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My wife and I are both asexual. That means neither of us desire sex, ever. We've been together since we were 12, emotionally married since 15, and legally married since 19. We are still in a successful relationship and it gets better every day. We have never ever once had sex. We feel just as close as sexual couples. Our love for each other runs incredibly deep. Sex is needed to build a marriage for some people, or even maybe for most people, but not for all people.
Like I said, different strokes for different folks.
Congratulations on finding a partner whose definition of "marital success" matches your own.
But seriously, you do know this is not the norm, right? And the fact you started your relationship at 12 speaks volumes. But I'm glad you feel so happy about your situation, since apparently neither of you wants to read those volumes!
For me, there is no good reason. I'm never getting married. But other people might have a good reason. However, sometimes I can tell when people get married for a bad reason.
Not for you, for someone else. That's what I'm asking. Give some examples you think are good reasons for someone to get married.
Some of us have been disappointed in sexual relations. When only one person is "into" the other, sex loses appeal especially when the relationship ends. Because women have consequences based on the partners we select, we consider ourselves to be in a relationship once we have sex. If we're waiting for the other shoe to fall before we find out if the man considers himself to be in a relationship with us, our putting sex out there has not served us well. If on the other hand the woman is sexually free and liberated and lets the man know so, the ground is more even (if he's not a double-standard dog who wants to play a faithful woman). I'm speaking as a woman, of course and also a Sociology graduate. Hope I'm not speaking too general. It's all good.
PLEASE speak for yourself. Yes you are speaking too generally.
Congratulations on finding a partner whose definition of "marital success" matches your own.
But seriously, you do know this is not the norm, right? And the fact you started your relationship at 12 speaks volumes. But I'm glad you feel so happy about your situation, since apparently neither of you wants to read those volumes!
Why do you think there's something wrong with this? Or that there's a "reason" why they feel this way? jw...
edit: sorry Im posting so many times in a row, I've had people staying with me so I haven't been on much in the last few days and have a lot to say!
Congratulations on finding a partner whose definition of "marital success" matches your own.
But seriously, you do know this is not the norm, right? And the fact you started your relationship at 12 speaks volumes. But I'm glad you feel so happy about your situation, since apparently neither of you wants to read those volumes!
Of course I realize it's not the norm. But I'm just pointing out there are always exceptions. Some people have posted very rigid definitions of marriage FOR ALL and I'm just trying to use my marriage as an example to show just how varied and flexible the definition of marriage can be. If they are just defining marriage for themselves and their partner, that's fine. But just remember, humanity is diverse!
Not for you, for someone else. That's what I'm asking. Give some examples you think are good reasons for someone to get married.
As someone that never wants to get married, I never gave this any thought. If I don't want to get married, why would I think of good reasons for other people to get married?
I'm not saying there are no good reasons. Just that I can't think of any.
Never? Wow, I did not realize. That is highly unusual. If I may ask, what is the difference between your love for your wife and a man's love for his sister?
The same as for you. The only difference is there's no sex. Our love just runs deeper. We are much more attached. My sister (and the rest of my family) abandoned me when I went blind and deaf and got diagnosed with a life-long chronic pain condition. My wife stuck with me. It's just a deeper more intimate love, and it's a truly unconditional love. We have really been through thick and thin together and yet our love has always still kept us together. There's no giving up. It's the only love that I find to be truly unconditional.
As someone that never wants to get married, I never gave this any thought. If I don't want to get married, why would I think of good reasons for other people to get married?
I'm not saying there are no good reasons. Just that I can't think of any.
but you're sure about bad reasons. interesting. as a person who knows they are never getting married why would you think about bad OR good reasons? either way they don't apply to you or affect you.
but you're sure about bad reasons. interesting. as a person who knows they are never getting married why would you think about bad OR good reasons? either way they don't apply to you or affect you.
Because the bad reasons strengthen my decision to never get married.
While it is extremely difficult for me to fathom not ever liking sex, after giving this a bit more thought, I guess I can understand someone either having low sex drive or no interest. This could be due to several reasons:
1. Age - As people get older their interest declines.
2. Weight/health - if someone is sickly or so overweight that they have breathing problems and/or not physically attractive or active they probably wouldnt want sex much.
3. Self Esteem/self confidence issues - This kinda relates to #2 above. Some people are just ashamed of their bodies and are afraid of what someone else will think of them if they are seen in the nude.
4. Maybe he/she just doesnt want sex with YOU!! - as a male, I can understand this if the woman just sits there and is not an active participant or if she's all like "ow, ow, ouch, hurry up, " ect. then that is no fun. Same thing that if a woman is with a guy who is just waaaaay too small or waaaaaaay too big she's not going to enjoy it.
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Hope I'm not speaking too general. It's all good.
