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Back in old days,in an agricultural society,elderly parents held the assets ,to have a daughter in law,this is an extra mouth to feed,so she has to justify by bearing children,doing household chores and taking care of her hubby and in laws.
SEx is meant to produce offsprings,not for producing pleasure,but we are smart,we can have either one,or both-have the cake and eat it too.
It might affect your compatibility with potential partners but it has nothing to do with your worth. I think framing is very important in our self talk. On some level you are signaling to yourself that you are worth less because your odds of conceiving a healthy pregnancy are 50/50. That limiting belief about yourself (even if it is below your awareness) is likely to cause more problems for your relationships than your potential obstacle of not being able to become a mom the old fashioned way.
Does a woman who cannot have kids provide any other value to a man in a relationship?
Without even reading past your opening post, and assuming it's already been said; of course!
A lot of men don't want children, and the ability to or not have them in no way lessens your value as a woman. If any culture implies otherwise, it is out-dated.
Does a woman who cannot have kids provide any other value to a man in a relationship?
I’m a woman in my early 30s with a genetic condition I don’t want to pass on (50% chance). Why would any sane man want to be with me if I can’t bear him children?
There are men out there who don't want kids. There are also men out there in their 30's who already have a child, and may not want another. There are also women out there who are capable of having kids, but choose not to.
OP the world is full of all kinds of people with a huge diversity of preferences as to what they want out of life.You're assuming everyone thinks alike. If the human race,and our little corner of it, is anything, it's diverse. You have tunnel vision, because you're focussing on what you perceive to be a huge flaw, which you're perceiving as a deficiency. You're thinking about this too negatively.
P.S. Women are much more than walking wombs. As fully self-actualized humans, they have much more to offer thet world. What else do you have to offer the world, OP? Anything? Have you ever thought about it? If not, the time has arrived to think about it. You're doing yourself and all of womankind an injustice by reducing us all to nothing more than our procreative capacity.
I just feel like I’m worthless to a man. I’ve been told I’m not suited for long term relationships because there’s no “return” for a man’s investment in me.
I’m just going to give up. Life isn’t worth living when you’re a woman in my position.
Whoever told you that is either (a) an idiot or (b) an emotionally abusive person. You don't need to, and shouldn't, listen to either of them. You have an inherent worth as a person and a woman. If a potential partner can't appreciate that worth, then they're not worthy of YOUR "investment" in THEM.
Certain people are more literal than others but it's got to be seeped in culture somewhere that part of being a woman means ability to produce children. I was happy as heck I didn't have to worry about birth control anymore during menopause but some women have a different experience. For them their identity as a woman takes a hit. Even women with children already feel a lose when they can no longer have another child. The OP hasn't given her feelings if she perceives this as a loss to herself.
Some said men dont have the fatherly love until they see the baby,unlike a woman.
I disagree men dont want children,most men when they reach a certain age,have a career and want to settle down,want to be Daddy !
Some said men dont have the fatherly love until they see the baby,unlike a woman.
I disagree men dont want children,most men when they reach a certain age,have a career and want to settle down,want to be Daddy !
This sad thread brought to mind a relative who was sort of the opposite. I can't recall how many times I listened to her harping about her determination not to have children that would tie her to some man. Eventually, she did end up in a very long term relationship, but she still refused formal marriage (pretty sure she wanted an easy exit) or to have kids. I happened to know her partner would have loved to be a dad someday, but because he also loved her, he acquiesced to her wishes.
Everything changed when she reached 40 and decided she was unfulfilled as a woman. I began hearing about that too. Suddenly, bearing a child was the only solution. Next thing I know, the two were formally married and over the next year, she was trying to get pregnant. Because of her age it turned into an obsession for her, but she finally bore a daughter. A few years later she decided she'd gotten all she wanted from the relationship, told her spouse she was leaving to "find more meaning in her life", and left him to raise his daughter by himself. Luckily, dad adored her from day one and has subsequently raised a pretty decent little person.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-20-2022 at 02:55 PM..
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