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If they wanted to live in the actual Triangle area....they should have moved there. They saw what they wanted in Johnson County, purchased there.
One of the things we SAW was the proximity to RALEIGH and all the TRIANGLE offerings. Nobody bothered to mention that Clayton residents were EXCLUDED from taking part in "Triangle" activities. I guess we were supposed to just KNOW all about the "Triangle" and that Clayton wasn't included?
But, no - we'd rather let a stupid line on a map determine the people who you are allowed to hang out with.
It's pathetic territorialism, and it IS small minded.
She's already decided that she's going to look for a more welcoming group. I just find it quite sad that this particular group finds it necessary to exclude someone WHO WOULD PREFER TO DO THINGS IN RALEIGH, and send her to join a group that isn't even centered where she wants to be.
Why not let the mommies who WANT to hang out with the Johnston group hang out there, and let those who WANT to hang out in the triangle hang out there.
Why do we have to keep setting up these artificial boundaries?
It's pathetic territorialism, and it IS small minded.
Im sorry you feel that way, but it is your perspective and not the intent of the moms group. Like others pointed out the area you live in has it's own seperate offshoot of the same national moms group. It is smaller than triangle one, but the triangle one started small as well. The group is based off of meeting local moms in your nearby areas. It helps to promote creating friendships with moms nearby your area of residence.
If Clayton has a group, though small, who says it will not grow? And your wife has the perfect opportunity to join when it is small, create some fantastic friendships AND help her particular site grow by promoting it to other new moms to the area.
Quote:
One of the things we SAW was the proximity to RALEIGH and all the TRIANGLE offerings.
this may be true for generalization, but that does not mean every single group needs to be available to every single general area near the triangle. Heck they have an Apex Moms group, and no one from other towns can join? Is it small minded? No. They are just offering an even smaller niche of finding moms to get get together, and make friends.
Instead of railing against how unfair this is your wife has an awesome opportunity ahead of her if she is willing, in helping your areas local moms group grow. Half glass is full, you know?
Just another thought. Does bigger always mean better? Sometimes I prefer a smaller group to foster closer relationships with others especially if you aren't such an outgoing personality. I know I prefer my smaller religious community here in NC to the larger more established one up north. I feel like I have a much better relationship with everyone whereas up north I was just another face not too many people paid attention to. With a big group some people may be intimidated by it and get 'lost in the sauce'.
Best bet is to stay away from these organized womans groups. Bottom line is, although they would not admit it, they have a self administered social hierarchy. Pretty much an extension of high school. Everyone wants to hang out with the cool kid.
Better off going to the local park or getting involved at school.
I'll disagree with that sentiment, but then again it is all a matter of perspective. I live in the triangle and found the group in question before I had moved but knew where I would be. Coming from out of state I knew no one in the area and used the site both as a way to meet local women who were also moms as a way to make friends for myself and my children. They also have provided an untold wealth of information to the area, just like City data does, but geared more towards stuff for families. There are also support groups within the group for parents dealing with special needs, different styles of parenting, and other ways to view life.
Like any social circle you find some women attract towards others, but this is dpendant on how you view life and raising a family. It is how one finds friends, by finding others with similiar values. This is the case on all social circles. I have made a couple of fantastic friends who helped me be able to call this place home now. And I will admit it helps tremendously these women are nearby enough for us to get together quite often, with or without our children. The negativity on differing views is limited with the knowledge that it is not an anonymous net group, but a place you actually WILL meet other moms from the area.
I can sympathize with the OPs wife on how hard it is to move down here, a mom, trying to make connections with like minded moms. And I sympathize that her local group is smaller than the triangles local group. At the same time I can also understand the groups geographical decisions in why it does what it does. It is not to deny access to the group as a whole nor on a whim, but to promote connections within their specific areas. since the Clayton area already has it's own local chapter, it is the right decision to help promote that local chapter. In the long run the local chapters are all part of a whole network.
I do hope the OPs wife reconsiders and decides to at least check out her local group. Joining this group was a huge positive for me when I moved down, gave me a sense of kinship with others I never would have met on my own, and gave me more access to inside information to help settle in. I think if she was willing to try her local chapter she may be surprised and happy to find other fantastic women out there ready to offer their hand in friendship.
One of the things we SAW was the proximity to RALEIGH and all the TRIANGLE offerings. Nobody bothered to mention that Clayton residents were EXCLUDED from taking part in "Triangle" activities. I guess we were supposed to just KNOW all about the "Triangle" and that Clayton wasn't included?
But, no - we'd rather let a stupid line on a map determine the people who you are allowed to hang out with.
It's pathetic territorialism, and it IS small minded.
She's already decided that she's going to look for a more welcoming group. I just find it quite sad that this particular group finds it necessary to exclude someone WHO WOULD PREFER TO DO THINGS IN RALEIGH, and send her to join a group that isn't even centered where she wants to be.
Why not let the mommies who WANT to hang out with the Johnston group hang out there, and let those who WANT to hang out in the triangle hang out there.
Why do we have to keep setting up these artificial boundaries?
I agree. I think Johnston County should have to pay Wake County taxes as well. It's just discrimination against them that they don't. These county lines are just so small-minded.
According to a local mommies group that's name would appear to be open to the people in the general area, Clayton is "too far" from the Triangle for my wife to be accepted as a member.
Apparently GARNER is ok, as is Fuquay Varina. But Clayton isn't.
Even Orange County is part of their area. But because we're in Johnston County, my wife isn't permitted to join a decent sized group of other mothers for social interaction, because we're "too far" away.
Fuquay Varina to Raleigh: 17 miles
Hillsborough to Durham: 17 miles
Mebane (in Orange Co) to Chapel Hill: 24 miles
Clayton to Raleigh: 17 miles
But Clayton is "too far", because it's not in the right county???
Ultimately, I suppose she's better off NOT being a part of this group, if that's their attitude - but really, what the hell?!?!
In all fairness, she was referred to a Johnston County mommies group - but the "Triangle" group has over 2000 registered members, while the Johnston group has only 200. But because she lives "too far" from the triangle, she can't be a part of the larger group where she's more likely to meet friends with similar interests. And of course, nevermind the fact that she actually spends more of her time IN Raleigh. We're "too far".
What small-minded BS.
(Yes, I'm angry!)
I don't think Johnston County has ever been considered part of "The Triangle" - isn't it technically Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill???
I'd think Clayton could probably be considered the furthest west town of "Eastern North Carolina" sort of a western outpost of the group of cities like Wilson, Goldsboro, Rocky Mount.
It's JohnsTon county people (NotSerge) with a "T" not Johnson county. If ya' gonna disrespect it, at least say it right!
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