friends of all different social classes, as my main criteria for friendship does not revolve around how much money you have in your bank account. I'm not, that shallow a person. However, because I do not spend a lot of time in inner city ghettos or heavily blue collar areas, i'm not always presented with the opportunity to make friends outside of my social class. College, was actually the best opportunity, to meet kids of different social-economic status. The only other times, I think of would have been doing voluntary work etc. Just, because I don't have a large amount of poorer friends is not an indication i look "down" upon the poor. This would be like chastising a white child that lives in Montana, because he doesn't have a black friend. I'm well aware of the attitudes of "some" blacks, in the Jack-Jill atomsophere, but I was not raised to look down upon others. I was taught to judge people by who they are as people and what they bring to the table in terms of friendship.
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