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For women, everywhere is the ghetto. There are certainly different interpretations of what may constitute a gold chain. What is a "skimpy" outfit? Why is it ok to wear shorts but not a short dress? Can women ever wear a tank top? Where and when?
WHO makes these rules...And you can bet even if and when women follow every rule, they will come up with something else she did wrong. Attractive women can wear a sack and get chased around. I had one boss blame my hairstyle for distracting the men, because that is all he could come up with. (Hijab?!) So I know they will go to great and irrational lengths to blame women for male misbehavior.
This. Way back in the late 90s when I still smoked, I went to a convenience store near my house to buy cigarettes. It was snowing like crazy and hardly anyone was able to get out, and the city was basically abandoned. I arrived at the convenience store wearing sweats with huge muddy dog prints all over them, courtesy of my two Great Danes' enthusiastic displays of affection.
I went inside intending to just buy the smokes and check out and received persistent unwanted attention from a stranger who was determined to find a warm hook up. I could not have been dressed less attractively had I tried. After saying no nicely failed, it took raising my voice and a few choice words to get him to stop.
I was once mugged, and, yes, the guys who did it are to blame. But I also realize I was walking down a dark, deserted street late at night. So I gave them an opportunity that I will never give them again.
Stay safe, Rg
Last edited by raggedjim; 10-05-2018 at 11:49 AM..
Reason: My typing is atrocious!
If you get robbed, you have the right to complain, but if you were being foolish when you got robbed, I have the right to tell you you were being stupid. You can call it "victim-blaming", I'll call it reality.
My daughter had to deal with inappropriate touches from a boy at school in the 4th grade. He also tried to pull up her dress. The principal and his parents took care of it. It starts at home with parents teaching their sons and daughters what is appropriate and what isn't appropriate. All the victim blaming from adults is ridiculous.
My daughter had to deal with inappropriate touches from a boy at school in the 4th grade. He also tried to pull up her dress. The principal and his parents took care of it. It starts at home with parents teaching their sons and daughters what is appropriate and what isn't appropriate. All the victim blaming from adults is ridiculous.
We had an exposer in about the fourth grade. He never did it to me but I heard all about it. I don't know where he got the idea to do that.
Many rapes and sexual batteries went unreported for decades because of the culture.
It was traumatic enough to be raped, but then being raped a second time by police was too much for most women.
Rape victims were not interviewed at all, ever. They were interrogated.
Police demanded rape victims answer questions that were totally inappropriate or irrelevant, like, "When did you lose your virginity?"
Police demanded rape victims relate their entire sexual history, naming every man they ever slept with, and the number of times they had sex, and the last time they had sex and such, none of which have any bearing on the crime. Police also blamed the victim, and often refused to believe the victim, accusing her of lying.
By the late 1980s, several major metropolitan police departments made it policy to have a female police officer present during interrogations.
So, we're talking literally a handful of the 17,000+ police departments in the US had that policy, and it was not effective, because the female police officer acted just like the male police officers, asking the same questions and blaming the victim.
It wasn't until the late 1990s that nearly all police departments had changed their policies so that only a female police officer interviews a rape victim and not in the presence of males, except when females aren't available, and there are many police departments that don't have females for one reason or another, none of which have anything to do with discrimination against females.
And rape victims are still trying to over-come the widely held view that if you don't show signs of physical trauma, then you weren't raped.
In other words, if your clothing isn't tattered, torn or missing, and you don't have bruises, scrapes, scratches or lacerations, then you weren't actually raped.
To put it another way, these people believe that if a woman doesn't put up a fight and submits to the rapist to avoid physical harm, then she wasn't actually raped.
It will probably be another couple of decades before people who think like that die off, retire from the police or prosecutor's office or get with the program.
I understand all that, and it was horrible what victims had to go through. There was even an episode of "All in the Family" circa 1973 that dealt with Gloria in an attempted rape scenario. She reported it, but the police officer who came to the house grilled her on what she wore, how friendly she was with other men, how she probably enjoys the attention, etc. She ended up not taking any action because of what the cop said.
Thankfully, the times have changed ... and in fact, attitudes toward women were changing for the better starting in the 1970s, and into the '80s & '90s. Nobody should ever be afraid to report anything of this nature, but it needs to be reported WHEN it happens. I feel terrible for the victims that were blamed, accused, and seen as liars all those years ago, but unfortunately, there's very little which can be done about it now. Digging up an incident from 30+ years ago (especially something very questionable) makes the accuser all the less credible, especially when there is a lack of evidence.
Also, it's true that a fair share of women have lied or exaggerated about being harassed or assaulted. Some of them have done this as a means of revenge for one reason or the other after being in a consensual matter. A good share of women have flirted and made inappropriate advances toward men (and other women as well). The way I see it, this "Me Too" movement is very slanted in favor of females and against males. There needs to be balance.
There seems to be a lot of controversy around this issue. Although there is little debate that women are not responsible for sexual assaults, do they have a duty to protect themselves? If so, how? Avoiding being alone? Not drinking to excess, avoiding skimpy clothing, what? Many individuals of both genders have expressed this opinion. And if she doesn't protect herself in whatever way is deemed necessary or fitting, is the perpetrator less at fault if an assault happens?
How about burkas. Not driving. Not seeking an education. Keep those women barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen and bedroom less they cause you male folks trouble by going out there and asking to be harassed and assaulted; you know cause we do aim to please you and don't wish to inconvenience you by requesting anything decent or civilized such as respect for others.
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