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If my wife/GF going to a strip club or getting a lapdance made me uncomfortable, I don't see how being dragged into it by friends, a party, or not taking it seriously makes a difference. Some posters here seem to make an exception in cases their husbands were bought a lapdance out of being messed with... I don't quite understand that exception.
I'm also very hesitant to define "normal" or what "normal relationships" look like and declare anyone outside of that has "serious issues". Decades ago, that was applicable to inter-racial relationships and not too long ago applicable to same-sex relationships.
Going to the strip club would not make me uncomfortable. Him getting a lap dance would. I stated that very clearly in my post. You do what you want in your relationships and I'll do what I want in mine, ok?
As for the "serious issues" part: that has nothing to do with same sex relationships and you know it, but nice false equivalency. Do you happen to know normal guys who go to strip clubs on a constant basis? No, those men are either very lonely, have major relationship issues, or have other things at work. I'll grant you that some men may take it as a way to unwind after work. Fine. But that's not the majority of customers.
I know you think you are the authority on these types of things because you are best buds with a prostitute, but I have had quite a few friends who "danced" their way through college and I know a bit about what goes on in strip clubs, too. You aren't the only one who's been around the block.
Going to the strip club would not make me uncomfortable. Him getting a lap dance would. I stated that very clearly in my post. You do what you want in your relationships and I'll do what I want in mine, ok?
Note.... I also said lapdance which you did say makes you uncomfortable.
Note.... I did not quote you specifically.. HOwever you quoted me specifically. You are not the only one here that makes such exception.
Note.. Saying that I don't quite understand the exception is a far cry from imposing my views on your relationship. I did no such thing. I simply asked how does it differentiate.
I think you are reading way too much into my post... and erking for an argument
Quote:
As for the "serious issues" part: that has nothing to do with same sex relationships and you know it, but nice false equivalency. Do you happen to know normal guys who go to strip clubs on a constant basis? No, those men are either very lonely, have major relationship issues, or have other things at work. I'll grant you that some men may take it as a way to unwind after work. Fine. But that's not the majority of customers.
It is not a false equivalency because at the root it is measuring and judging people based on ones own defintion of normal. And yes... I do know happy and functional couples (probably more so than some in traditional relationships) that frequent clubs. Some do go to clubs to unwind from work... you claim that it is not the majority of customres... I say prove it (and good luck doing so)
Quote:
I know you think you are the authority on these types of things because you are best buds with a prostitute, but I have had quite a few friends who "danced" their way through college and I know a bit about what goes on in strip clubs, too. You aren't the only one who's been around the block.
little snippy this late night aren't we? I understand we have different views and I made it clear that there is no wrong or right here... just what is acceptable by the couple or not acceptable.
I never claimed to be the authority on such matters HOWEVER, you seem to claim to be the authority on what is "normal" and who has "serious issues".
Note.... I also said lapdance which you did say makes you uncomfortable.
Note.... I did not quote you specifically.. HOwever you quoted me specifically. You are not the only one here that makes such exception.
Note.. Saying that I don't quite understand the exception is a far cry from imposing my views on your relationship. I did no such thing. I simply asked how does it differentiate.
I think you are reading way too much into my post... and erking for an argument
It is not a false equivalency because at the root it is measuring and judging people based on ones own defintion of normal. And yes... I do know happy and functional couples (probably more so than some in traditional relationships) that frequent clubs. Some do go to clubs to unwind from work... you claim that it is not the majority of customres... I say prove it (and good luck doing so)
little snippy this late night aren't we? I understand we have different views and I made it clear that there is no wrong or right here... just what is acceptable by the couple or not acceptable.
I never claimed to be the authority on such matters HOWEVER, you seem to claim to be the authority on what is "normal" and who has "serious issues".
You didn't quote me yet attempted to parrot what I said. But whatever.
I'm just stating my opinion. You don't like it, you are free to put me on Ignore.
In fact, since I have little respect for you based on a lot of the things you have said on here, I'll do you the same favor.
