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Women in the US are taught that blue collar guys are beneath them and are lower status men. More women go to college than men. This is another thing liberal elites caused so yeah I'm sure plenty of black men get screwed just like plenty of white or hispanic guys in that category do.
Why does it matter if a woman decides not to date a blue collar worker? At the end of the day, each person has to determine what is in their own best interest. There is nothing wrong with a person deciding that they prefer dating non blue collar men.
Obviously, there are people who believe that blue collar guys are great.. and those women, should feel free to date them without trying to control other people's preferences.
Short answer: No. Black women do not owe black men unity. I'm sorry, did you think I was trying to indicate that you "owed" me anything? I don't believe I was.
Black women are WOMEN first, not black. We deserve the BEST deal as women and gladly a lot of us are starting to see that black men collectively hold us back from that. Black men need to focus on being MEN which means holding other black men accountable for not taking care of their children and leaving their communities in a cesspool of violence, abuse, and disease. Black men need to find a way, just like other non-white races of men, to build for their women and children. You're one of those that even if BM did do this (and believe it or not, some do, they are out there) you'd still complain. This requires that black men become educated in either a skill or trade that is relevant in society. None of this black men WANT to do, even though the "evil" white man has provided many opportunities (low income scholarships, grants, etc) in order for you to do as such. Number one, I don't think the white man is evil. I know not all while people are racist, I'd say MOST are not. That said, depending on the region one lives in, it may be harder for black men to find jobs after college than their white male counterparts. Also ma'am, I have a Bachelor's degree and a Master's degree. It was not until I obtained my Master's degree that I obtained gainful employment. Black women are no longer going to be gaslighted and have the wool pooled over her eyes by your ineptness and failure to take responsibility for yourselves as men.
It is interesting that we see these threads and pleads on social media from black man to unify AFTER black women are starting to wake up to the reality of who black men collectively are - and consequently adapt their mating and dating choices to reflect such. This isn't a plead, it's supposed to be a conversation on how to stop the divide between BM and BW because there is a bitter divide and it has been there for way too long. I didn't cause it. Black men have held very selective, colorist ideals of black women for for too long. Not all of us. You all degrade and defame us in your rap lyrics and music videos. Funny that you mention this, I hate most of today's rap. I've returned to R&B and Gospel for the most part. Instead of appreciating us you lust after the whitest, brightest woman you can get. To be fair, I'm not opposed to interracial dating as long as it's for the right reason. I also live in Louisiana where black folks come in a large variety of shades. I'm dark skinned, wouldn't mind if my spouse were as well. I'm not under the pretense that my kids would be light skinned solely by me marrying a light skinned woman. And for those that do entertain black women you leave us unmarried baby mommas. Not married, but if I were, I wouldn't do that. That's not my style. You don't want us to wear makeup, you tell us to remain "thick" aka obese only to not draw the attention of other races of men who come to benefit us. What the hell are you talking about? That guy sounds like a control freak. Have no issue w/ a woman who wears make up given that it's not overdone. If my shirt is brown after hugging you, then you've probably overdone it! As far as your thickness or your thinness, if you're happy then so am I.
The best, brightest, and most desirable black women are moving on and forward. Sorry this is done so publicly but you all have spent the last 10 years defaming our image we feel it's only appropriate to return the favor. So no - we are not marching for you, pleading with you for our humanity, and we are not blaming white men for your failures as men but instead accepting their offers for romantic love and marriage which will benefit us. Do you, but there are some trifling white men as well. I've seen them, I live in the south.
I never quite under the segment of BW who have decided to no longer date BM but then criticize BM who get w/ WW. If you don't want a BM anyway, then why would who he dates concern you?
I think there are several layers to this, but the simple answer is yes, most people would perceive the woman in the video to be black. However, this does not negate the fact that she is actually biracial (black/Asian).
I can only comment on what I've read online (Twitter and another forum that I will not name). What I have seen has been related to the song referencing a "Richard Pryor afro," while using a biracial woman with long, curly hair. Hair is a BIG think in the black community - we even have the expression "good hair," which refers to hair that is curly/wavy.
