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The majority of our childed co-workers didn't have that option. They didn't have the savings, couldn't afford to let health benefits lapse for their family, and faced a pretty rough economy in that time with few prospects for finding jobs. They, with a lot of resignation and resentment, moved.
Oh, boy, do I ever know a lot of couples like that. And most of them are divorced, with only few exceptions. One of the spouses just reaches the tipping point after being hauled all over the country and says "see ya." One of my close friends is going through that after five moves in 16 years.
What's even scarier is knowing couples who are still paying off the expense of actually having children (hospital bills, braces, surgeries, etc.) and the kids are almost out of the house. Once you meet parents who've amassed 40K in child debt, that's a really brutal reality check.
What's even scarier is knowing couples who are still paying off the expense of actually having children (hospital bills, braces, surgeries, etc.) and the kids are almost out of the house. Once you meet parents who've amassed 40K in child debt, that's a really brutal reality check.
Yeah, sing it.
Spouse works in the financial sector. Five or six years ago, we saw the writing on the wall. Watching the housing boom, I was the opposite of everyone else and felt total horror - "ohmygawd, this is going to be bad when it crashes." We started preparing even back then: stopped any unnecessary spending, paid off the house and all other debt, tucked everything into savings. I tried, in a way to not sound like nagging, to dissuade a couple of my younger co-workers from going the route of two mortgages/flexible APR schemes to buy a house (one for the down payment/one for the principle), but they poohed my suggestions. One was getting married, the other was expecting their first child - getting a house was the route they were supposed to take, in their minds. That they'd be stretching their incomes for this was fine; they were young and optimistic. My lectures about living through the horrible economy of the 70s sailed right over their heads. They weren't even born in that time, that sort of thing would never happen again, and if it did, they'd survive - after all, I did, even if I'm a gloom monger about it.
Today, with everything gone into the toilet, those young folks will never be out of debt unless they win the lottery or tighten their belts to the effect that their belly buttons hit their backbones. One depends on handouts from his parents to even feed his family, what with the house debt, minivan payments, assorted child-related costs ...
And, in the case of Spouse and myself, I think we've made a contribution by being CF . The bank Spouse works for is to merge with another. To keep his job, he was told he'd have to commute to Big City, where the job will be relocated. That would be a 120 miles, round trip. His decision: "pffft. no way. I'm 60. Give my job to a younger person who really needs it. No debt/no kids/a modest lifestyle. We'll survive on savings and the Social Security I'm eligible for in a few years." I'm of the same view, though I'm a decade younger. I've been in the work force 30+ years. That I have the resources to bail from the corporate drudgery just means that a younger person - probably one with a family - can have my job and be welcome to it.
Last edited by silverwing; 08-20-2010 at 05:15 AM..
My sister and her husband are in their early 50's and just retired to a very sunny lovely location. She also got really bothered by the fact that everyone always expected them to have kids. They seem to be enjoying a pretty good life.. They charted a life path and then followed it. They both did not want the responsibility associated with having children. I don't think anybody needs to guilt because they want this lifestyle. Afterall no one lives lives your life but you, so enjoy and be happy.
I don't know, maybe go to that hangout called-"Barnes and Nobles"
You decided that this was going to be one of your plans well over a year ago and obviously that never panned out. You've never shown even a slight literary bent so it was a bit of a daft thought anyway.
35 years old, only three dates in at least the last two plus years so I wouldn't look at this current "dream" of being anything other than that. Just another aimless Grasshopper thread. Sigh.
Its toooo late for me. Ive lived diwk and siwk. Kids are grown now, but not gone! Sometime I think how nice to have real nice things, extra money and be able to travel at the drop of a hat or go out every night with a SO. Then I think some more and realize how lonely it can be, especially if things arent so great with the SO and how much I really do enjoy family. Although it can be challenging, the love and companionship I share with my sons and their gfs and my grandkids means more to me than material things, vacations and fancy dinners.
Yeah, I'll admit that I'd be wary of having kids if I wasn't certain that my family would be financially secure enough for it. I still can't imagine not having Christmases where I see my kids run down the stairs all wide-eyed, excited to see what's sitting under the tree. It sounds cheesy but it is what it is.
Yeah, I'll admit that I'd be wary of having kids if I wasn't certain that my family would be financially secure enough for it. I still can't imagine not having Christmases where I see my kids run down the stairs all wide-eyed, excited to see what's sitting under the tree. It sounds cheesy but it is what it is.
I suppose I'm a bit of a fence-sitter. I'd consider a kid or two IF I met the right person and I felt my situation was conducive to raising a kid the way I would want to do it. (I ain't birthin' no babies if I'm broke!)
I have to admit, though, watching my 2 year old niece get WAY too excited about eating grapes for dinner last night made even MY b*tch face smile. LOL
You decided that this was going to be one of your plans well over a year ago and obviously that never panned out. You've never shown even a slight literary bent so it was a bit of a daft thought anyway.
35 years old, only three dates in at least the last two plus years so I wouldn't look at this current "dream" of being anything other than that. Just another aimless Grasshopper thread. Sigh.
The only way the OP will be a DINK is if he gets two jobs instead of just one.
This is the first time I've ever heard of a DINK before. I don't have children but I also don't have a wife or significant other. I guess that makes me just a half DINK. I guess I'll need to think about that for awhile.
This is the first time I've ever heard of a DINK before. I don't have children but I also don't have a wife or significant other. I guess that makes me just a half DINK. I guess I'll need to think about that for awhile.
It makes you a SINK
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. The bank Spouse works for is to merge with another. To keep his job, he was told he'd have to commute to Big City, where the job will be relocated. That would be a 120 miles, round trip. His decision: "pffft. no way. I'm 60. Give my job to a younger person who really needs it. No debt/no kids/a modest lifestyle. We'll survive on savings and the Social Security I'm eligible for in a few years." I'm of the same view, though I'm a decade younger. I've been in the work force 30+ years. That I have the resources to bail from the corporate drudgery just means that a younger person - probably one with a family - can have my job and be welcome to it.