It shows a defect in the grooms personality. Why does a man want a naked lady humping him in public? Think it's cool? It's not. You act like a teenager who has never gotten out of the house with immature behavior like that. Grow up guys. These strippers are not looking at you for anything but $$$$$.
If my wife/GF going to a strip club or getting a lapdance made me uncomfortable, I don't see how being dragged into it by friends, a party, or not taking it seriously makes a difference. Some posters here seem to make an exception in cases their husbands were bought a lapdance out of being messed with... I don't quite understand that exception.
I'm also very hesitant to define "normal" or what "normal relationships" look like and declare anyone outside of that has "serious issues". Decades ago, that was applicable to inter-racial relationships and not too long ago applicable to same-sex relationships.
It's different in the sense that he's not requesting a lap dance himself or stopping off at the strip club on his own volition; he's a victim of circumstance. lol. I guess it's not much different than watching porn (which does not bother me), so maybe the exception isn't all that rational. Maybe it's an ego thing on my part; I'd love to proclaim that he can get all the lap dances he wants at home... but let's face it: me tripping over my own two feet while doing the YMCA in a thong and flip flops just isn't quite the same.
It's different in the sense that he's not requesting a lap dance himself or stopping off at the strip club on his own volition; he's a victim of circumstance. lol. I guess it's not much different than watching porn (which does not bother me), so maybe the exception isn't all that rational. Maybe it's an ego thing on my part; I'd love to proclaim that he can get all the lap dances he wants at home... but let's face it: me tripping over my own two feet while doing the YMCA in a thong and flip flops just isn't quite the same.
Thanks for the thoughtful response (I was afraid it was lost in the bickering)... and early morning laugh.
Follow up question. If the lap dance occurred at a house party (probably alcohol involved) with some random woman again not of his own volition, would you still be able to shrug it off?
If I were a woman and my husband knew it made me uncomfortable, I would hope that he would have enough balls to stand up against a group of guys laying on the peer pressure. But that's just me.. and I'm a guy who does not completely have a grasp of the interesting complexities of women.
My exGF and I were fairly "open" when it comes to stuff like this. However, we had boundaries, very hard boundaries... I dare not cross them. The rule of thumb was that as long as we are a couple, we do things as a couple. This includes lap dances; meaning she would have to know about it before hand. So I'd be the guy in a group that would have to refuse... and stand my ground... assuming we stopped at a club as a last minute unplanned thing.
So while I frequent clubs in past years and knowing who I am and my views on sexuality, I just thought it was an interesting turn that I would be the one that ultimately be bothered if my wife or exGF got a lap dance without me knowing about it.
I've never been in a situation in which I was with a bunch of guys pressuring for me to get a lap dance. But I have had lap dances.... yes.. on my own request and usually my exGF present.
My husband wouldn't get one, but I know his friends would buy him one. It's man bonding stuff. Would I be thrilled? Not really. Would I give him a hard time? No.
His friends invited him to Vegas and he said no. It would have been strip clubs, gambling and getting bust up. Most of them are quite familiar with infidelity.
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It shows a defect in the grooms personality. Why does a man want a naked lady humping him in public? Think it's cool? It's not. You act like a teenager who has never gotten out of the house with immature behavior like that. Grow up guys. These strippers are not looking at you for anything but $$$$$.
Of course because every guy who has went to a strip club doesn't know this.
Please stop thinking your dropping knowledge on someone.
It shows a defect in the grooms personality. Why does a man want a naked lady humping him in public? Think it's cool? It's not. You act like a teenager who has never gotten out of the house with immature behavior like that. Grow up guys. These strippers are not looking at you for anything but $$$$$.
In a groom's case it is like the women going to see Magic Mike, it's about the joke of being embarrassed by sexual activity in front of your friends. It is the guys who go alone and pay the pimps to go into whatever that club calls it's plausible denialbility rooms for non penatrative sex that are the problem children
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