I also cannot comment on whether black women with relaxers/weaves felt the video attacked their blackness or that is sparked a divide between those who wear their hair naturally vs. those who relax. However, I do believe it ties into the bigger issue of our attitudes about "good hair" and how we can expand beauty ideals within the black community.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
But wouldn't the woman in Lamar's video be considered black on the street? Its the same argument people use against Obama's "blackness." He's half white and raised by white grandparents. So he's not really "black" or not "black enough."
Also, from what I've read of Lamar's "Humble" video criticisms, people think its a reverse slap in the face for women. Like, if women want to wear weaves, relax their hair, etc. they are somehow denying their blackness. I can see where these people are coming from in a way. I compare it to the skinny vs. fat women issue. In order for us to "accept" fat women, we had to make an enemy out of skinny women. Instead of embracing the idea of individuality and the fact that cosmetic choices do not ever diminish one's ethnicity, life experience etc., I see people on the internet trying to create a divide between black women who are "natural" and those who are not. Women, in particular - no matter the race - are our own worst enemies sometimes.
One other thought, just because Lamar is saying he appreciates "natural" women, doesn't mean its a sleight against other women who choose to groom themselves differently. This honestly reminds me of when I tell one of my kids they are smart, handsome, etc. and the other one gets jealous. Like, just stop. Just because one is praised at a particular moment in time doesn't mean insult to the other.
You should visit the Schomburg. For over 90 years all reputable scholars in the study of African American culture and history are in disagreement with you. ..but perhaps you have uncovered new research contrary to the New York public library's vast collection.
African-American culture today is whatever Hollywood tells it.
The notion that Black Americans (I strongly dislike the label "African" being used to apply to Americans who have no real immediate ties to African nations) have no culture is asinine. Black American culture is largely American.
I always find it hilarious when non Black Americans attempt to rebuke Black Americans. Sorry to say this, but if your culture was so great and your native homeland was worthwhile, you would be there.. not here.
I've visited several nations in West Africa and although I enjoy learning about their histories and way of life, it is simply not my background or culture and I don't believe in pretending that it is.
Thanks for making my point. I also agree that you aren't West African, which is fine.
The keyword is "their," as in, black women are entitled to determine what is important to them and they should not be criticized for doing so.
Obviously, there are many factors that people look for when selecting a potential mate. What I find is interesting is that black women are constantly told to lower their standards, no matter what they are. To be more specific, this is typically how it goes:
BW: I want to date/marry a man with a degree
Peanut gallery: A guy with a steady job should is good enough
BW: I want to date/marry a man who does not have any children
Peanut gallery: But he only has 1 child and doesn't pay child support
BW: I want to date/marry a man who doesn't have a criminal
Peanut gallery: He doesn't do that anymore - he's a changed man
In other words, whatever standard black women set for themselves, there will always be someone who says it is too high.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
Lowering their standards?
Of the couples I mentioned in the foregoing post, most of them are quite comfortable financially speaking. Not only that, but they have good, strong relationships and really get along well.
Perhaps some people should start judging men based on their behavior and morals instead of their degree and bank accounts.
Also, this fascination with men's bank accounts as it relates to mating is not a universal standard. I read this book last year:
She discusses the idea of dependency in American relationships - parent/child; man/woman; worker/employer; citizen/government - and how Finland differs. One of the most eye opening chapters centered on the relationships between men and women. Finnish women are quite a bit more independent than American women. For example, Finnish tax structure does not reward marriage. ALL are taxed individually. Another thing is that women are expected and encouraged to forge their own way in life via their careers. They don't need to "marry up" in order to establish a firm, stable place in society. So, when Finnish women are looking for a mate, they look towards things like friendship, compatibility, etc. rather than a man's resume or bank account.
I wonder if our divorce rates would diminish if we started teaching young girls this way of life and thinking? I can't imagine solid marriages that last being predicated upon one's fascination with their partner's bank account and financial assets.
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