Moved Seattle to Cary, still homesick a year in - feel torn on moving back (Raleigh: cheap home, find a job)

[farebluenc]

Just move back to Seattle, or don't. North Carolina doesn't have to be your forever home and you wouldn't be the first person to move here who didn't feel like it was a good fit. It's not an idyllic utopia for everyone.

[barleygirl]

I say move back.

Seattle is SO different than the Raleigh area. I love it to visit but I would be in sever depression living there. I need blue skies and an ocean that is swimmable. So NC is perfect for me. Sounds like the opposite is true for you.

Lower cost of living and more money is nice but it doesn't = happiness. Like someone said above, you have to live for today.

But... it takes more than a year. My family hightailed it back "home" after just a year because we felt it wasn't home and we regretted it. Moving back to Chapel Hill this summer. Which btw isn't really rural.

[barleygirl]

severe*

[JONOV]

I don't have a great answer for you. I moved here from Minneapolis, and I miss my neighborhood in Uptown Minneapolis. Nothing in Raleigh compares. But, I don't mourn for it. Its in the past. My future is here.

I've visited Seattle and I can see how you would fall in love with the place. It was simply such a nice place to be, easy to fall in love with.

All of this area seems so much more suburban than other similar sized metros. When I first moved here, I missed being in my old neighborhood where people knew me, and where everything was within 10 blocks or so (all essentials really within 3 blocks.) There is nothing that really compares here. Cameron Village is the closest but its still a stretch. I miss the lakes in the City. I prefer the landscape there. I had trouble making friends like I had, for a handful of reasons, none of which has to do with this area.

I will also say, that I think that in general, we are as happy as we make our minds up to be. That is, of course, my opinion. I'm happy living in a Raleigh suburb, I was happy living in rural Minnesota, and happy living in urban Minneapolis, and happy living in the Chicago burbs, and could be happy in those places magain, or a studio apartment in NYC if I had to.

I know people that for health reasons (or just their psyche) cannot stand the heat or cold. Absent that, I don't totally get obsessions about weather one way or another. To me, it just "is." I adjusted to bitter, below zero cold and got outside and enjoyed it in the midwest, and I do the same with the awful heat here. I'll get sweaty. I'll take a shower. I'll feel better after getting sweaty and then taking a shower.

One other thing, and no one has mentioned it, so I'm going to.

Is it possible that you miss the life and lifestyle you had pre-children?
Friends, activities, hobbies...

An adult kickball league in Seattle isn't going to be notably more fun than a kickball league in Raleigh. Your Crossfit gym in Seattle that had a cool group of people to work out with, is only something you'll recapture if you continue to have time to enjoy that and live right there in the neighborhood and can access it between work and parenting.

Friendships you make will be different too...You're now, to a certain extent, always going to be "Aiden's Mom," and here, as opposed to elsewhere, there is no one that knew you pre-parenthood. And, you're older, so the friendships are likely to be different regardless, than the friendships you create when you're in your early twenties.

I know that there are things I won't/can't enjoy the same way (that often i don't have as much access to here) as a married professional in my thirties that I could as a 23 year old. I once worked as a bouncer at a rather rough joint in MPLS. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the characters, and hustlers, and bikers and looneys that would come into the bar, and BS'ing with them. Its unlikely that I'll ever enjoy that again. It is what it is. Do I miss the tangible things about my old building with a walk score of 98, or other things that may be best left in the past?

Will you be able to enjoy Seattle as you did when you were younger and your kid was younger? Will a condo be a hassle for y'all? What if you want another child, or one just happens?

[Dire Wolf]

Originally Posted by RedZin

I dislike driving down Hwy 55, for example. (Note: I am from here originally)

I really, really dislike 55. It's depressing and dreary and about the ugliest road in the Triangle to me.

So, yeah... maybe find a new route to work? If you cannot avoid blah stuff going there, find another place to work that is nearer to something more scenic and/or visually appealing?

55 definitely has some fugly stretches (Salem to US1 in Apex and Sedwick to at least Corwalis in Durham near RTP being among the worst). But I don't know that anything is as bad as Capital Blvd from Peace Street to at least Durant. That is one massive stretch of ugly road.

I had two really ugly commutes in my career, and both times I'd quite often skip the optimal commute (time wise) and take a much longer commute through secondary country roads to avoid the blight.

[myname_isborat]

Not to beat a dead hourse but Cary reminds me of the eastside of Seattle. That is the burbs of Seattle. What is different exactly? It's green but flat, there are lakes, you have to drive to get anywhere, the public schools are better than in the city. It's Cary with more traffic but way more expensive. There are lovely swimable beaches, mountains, and world class cities within driving distance of this area, it has it all.

[JONOV]

Originally Posted by Shadesofkray

As for here I struggle with the landlock feel, the brown, the urban sprawl

Originally Posted by Shadesofkray

It might sound silly but over a year in and it still bugs me that so much of the interstate sides / exits are littered with trash.

I just wanted to mention about how different people have different perspectives. While NC isn't known for being exceptionally clean, I noticed way less litter and trash on the roadsides than the Midwest. I think it has to do with the lack of snow hoarding trash til it melts leaving it all right there.

And, I noticed how green it is here, as opposed to seeing more browns elsewhere. I also like the flowers/flowering trees.

[poppydog]

Originally Posted by Shadesofkray
As for here I struggle with the landlock feel, the brown, the urban sprawl

See, that doesn't make sense to me why you would want to live in Cary instead of in Chapel Hill if that's an option. Not sure what kind of job you have in Holly Springs and if it's even possible to move to a different location, but if your husband's job is in Chapel Hill and you don't like urban sprawl and then Chapel Hill seems like a much better fit if you're looking to avoid sprawl.

[ucctgg]

Originally Posted by drrckmtthws

First what do you like to do? What are things you consider fun? Also how much have you explored? I asked because it sounds like you really haven't been exploring(the triangle) if the occasional comedy show and DT Park is pretty much it.

Also since you said you are into scenery, don't let comparisons(this place doesn't match this place) stop you from venturing out to what is here.

Bond Park (which connects to both the black creek and white oak greenways)

Lake Pine at Apex Community Park basically both in Cary and Apex

Jordan Lake


Lake Crabtree


Japanese gardens at the duke gardens in Durham


Lassiter Falls


.

To me, those photos are much prettier than the actual places.

[ucctgg]

Originally Posted by poppydog

See, that doesn't make sense to me why you would want to live in Cary instead of in Chapel Hill if that's an option. Not sure what kind of job you have in Holly Springs and if it's even possible to move to a different location, but if your husband's job is in Chapel Hill and you don't like urban sprawl and then Chapel Hill seems like a much better fit if you're looking to avoid sprawl.

She said: "we like it there, but too rural feeling".