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Of course you have a choice. You could live your own life and not worry about what mommy and daddy want. It's an option.
"Carrying on the bloodlines" is not a good reason to get married, especially if it feels like an obligation. It sounds like you're making excuses to cover for your secret wish for the "happily ever after" dream to come true. Sounds like you might be a closet romantic.
Easier said than done. No one likes disappointing their parents, especially as an only child.
And no, trust me, I'm far from a closet romantic. As I said before, I'm cool with having a gf or whatever, but marriage and being with one person for decades never really appealed to me. If it were up to me, I'd find a woman to have my child without marriage involved and I'd do my best to take care of the child while still doing my own thing (without a wife).
Last edited by bicoastal10; 07-15-2012 at 04:21 PM..
The OP isn't the only guy here to express this concern. Who knew it was a guy thing? You learn something every day at C-D.
In real life it's not really a guy thing to worry about this. It's a thing for guys who don't have options. Most men at 29 aren't fretting about not being married bc most think that they still have options. And most do still have options so why would they worry.
A ton of relationships break down at the 1.5 year mark so you really shouldn't propose marriage until the relationship survives that. Then say another .5 years before that's all wrapped up. So if you are doing things right (aka in a way that minimizes divorce risk) that's 2 years. Then, ~1.5 years for each kid you want to have. At around 35 or so a decent part of the population needs medical help to conceive....so if you want to meet that timetable and have multiple kids you're looking at a girl who is about 29-31 at the oldest. Now, a guy can date younger, but, at a certain point that becomes less feasible unless you are very rich or very good looking. Thus, as a guy you only have until 34-35 before putting together a family gets substantially more difficult. So it's pretty easy to understand how the "Wow, I'm turning 30 and single" moment would be jarring even to a dude.
But a good number of women are waiting until their mid to late 30s to have children bc they're developing their careers.
What are you doing to meet someone? I married later and met my husband on match.com. I have a cousin who is a doctor and met his wife on an on-line dating site. Why don't you try some on-line dating sites and clubs for singles. Also join clubs that you have an interest in. If you like hiking join a single hiking club, you may meet someone who also likes the same hobby you like. Try meetup.com where people get together for different purposes. Maybe you'll meet someone maybe you won't but you will have fun. Maybe you could start your own meet up club for singles in your area. Remember no one is going to come to your door except the mail person. If you really want to get married you have to put effort into it just like you do your career. Good luck.
What are you doing to meet someone? I married later and met my husband on match.com. I have a cousin who is a doctor and met his wife on an on-line dating site. Why don't you try some on-line dating sites and clubs for singles. Also join clubs that you have an interest in. If you like hiking join a single hiking club, you may meet someone who also likes the same hobby you like. Try meetup.com where people get together for different purposes. Maybe you'll meet someone maybe you won't but you will have fun. Maybe you could start your own meet up club for singles in your area. Remember no one is going to come to your door except the mail person. If you really want to get married you have to put effort into it just like you do your career. Good luck.
4sunflowers
Yea, I don't know how anyone can still be having a tough time meeting someone with all the online dating these days. I understand people had a tough time meeting people past a certain age back in the 70s/80s/90s, but there's too any resources these days to still have a problem (assuming one actually makes an effort).
What are you doing to meet someone? I married later and met my husband on match.com. I have a cousin who is a doctor and met his wife on an on-line dating site. Why don't you try some on-line dating sites and clubs for singles. Also join clubs that you have an interest in. If you like hiking join a single hiking club, you may meet someone who also likes the same hobby you like. Try meetup.com where people get together for different purposes. Maybe you'll meet someone maybe you won't but you will have fun. Maybe you could start your own meet up club for singles in your area. Remember no one is going to come to your door except the mail person. If you really want to get married you have to put effort into it just like you do your career. Good luck.
4sunflowers
Bicoastal (unlike the OP) seems ambivalent about marriage. Maybe his parents could arrange one.
Clubs and meetup groups have been suggested to the OP, but he's declined requests to tell us what effort he's actually making to meet women.
Dude, why in the hell would you want to get married? Are you a sadomasochist? What is it about marriage that appeals to you? Being broke? Dealing with some bitchy, stupid wife everyday? Not having freedom to do anything? Having sex with the same women for years?
Forget this marriage BS, go live your life, keep working on yourself and when the time comes, you will find someone.
And don't go on these online dating crap websites, you will find mostly bottom of the barrel women who are desperate to trap some innocent guy like you. Forget this idea!
Dude, why in the hell would you want to get married? Are you a sadomasochist? What is it about marriage that appeals to you? Being broke? Dealing with some bitchy, stupid wife everyday?
Why would anyone marry someone bitchy and stupid? Anyone stupid enough to make a choice like that deserves what they get.
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