Retention of child in Wake County schools by parents choice (Salem: hotel, home)

[lj20]

We moved to Wake County a month after the start of the school year. One of our children finished 4th grade in another state last year. They had not started any school yet this year (the other state's schools hadn't started yet). With a September birthday, they were among the youngest in their class. As parents, we thought they would greatly benefit from being in the lower grade so they could be one of the oldest. This is due to many factors. Since we were moving to a new place where they didn't know any other children we asked the child about it. They were thrilled at the idea.

When we went to register for school, the principal refused. It was disappointing to us and to our child. But, we started them in school not knowing what else we could do. Now, a few weeks in to school we really regret not fighting it more.

We are in Wake County Schools. Does anybody have any advice on what we can do? Looking at grades and test scores overall, there is not sufficient academic justification to hold them back. I'd rather not home school or pay for private school. Could we talk to other principals and transfer to another school? Would going above the principal do any good? What can a parent do here?

This is NOT a question or thread about whether a particular child should be retained or not. This is about how to go about doing it.

Thanks.

[Sherifftruman]

No idea how it would work, but my parents considered it for me when I was a kid. Born mid September. I was smart, but had more social issues being the youngest kid in the class. I always felt more comfortable with other kids that were younger than I was pretty much through high school. I am sure I have ADD or some sort of learning disability also which of course in the mid to late 70s was not even thought about. I just never "lived up to my potential".

Probably similar to your child's situation, I tested fine. In fact, I usually tested in the upper 90's percentile-wise on the standardized tests they used then, so the justification was not solid on that side. Who knows if it would have made a huge difference or not, but I do wish they had done it. On the other hand, it is not like I turned into a monster or anything.

[lamishra]

I have heard from other parents that it is almost impossible to retain a child without academic justification. Sorry! I'm not sure what to tell you to do except be the squeaky wheel and keep pushing?

[MB1972]

I think it's pretty impossible. I know from friends whose child was actually struggling academically thatsthe schools are generally reluctant to retain a student. I think if the academics are fine, it would be even harder. Maybe schedule an appointment with the school counselor?

[twingles]

Yes, I would say it's nearly impossible.

Funny thing when we moved here we stayed in a hotel for a couple weeks. There was a family there in the same boat and their kids were the same ages as mine. So the mom and I got to talking, and it turned out the girl had a late fall b'day and had completed Kindy in their home state since she made the cutoff there. She didn't make the cutoff here and the school insisted she repeat kindy. Mom didn't fight it and a month into school the SCHOOL wanted to move the girl to first grade....which meant also changing tracks for all the kids. TOTALLY ridiculous!

I think the only hope you have is to try to transfer to a school where the grade you want to get into is underenrolled or has low enrollment. In a school that is at or near capacity you don't stand a chance. But I wouldn't count on it.

[C_Lan]

We didn't have a problem delaying our twins start by a year. They were due in Sept but were born two months early. With a birth date in July they could start as assigned and we struggled with it. We put them in Kindergarten and after a week decided to give them another year. Our thought was that they were already behind the 8-ball with the preemie related things that they had to overcome so there was no need to push them. We dematriculated them without a problem and they started the next year. WCPS system, Salem elementary.

[lamishra]

Starting them late in KG is not a problem. Holding them back in 4th grade is.

[boocake]

This is why we went ahead and held my DS back for kindergarten (started him a year late). When we were initially making the decision, so many parents said I should start him on time and that we could just repeat kindergarten if it didn't go well. Then I came across a parent who had tried to do just that, and we quickly found out that it is nearly impossible to voluntarily hold a child back a grade. Sorry I don't have a better answer -- just that I think your experience is unfortunately very common.

[roscomac]

You're asking the county to spend thousands of dollars to educate your child for an extra year when there is no academic indication for doing so. I certainly understand where you're coming from and believe that you know your child best. But if that is a decision you choose to make without an academic justification, you will likely have to bear that cost burden for yourself.

[lj20]

Fair point that I admit I hadn't considered. However thinking about it further, number of years in school wouldn't be the only factor determining financial impact to society. A quick google search provides studies showing significant economic impact by children and adolescents with various issues. I don't know whether there have been studies on how retention might affect those costs. It would be interesting to know.

And it would be interesting to know for our specific case what the two outcomes would be. Of course, there's no way to know that.