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I don't have any anger. I am calling BS on this 'condition' he says he 'can't help'. He is very sick and should seek help. He doesn't want to even try, he just wanted her to keep on this way. He was there to legitimize his 'condition' which as you admit, doesn't exist as one.
This isn't a disorder, doesn't mean he doesn't feel a strong urge to do it. Go on YouTube, there's many just like him. He works, he's not trying to abuse the system.
And Dr.Phil is a scripted "reality" show, nothing more.
I don't know why they want to call some of these things a disorder or give them a name. They can all just fall under the blanket category of bat **** crazy. There are just weird crazy people in this world and some of them just do these types of things for attention.
I don't know why they want to call some of these things a disorder or give them a name. They can all just fall under the blanket category of bat **** crazy. There are just weird crazy people in this world and some of them just do these types of things for attention.
I'd say that going on TV with it (lol unless they offered him a bunch of money to appear, maybe they did!) was "for attention." Most people however do whatever it is they are into in the privacy of their homes and you would never have any idea what they get up to. So they really don't want "attention."
Mental health cannot be measured by how close to conformity to a standard of absolute "normal" a person's life exists. Some of the most sane people I've ever known do many things that most people don't do.
And some of the most amazing, creative, brilliant people I've ever known suffer from real mental health problems.
Or by "crazy" did you not mean "mentally unhealthy" and more like "weird and icky and I don't like it!"
I swear, again, it seems to me that some folks just want everyone to be as alike as possible. Why?
As long as it's not causing harm, sure, each to his own. But this 'syndrome' seems to be an excuse to relieve oneself off all responsibilities & depend on others for support. Just an excuse to be a malingering bludger.
From what I saw, the guy used a lot of emotional manipulation to convince his gf to play along.
He didn't want a gf, but rather, a 'mummy' to support him & service his needs.
It isn't a syndrome, it's behavior. Not all behavior is pathological. Some is maladaptive. Some isn't.
If his girlfriend is fine with supporting his behavior. Cool. If she's not, and left, cool. None of those things suggest a clinical condition, though. People end relationships all the time when the things the other person wants, is into, incorporates into their lifestyle, etc. aren't compatible with what they want or are comfortable with. A relationship ending because there are significant incompatibilities isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing.
Again, hard to see what harm is being caused, unless somebody is being abused and coerced into staying in a relationship they don't want to be in.
ditto on what TabulaRosa said. It's his personal choice and no one should be summarily mocked for what we in a general sense cannot understand... i stand with Shakespeare
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." live and let live. just sayin'
I'd say that going on TV with it (lol unless they offered him a bunch of money to appear, maybe they did!) was "for attention." Most people however do whatever it is they are into in the privacy of their homes and you would never have any idea what they get up to. So they really don't want "attention."
Mental health cannot be measured by how close to conformity to a standard of absolute "normal" a person's life exists. Some of the most sane people I've ever known do many things that most people don't do.
And some of the most amazing, creative, brilliant people I've ever known suffer from real mental health problems.
Or by "crazy" did you not mean "mentally unhealthy" and more like "weird and icky and I don't like it!"
I swear, again, it seems to me that some folks just want everyone to be as alike as possible. Why?
There is a large propensity among certain crowds to label anything that is distasteful to them as assuredly a sign of illness or dysfunction.
I would also agree that whenever anybody goes on daytime TV with their story or issues, whatever those stories or issues are, there is obviously a huge attention-seeking element. Attention-seeking, itself, however, isn't an illness. It's just an annoying behavior. Loads of people are attention-seeking. Doesn't make them mentally ill.
Something being weird to you doesn't make it "wrong." "Wrong" is defined by individual moral and legal codes, which vary by population and culture. There is very little in the world that fits a universal definition of "wrong." Maybe nothing. So it's kind of pointless to argue that everyone should see things through whatever individual cultural lens you see them through. It's also why morality doesn't guide diagnoses.
If more people were comfortable saying, "That behavior is really unappealing to me, I'm not comfortable with it, and I wouldn't attach myself to a partner who is into it...I just don't get why it's a thing, it's not for me," rather than reverting to knee-jerk, "Ugh! Sick and wrong!" especially when it's behavior that isn't inherently harmful or victimizing of anybody, there would just be so much more room for learning, productive conversation, intelligent discourse, etc.
It isn't a syndrome, it's behavior. Not all behavior is pathological. Some is maladaptive. Some isn't.
If his girlfriend is fine with supporting his behavior. Cool. If she's not, and left, cool. None of those things suggest a clinical condition, though. People end relationships all the time when the things the other person wants, is into, incorporates into their lifestyle, etc. aren't compatible with what they want or are comfortable with. A relationship ending because there are significant incompatibilities isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing.
Again, hard to see what harm is being caused, unless somebody is being abused and coerced into staying in a relationship they don't want to be in.
He's the one saying it's a syndrome and wanted to educate about it. If he just said this is how I want to live, there would be a different discussion.
But it isn't. Calling something a syndrome doesn't make it a syndrome. Calling something an illness doesn't make it an illness. Calling something sick and wrong doesn't make it sick and wrong.
He's the one saying it's a syndrome and wanted to educate about it. If he just said this is how I want to live, there would be a different discussion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
I'm aware.
But it isn't. Calling something a syndrome doesn't make it a syndrome. Calling something an illness doesn't make it an illness. Calling something sick and wrong doesn't make it sick and wrong.
Agree, it's not a "syndrome."
I think what drives people to feel a need, to somehow say "I can't help it," is that there are so many people in society ready to shake a finger at them and tell them they need to stop doing unusual behaviors.
I mean, this (and other lifestyle choices) aren't in the same ballpark as sexual orientation, but there has been debate for a long time over whether being gay (or trans, or what have you) is a choice or it's something you were born with, part of who you are and always would be. What is troubling about even having that conversation in the first instance, is it presupposes that there's anything broken that needs fixed, anything wrong with being gay, trans, etc, whatever. If it's a choice you get people hollering about sin and trying to make people "choose" not to be/do the thing they find distasteful. If it's nature, genetic, neurochemical, you will inevitably have some who think there should be a medical "cure" that will render the person "normal." Either approach opens that person up to attack when they could instead just love themselves for whatever and whoever they are, be their own best self however that looks to them, and do what fulfills them in their pursuit of happiness, so long as it harms no one.
In a society where gay people have to defend themselves from arguably very harmful "conversion therapy" it doesn't surprise me that a man is trying to claim that this lifestyle is some kind of a "syndrome." He's just trying to say that he can't help it, it's who he is. The truth is that he can help it, but he does it anyways because it brings him happiness. It's disappointing that this isn't simply good enough, it's all the explanation anyone should need.
"I'm not harming anyone, and this makes me happy. I'm fortunate enough to have a partner who will indulge it."
Simple.
I kind of understand though, because having experienced what I have, at this point an unwillingness to fulfill certain needs I now understand that I have...it does enough good for me, I consider it a "need" more than a want...would be a dealbreaker with any potential partner. In my case a degree of natural sadism is a requirement. In this guy's case, a degree of willingness to change a diaper is a requirement. We all have our own preferences and criteria in life. *shrug*
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