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From My point of view, i think sex should happen when you both want to, you both want to when you really appriciate each other and want to make each other happy. If you want it on a daily basis, it loses it taste. People are different, you cant make her/him have sex, unless she/he wants it. Try to look deeper.
I agree that quality beats quantity. I don't want to have sex so often to the point where it becomes mechanical or loses taste.
Looking deeper: I just want to feel that my wife finds me attractive and desirable. I just want, above all, to feel that she thinks I'm a good person who
makes life better just by being around.
My thought is that you're not seeing this situation from your wife's point of view as well as you could. First of all, she works full-time. That's exhausting enough. Secondly, you have a toddler. Combine both those responsibilities and your wife is probably exhausted and would rather focus on getting quality sleep than having sex. Why can't you be more patient with her and focus on non-sexual avenues of affection/touching for several months? Why can't the focus be on dating/putting the spark back into the marriage? Why does sex have to be a priority right now? Sometimes when you're stressed and juggling so many things at once the thought of actual sex is just too much. Why not work on having a date night once a week, and just cuddling/holding hands, and not having the expectation of more for awhile?
If two people want to have sex there's ALWAYS time and there's always a place no matter how tired you are..... LOL. And I just read an article that said research has concluded that having intercourse strengthens the bond between two people and it's recommended that people who want to have a good relationship have sex often even if they don't feel like it!! According to the article, once you get going most are glad they did Based on my experience, I would agree with that! I am unsympathetic to all the women out there who stop having sex with their husbands after having kids, it's just plain ridiculous for the most part.
... She said if I was good, we might have sex. That hit too close to home. ...
Sometimes as a guy if you want intimacy, then you gotta wear the collar, heel, roll-over, play dead and what ever tricks she wants first before you get the 'treat'.
If two people want to have sex there's ALWAYS time and there's always a place no matter how tired you are..... LOL. And I just read an article that said research has concluded that having intercourse strengthens the bond between two people and it's recommended that people who want to have a good relationship have sex often even if they don't feel like it!! According to the article, once you get going most are glad they did Based on my experience, I would agree with that! I am unsympathetic to all the women out there who stop having sex with their husbands after having kids, it's just plain ridiculous for the most part.
It is ridiculous ,you're right..but there has to be a reason that she feels that way.Maybe , instead of trying to figure out whats "wrong" with her ,the husband should be looking at what's wrong with him??Has he even tried to help his wife get in the mood, has he made her feel desirable to him???Maybe she wants love , not some quick "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" sex. I've known married men who take mistresses, and say they have a great time, all the sex they want.Lets not forget that these mistresses are always wined and dined, have no kids to care for, have gifts given to them, and are totally apreciated for what they do....Can you say the same for the wife?????
I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long.
Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song.
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed.
And in the personals column, there was this letter I read:
"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
I'm the lady you've looked for, write to me, and escape."
I didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean.
But me and my old lady, had fallen into the same old dull routine.
So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad.
And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half-bad.
"Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne.
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape.
At a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape."
So I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place.
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face.
It was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh, it's you."
And we laughed for a moment, and I said, "I never knew"..
"That you liked Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."
"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."
I think there's a lot of over-analyzing on this thread. Mis-matched sex drives are a huge problem in marriages, and some of the time, it's the husbands who have the far lower sex drive than the wives. It's just a fact of life. Sex drives are all over the map. Some people have naturally rapacious drives, others have little or no sex drive throughout their lives.
The OP says his wife has a low sex drive. Changing someone's libido is next to impossible, unless it's a male with a low sex drive and then testosterone gels/injections can improve things. For women, it's more complicated.
It's all an excuse if a wife claims, "I'm too tired for sex" or "kids impede things." That's all just B.S. I am a female who works 40 hours a week and we have sex frequently at 4:00 am. We make the time for it because it's important to us both. Unless someone has the flu or is going through a terrible emotional ordeal (been fired, mom died), then making excuses to avoid sex is just that: excuses. I've been married 20 years and have said "no" to my husband for sex maybe 5 times. These women constantly saying no are selfish and have limited interest in their marriage or their husbands.
There are literally millions of threads on the Internet about one spouse having a low libido and the higher drive partner being frustrated and miserable. Very rarely is any change forthcoming or permanent with such an issue.
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Based on my experience, I would agree with that! I am unsympathetic to all the women out there who stop having sex with their husbands after having kids, it's just plain ridiculous for the most part. 
