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I have had a total of four years of counseling spread over different periods in my life.
One year at age 17 due to the loss of a child I worked with and my parents' very restrictive rules, another at age 21 because of severe depression and family of origin issues and two years at age 29 since my issues from my abusive childhood were affecting my marriage. I'm nearly 35 now and I've learned to use all of that counseling to help me through rough times. It also helps that I have a loving and compassionate husband.
It can take at least a year to see improvements but that also depends on how serious your emotional difficulties are. Age is also a factor since it's much easier to change patterns when you're young. Be open to your therapist's suggestions and implement their advice.
It's also very realistic to note that various mental health issues are highly resistant to treatment, and the most that can be done is management of symptoms and alleviating severity and frequency of flareups and crises, learning how to identify and avoid potential triggers, learn productive and safe ways to respond in crisis, how to maintain self-care, etc.
Some come to therapy expecting miracle cures and are disheartened if there aren't any, which is no different than having unrealistic expectations of medical care for chronic, incurable physiological conditions. Nobody likes to hear that management of symptoms is their answer, but sometimes, it IS the answer. It can create a bad attitude among those who advocate and expect the "fix me" approach, though.
Of course you are welcome to contribute here, but I do think it's relevant to this subject if your entire experience with therapists took place when you were a child.
Things have changed; your memories have changed; you have changed.
So it seems I have finally found a therapist I click with. We had a small chat on the phone about a week ago and she was very insightful. I absolutely felt understood.
I had already attended therapy when I was in college a few years back and it was bad. The (male) therapist said I was flirting with him (which I was not), focused on my so-called 'privileged' background and even told me I was lying about my childhood abuse (at which point, I stopped the sessions since it was pointless to talk to someone who didn't believe me when all of my core issues stem from this pain).
This time around, I'm seeking professional help with a therapist who seems highly qualified and I'm paying the proportionate price. I really want this to work for me.
Have you ever successfully undergone therapy? How long does it take to finally see progress? How is the progress noticed?
Well, I have never undergone continual and professional psychological therapy, but I provide it, so I can offer my opinion on this issue.
As far as how long it takes? Wow. Talk about an impossible question! I could be smug and say, "As long as it takes" but doubtless that answer would be a non-answer and would benefit nobody. So I will say that the length of therapy for any given client will--and does--vary wildly. Many factors play into this: the quality if the therapy; the motivation of the client to work sincerely wit the therapist, and of course the severity or depth of the psychological issue at hand that warrants the therapy in the first place.
As far as the type of therapy that it sounds like you are undergoing, the sort that helps you recognize and then overcome bad habits, or, more technically, maladaptive coping mechanisms, this is called Cognitive Therapy, and used to be called Behavioral Therapy. It is of the Humanist School, and helps us see where our thinking patterns have gone awry in such a way that they are now doing us more harm than good, and indeed interfering with our quality of life.
It is true, by and large, that in most cases the client really does already have the answers as to what he/she is doing wrong, and what they need to do in order to rectify the problem. (One caveat, this rule of thumb does not apply to cases involving severe mood disorders, or true psychopathy, such as schizophrenia, some Bipolar, and BPD). The latter of which has its own inherent set of obstacles for both the client and therapist.
Cognitive therapists, including myself, use a sort of Socratic Method, as I like to call it. Where we ask for some of your commonly held beliefs and then try and analyze them and see how well they really hold up. We offer counter examples and possible exceptions or refutations, and then we return to your premise and see if it is still valid and helpful to you.
I am happy to hear you have found a therapist whom you think will help improve your life. Best of luck, and remember the quality of the help he provides you is almost entirely dependent upon your level of honesty with him.
I'll do a "worst therapist" story. left a bad relationship 100 yrs ago. Ex found the therapist & actually with met her on numerous occasions and she decided to discuss everything I ever said with him.
Ya so ummmm, it was the last therapist I ever had.
LLCNYC - that is a bad therapist and I think anyone who had gone through a lot of education and licensing and took their profession seriously enough to be professional would never risk it on such stupid behavior. You can lose those hard-won licenses that way and anyone who invested enough in getting them would know better. And that's exactly my point about how vulnerable people needing help get turned off to it.
As for what they do (good therapists), you can think of them as fine tools to help you accomplish some things you can't manage on your own. You're doing it, but with the right help it can actually get done. If you wanted to learn to cook, you'd find a good teacher. The better the input, the better the outcome. And keep in mind that better doesn't necessarily mean more expensive: in a public health setting, someone very professional will have seen a far wider range of problems than someone hanging out a shingle on their street. But also better at knowing who's ready and will benefit and how to help those that aren't there yet.
Also, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is more hands-on and results-driven. Psychotherapy can go on forever and go nowhere.
My experience was pretty negative too. The difference was that I did therapy as a kid, so "flirting" wasn't even in the equation. But the "didn't believe me" part was exactly the same. The therapist would ask me: "How did this-and-that make you feel?" I'd give an answer. The therapist would turn around and say: "No, that's not what you felt."
Now, how do you respond to that?
more mind control and money making from a profession invented from old asylums.
LLCNYC - that is a bad therapist and I think anyone who had gone through a lot of education and licensing and took their profession seriously enough to be professional would never risk it on such stupid behavior. You can lose those hard-won licenses that way and anyone who invested enough in getting them would know better. And that's exactly my point about how vulnerable people needing help get turned off to it.
As for what they do (good therapists), you can think of them as fine tools to help you accomplish some things you can't manage on your own. You're doing it, but with the right help it can actually get done. If you wanted to learn to cook, you'd find a good teacher. The better the input, the better the outcome. And keep in mind that better doesn't necessarily mean more expensive: in a public health setting, someone very professional will have seen a far wider range of problems than someone hanging out a shingle on their street. But also better at knowing who's ready and will benefit and how to help those that aren't there yet.
Also, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is more hands-on and results-driven. Psychotherapy can go on forever and go nowhere.
and make loads of cash for the therapist...isnt it they plant the seed that you cant do it on your own an need that hour with them once a week, surely talking with a good friend would give better results than some screwball con artist. who sometimes can cause more misery than help.
I hope you're right. I do wonder what "no, that's not what you felt" could have meant.
That's the thing...who knows what kind of person you were seeing, or the circumstances?
I know my experience and perceptions of experiences I had as a 9-yr-old are very different from my parents' memories and perceptions of those same experiences.
That's the thing...who knows what kind of person you were seeing, or the circumstances?
I know my experience and perceptions of experiences I had as a 9-yr-old are very different from my parents' memories and perceptions of those same experiences.
And you have to consider that how you're remembering what happened might not be exactly what happened. You were a kid, and you probably didn't want to be there, and your subconscious may have edited the story over the years to adjust to the narrative that you want to project.
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