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FYI - there are feminists of all ethnicities. Only difference between those ethnic groups in America and blacks on feminism and women's rights is that the men don't make it an issue about a specific ethicity of the women like black men do.
There is always some white, Latino, Asian, etc., man complaining about "feminazis" on this very forum. They don't speak ill though based on race - just gender itself and them not supporting feminism.
In the black community it is only an issue because of black men and their desire to have black women always agreeing with them and working with them and if we take a stand on something not black male related, they want to say we are trying to be divisive or like white people - seemingly their ultimate enemies.
I don't like feminists period because they're all about controlling men, they're hypocrites and have too many double standards, want to morph society to cater to them by spewing lies that have been debunked, , and not caring about men or treating them well. In the eyes of a feminist you don't take care of your man if he's sick if you have something better to do. You never come first in their world. I would die old and alone (and probly rich lol) before I would ever date or marry a modern day feminist.
That's why feminists don't like it when white men date or marry different races of women or women from more conservative cultures they see themselves as losing the power struggle and their leverage over their men. It's all about control and them not wanting to lose their stranglehold on our neck.
imo black men and white men are starting to have a lot of the same problems. White women complain about white men all day now lol...just read all the threads, blogs, articles, there's stuff everywhere with white women complaining about how there's no quality guys in the US.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 04-12-2017 at 05:15 PM..
I thought it was interesting too, this comment that once again all blame is placed on the black woman.
The bold is very naive and stereotypical. A majority of all women seek a long term partner and especially black women in my experience.
Also black women don't have the highest rates of neglected and abused children. Information on neglect and abuse are about reports and not substantiated actual abuse cases. Also neglect is not as prevalent with blacks as it is with whites. Like in the criminal justice system itself, there is evidence of racial bias in the reporting of neglect and abuse for black families versus others so one has to consider this when reviewing that data.
In regards to STDs, black men have the highest rates of STD contradiction, not black women. Because black women overwhelmingly seek black spouses/mates, we stand to be affected by these contradictions of black men much more than other women populations by ethnicity.
All of the things you mentioned above are not issues that can be blamed on black women. I agree that relationships should not be primarily based on "looks" or someone's body type but honestly, men are much more likely to want to date a woman who is exceptionally attractive versus a woman period, and this extends to black women. There is always some fine woman with an unattractive man lol. You rarely see the opposite. Women of all ethnicities are not as hung up on looks as men are.
I'm comparing black women to other women, not men, that would be silly.
So basically black men bare no responsibility for their own behavior? How can we build strong communities without strong men?
Who is raising these men? You guys act like it's a blank slate not a cycle. A woman decides to mate with a short term partner, raises boy without a father and boy grows up emotional & undisciplined. He will most likely not be marriage material because he's used to getting what he wants now. Do this millions of times over and you have black America.
I post on thecoli...and I'm going to have to disagree with you about "the good black men remaining" silent. That is just purely false. The majority of black men do defend black women. And a lot of the time the people talking bad about black women get exposed as being white with fake black accounts. And yes that does happen all over the internet. And for every thecoli there's a lipstickalley for black women.
And you're using the talkings heads from youtube...I brought that up in another post. I'm guessing you talking about "Tommy S." (I don't want to say this piece or trashes full *fake* name...you know who I'm talking about he's the worst one)...and a few others. I These radicals on both sides make it seem worse than it actually is. Online...a few people would have you thinking we're at each other's throat when it's not the case.
This is the issue that I'm mainly having with these conversations...both sides have these huge paint brushes out. Like the majority of black men aren't "self hating" bed bucks. The majority of black women aren't self hating wenches. Interracial dating is actually extremely low, like less than 10% of black people do it. But people would have you thinking these issues are out of control.
And at the end of the day, I will say this...as we've recently seen in the last few days, many black men don't know what to do right now. I already brought Kendrick lamar being fried for saying he preferred "natural" women....then Tyrese is getting fried because talked about how women shouldn't "h0es"...lol...so two black men with platforms are saying they want natural women who aren't h0es...and it's all wrong, too. All the hatred for these lyrics and images from rap videos for all these years and now dudes are saying they want the opposite and people are like "do tell us what to do, we can be promiscuous and wear weave if we want"...it's frustrating and funny at the same time. But mostly confusing. This goes to the fact that black women aren't a monolith and speaking to one set of black women's issues can go badly so some men would rather just not say anything.
I think that MOST "good" black men defend black women even if it's not on a wide platform. I'll admit it does need to be less discreet and more vocal but I'd recon to say that the majority of BM don't hate BW. Admittedly we do get frustrated with some BW but I'm sure there are plenty of occasions where they get frustrated with us. The goal should be striving for emotional healing between us.
For a very long time black American women, especially ones who are college educated, middle class and above, were derided as being gold diggers for aspiring to marry men who are of equal background or above. Black women with JDs, MDs, and PhDs were encouraged to date and marry black men who were UPS, USPS and FedEx. But the black men with their JDs, MDs and PhDs were told that the world is their oyster and you can choose from whatever nation you so desire.
So I agree. High quality black women should stop dating, marrying, mating and procreating with low quality black men and should realize that the world is also our oyster. Stop having children out of wedlock. Focus on quality men.
I wouldn't completely dismiss blue collar guys if I were you. Some of them make more money than folks with PhD.
Ok - black women are responsible for doing a terrible job in selecting the father of their children and raising their children. No argument on that. But it still doesn't answer my questions. What responsibility do black men bare for the state of the black community? How can we have a strong community without strong men?
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdwardA
Who is raising these men? You guys act like it's a blank slate not a cycle. A woman decides to mate with a short term partner, raises boy without a father and boy grows up emotional & undisciplined. He will most likely not be marriage material because he's used to getting what he wants now. Do this millions of times over and you have black America.
Just out of curiosity, do you have any daughters who are of age to date or marry?
No ma'am, not at the moment. I'm relatively young having only recently turned 30 and do not have any children at this time. I'm probably a rarity for my age group in my region.
Now, you realize that if a white person came on the other thread where black people are discussing the problems of being black and expressed the same opinion "a number of white people have decided to form our own anti-defamation organization, to legally protect ourselves from those who seek to destroy us," that comment would not be regarded as helpful.
You realize that, right? Do you think it's helpful here?
It probably would not be taken with open arms as this is really not a matter that many white people are familiar with. Many only go by what they see on TV.
That said, in my last thread in this part of City Data, you stated that even you don't know of many black men today that you would recommend for your daughter. Can I ask why? Is it based on where you live?
Ok, that explains a lot. But if you ever have daughters, you will more than likely have a different opinion about them lowering their standards.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pandorafan5687
No ma'am, not at the moment. I'm relatively young having only recently turned 30 and do not have any children at this time. I'm probably a rarity for my age group in my region.
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