Going out without your s/o - how much is too much? (dates, how to)
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Zones out on the computer all the time and ignores you on Fri and Sat nights? No way. Jerk with a capital J and if he can't put on some big boy pants and hang out with you and your friends then he will have to suck it up and be alone while you have fun.
Maybe eventually he will pack up and leave while you're gone and you can replace him with someone who actually gives a crap about you.
I don't consider myself lucky at all. I never thought it was possible to be in a relationship and still feel so damned lonely.
Sorry to hear you feel smothered though.
Well,,,,,,,, there is this one experiment ya know.. You could remove a lot of clothing and go get the bo, and if that don't work if I were you I would just up and leave.
If that doesn't gain any attention, then nothing will. A sure sign of leaving won't make a bit of diff to the guy. He is tuned in and uptight with his jive box and that's all there is Folks.
I kill a lot of time chattin up folks myself, but when my bride of 17 years i guess it is now pulls that stunt the pc goes off. Otherwise I am at pesterin her. Thing is we are best friends while we are legally spouses. I owe her Dad for not raising prudes, since he had 4 daughters, and no sons.
Really going to important engagments like weddings is moot with out yer Bo, and if he can't deal with that sort of thing he is asking to be dead in the head. An old man before his time, something I will never be.
I act a fool here because I fear nothing. I will be 59 and still can out do most any 20 something at anything in my weight catagory which in summer is 145 pounds.
I play chase the filley in the field out back and my wife is that filley. So far she don't run very fast either.
Seems to me this chump is a brainer gone dead. You need a guy that loves life. He isn't the one.
You need to admit to yourself that you and your SO are at different places in life. Yes, the 15 year age difference is part of it, but not all. He does not feel the need to go out or to please you. You, on the other hand, spend an awful lot of time worrying about pleasing him, and you enjoy going out. You should do what you choose and enjoy life. He should also be able to stay home, if that is what he chooses. You need to find someone with the same interests and energy level as yourself, so that you will be happy.
To answer your question, no, I don't think you are in the wrong. It's family, for Pete's sake. And once every other week isn't a lot, to me anyways. You invite him to a girl's night out? Why?
I have to agree with the others. Your bore-friend is a loser. Can him.
I think it depends on the couple . Some people need their space a lot more than others. If you are inviting your SO to go out with you and your cousin and he declines then I think you are entitled to go out to be honest as you have tried to include him. It then becomes his problem. If you are going out without him every week end though without him then I suppose it becomes maybe a little more of an issue.
I wouldn't feel too bad as you have tried to include him but maybe make the occasional gesture and stay in once in a while. To be honest the issue seems to be that you may have vastly different needs and requirements and this may become a problem. There is nothing wrong with being a home-body or you being an out-going gregarious person but you might not be the best match for each other.
Hubby and I pretty much spend all of our free time together ( with or without friends) but it suits us BOTH , neither of us is losing out because of it and I think that is the real issue. He even prefers me to come with him on his business travel wherever possible so we tend to do all our socialising and pursue all our interests together. That is what we both enjoy though.
If you have such varying expectations of a relationship then I believe resentment will eventually eat at you and I would personally broach the subject to your BF in an adult, non confrontational manner to see whether you can come to a compromise which will satisfy you both. Better to sort it out now rather than let it grow and fester when it will become an insurmountable problem. Most people do need time apart but it has to be managed so as not to engender resentment and anger.
I will bypass the "venting boyfriend" threads of yours in future. Why bother giving advice to a deaf ear.
Hehe fair enough.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
You invite him to a girl's night out? Why?
I've never invited him to a girls night out. If you recall my original post said Other than things like girls nights out, he is always invited to come with me but he ALWAYS declines.
Last edited by *VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*; 06-23-2010 at 05:19 PM..
I lkike my peace and quiet plenty, and tend to be alone most of the time. My garden or motorcycle riding allow me that. But even at 58 years my wife of 48 I still get roped into long distance vists with her fairly large family, all no less than 500 miles away one way.
There is no not going for me even if I wanted that, and besides i get to hear women complain about hunters whilst stuffin their faces with things like fowl, and meats at the very same time. That is always ammusing to me, and I can get absolutley tanked and argue back, since I could care aless what anyone thinks about what I think in the first place. But to not go is not any option.
I don't have much need for in my face friends or people in general. Unless someone shares a in common with me then they don't make much fun anyway.
Not that many people are into making maple syrup either, so no one comes to feed the fire, or add sap to my rig either. I am fine that way, and don't care and still will serve up pancakes on a whim to allow many for their very first time to taste the real stuff.
When I do have friends around which usually come far, they get treated like Kings and Queens. Nothing is too much for them.
This guy in this discussion is addicted to the PC or is a dead beat couch potatoe. Plain and simple.
This guy in this discussion is addicted to the PC or is a dead beat couch potatoe. Plain and simple.
I think it is a bit of both.
He is a 45 year old man who still rents, has never married and has no children. When we met (he was 36) he didn't even have a car. Of course at the time being so young and lovestruck as I was, none of that mattered to me.
He is definitely lazy and doesn't like responsibility. I am lazy too, but when it comes to the weekends I like to make the most of the 2 measly days we have off. We go out shopping during the day, but never go out at night.
Then there is the other side of him - the guy who has a heart as big as a house. Just yesterday we were both off sick from work and he took care of me all day, running around and getting me things, making sure I was ok and completely forgetting about himself. When I said to him "hon, you don't have to do all of this" he said "I want to. I love you."
Do you see why it's so impossible for me to decide what's right? What girl doesn't want to hear something like THAT?! ^^
Last edited by *VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*; 06-23-2010 at 06:00 PM..
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I need a woman to bandage me up for work at least once a week!
Any takers?LOL.........
