Is feeling suicidal afer a break up normal after a breakup? (boyfriend, how to)
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I don't think it's normal but i guess it can be painful especially if you don;t see it coming.Let me give you some advice though don't go out desperately looking for someonelse.A lot of women do this and end up feeling worse because they rush into the first guy to come along..Hangout with some of your girlfriends or family for a while and wait until you are ready and you have found the right person as well..Don't start thinking all men are the same either because you will never be able to build a healthy relationship..
Great advice! I was so upset after one breakup that I did exactly this. For a long time, I just went from one guy to another with no breaks in between. None of them were good for me and I ended up feeling more hurt after each guy. When I eventually stopped and took a break, my self-esteem was in the gutter. I know this sounds completely ridiculous, but I think I still have some feelings of insecurity that are directly related to a stupid, overly dramatic breakup that happened ten years ago.
I also regret always prioritizing guys over maintaining friendships. Having loyal friends around during my transition(s) probably would have made things a little easier.
My ex fiancee of 5 years left me almost 1 year ago. I remember that the first couple of months after the breakup I thought about taking my own life. It was the first time in my life that I ever had these thoughts. Deep down I knew that I would never follow through with this and the thoughts subsided after a while. Thinking back at those times I am astonished at myself. I was just wondering if these thoughts of suicide are normal for someone to have after the end of a relationship?
Yes, unfortunately some people cannot take as much as others and fall into a deep state of depression. Let's face it, having the strength to remain rugged isn't the easiest at times. The true test is how you can get back to your feet after a life altering event. Sometimes it is what you really enjoy about your life that can keep you going or take it away. Don't do it, things change as seen here!
Man, I know this guy who is/was super nice. Unfortunately for him, he was born into not so great circumstances/family. The guy is/was the type who is/was always doing for others. He was/is an extremely good looking guy, too! He always went with his heart, and always chose mates with his eyes closed...
In recent years, he was unhappy and lonely. He met a woman and fell in love with her. It was during a time he'd lost a bunch of family members to death, family troubles (alcoholism), etc. He was so happy again! They seemed a perfect match.
He confided 100% in this woman. She promised him she would never leave him. She declared her undying love. That woman knew he was not in good shape emotionally, and that another loss might push him over the edge. Well, guess what? Yup! She dumped him. Even after the guy begged and pleaded, she still dumped him and would not even talk to him. She had used him, and when she had gotten what she wanted, she threw him away like a paper bag. He became suicidal, and came very close to ending it all...
But thankfully, many of the remaining folks he had helped throughout the years rallied around him and got him through it. He remains a shell of who he was to this day, but we are all hoping he'll snap out of it. The guy has it all! He has personality, looks, and heart. Maybe one day he'll get what he deserves. He deserves happiness! You couldn't find a nicer, more lovable guy.
Sometimes, life can be positively 100% unfair to some people. Why? Heck if I know!! But what I do know, is that many of us (his friends) would be in a world of hurt if he didn't stick around and stick it out to the end. He is THAT important to our lives.
Last edited by picklejuice; 07-03-2010 at 05:55 PM..
Man, I know this guy who is/was super nice. Unfortunately for him, he was born into not so great circumstances/family. The guy is/was the type who is/was always doing for others. He was/is an extremely good looking guy, too! He could have had any gal he wanted. But, he always went with his heart, and chose with his eyes closed...
In recent years, he was unhappy and lonely. He met a woman and fell in love with her. It was during a time he'd lost a bunch of family members to death, family troubles (alcoholism) etc. He confided 100% in this woman. She promised him she would never leave him. She declared her undying love. That woman knew he was not in good shape emotionally, and that another loss might push him over the edge. Well, guess what? Yup! She dumped him. Even after the guy begged and pleaded, she still dumped him and would not even talk to him. She had used him, and when she had gotten what she wanted, she threw him away like a paper bag. He became suicidal, and came very close to ending it all...
But thankfully, many of the remaining folks he had helped throughout the years rallied around him and got him through it. He remains a shell of who he was to this day, but we are all hoping he'll snap out of it. The guy has it all! He has personality, looks, and heart. Maybe one day he'll get what he deserves. He deserves happiness! You couldn't find a nicer, more lovable guy.
His problem was that he was not ready for a relationship. He probably felt that the woman would be a panacea for him, but even an SO doesn't owe us happiness. we owe that to ourselves.
His problem was that he was not ready for a relationship. He probably felt that the woman would be a panacea for him, but even an SO doesn't owe us happiness. we owe that to ourselves.
He loved her wholeheartedly. This, I know. The problem was SHE was a user. She had zero intention on following through with any of her promises.
Happiness in any relationship/life usually comes from having good relationships that are based on mutual love, respect, honesty, and goals.
PS. Circumstances CAN and WILL make a difference in whether you're happy or not.
I doubt the people put in concentration camps back in WW2 were "happy"
And, would you expect them to "make"/ create their own happiness under the circumstances???
That argument has never jived with me.
Last edited by picklejuice; 07-03-2010 at 06:14 PM..
What your feeling may be the pain in your heart of loving someone and having to forcefully move on. Often, relationships last longer then they really should because people know they just aren't working out, yet, they aren't ready to let go for one reason or another ... Often fear of being a lone, or what if they don't find someone else, or maybe, they're hoping the other person will change. People don't change. Not unless they themselves want to change for them. You can't change for someone else, you will only grow to resent that person at a later time-
This statement is so true. Especially the last part about growing resentment for a person. This happened to me in my last relationship, and I am still not over the resentment. I expected this person to change and that was a big mistake on my part and by letting it last so much longer than it should have, now I am also angry with myself. Knowing that this person knew they should have changed but they didn't make an effort to change and that cost the relationship, and now resentment also. I blame myself also because I did not know how to go about handling the situation I had never dealt with it before. And now my heart is full of anger and I do not know how to get rid of it and move on, but I am sure it will happen hopefully sooner than later.....
He loved her wholeheartedly. This, I know. The problem was SHE was a user. She had zero intention on following through with any of her promises.
Happiness in any relationship/life usually comes from having good relationships that are based on mutual love, respect, honesty, and goals.
PS. Circumstances CAN and WILL make a difference in whether you're happy or not.
I doubt the people put in concentration camps back in WW2 were "happy"
And, would you expect them to "make"/ create their own happiness under the circumstances???
That argument has never jived with me.
You can't compare a relationship to a concentration camp.
If someone is not emotionally mature enough to handle the break-up of a relationship, they are not mature enough for a relationship.
Relationships don't all last - that's just life and not the end of the world. It's fine to feel a little sad, a little hurt but you move on. Otherwise you could justify stalkers, or those who become violent during a break up, you could say they loved too much, wholeheartedly, etc. In other words, it's not all about "you" in a relationship, if the other has decided to move on, then you do also.
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