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It is a mistake to look at deviating from your standard of the ideal mate as "settling". I mean u change and so does your standards. As u mature the more realistic ur standards become lol.... So, it really isn't settling for less it is evolving and coming into ur own with a realistic perspective. No one is perfect on the inside or the out.
Not a good comparison. Your boss' opinion of your job performance directly affects whether you have health insurance, whether you can afford that car payment, whether your kids can eat or not. Not a good comparison.
Yet another person who sees an analogy where one WASN'T being made. The reason I cited a person's job wasn't to make an analogy between that and their personal life. It was simply to disprove this idea that you don't care what anyone else thinks.
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Originally Posted by Lucario
I've proven that I don't give a damn.
Whatever you say. Like I said, everyone likes to think they're the exception.
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Originally Posted by Lucario
That is vastly different than someone making decisions (minivan vs sports car, fashionable woman vs plain jane, etc.) based on or even taking into account other people's perceptions, and you damn well know it.
Oh please. You only say that because it undercuts your whole argument. The bottom line is that people take other people's opinions into account. If they do it over such trivial things like whether to drive an SUV or minivan, then it's hardly a stretch to thing they do with more important decisions.
Settling should only be used if you dont have a connection with a perosn and or dont love that person and are getting married for the sake of it or are dating someone whos not treating you with proper respect or is being abusive..
If you think you can find a better lookign person or a person of better status as your only reason for thinking your settling your priorities are messed up..
Yet another person who sees an analogy where one WASN'T being made. The reason I cited a person's job wasn't to make an analogy between that and their personal life. It was simply to disprove this idea that you don't care what anyone else thinks.
Whatever you say. Like I said, everyone likes to think they're the exception.
Oh please. You only say that because it undercuts your whole argument. The bottom line is that people take other people's opinions into account. If they do it over such trivial things like whether to drive an SUV or minivan, then it's hardly a stretch to thing they do with more important decisions.
I see nothing wrong with "settling." It just means that you have assessed your odds and have become less entitled. Reality has settled in.
First of all, what makes anyone think that they "deserve" somebody of their high standard, unless they exhibit the same qualities? I always hear fat guys complain about how they cannot get dates, but they refuse to date any overweight girls. Also, fat girls complain that the good ones have been taken, but refuse to date a man with some physical imperfections.
The only time when settling is bad is when you settle for that ax-murderer who just got out of prison.
As for caring about what others think when you have settled, true love conquers that. Anyone who cares more about outsider opinions is pathetic and will likely enter into a bad relationship/marriage, one that is based on superficial qualities and not on true compatibility.
I see nothing wrong with "settling." It just means that you have assessed your odds and have become less entitled. Reality has settled in.
First of all, what makes anyone think that they "deserve" somebody of their high standard, unless they exhibit the same qualities? I always hear fat guys complain about how they cannot get dates, but they refuse to date any overweight girls. Also, fat girls complain that the good ones have been taken, but refuse to date a man with some physical imperfections.
The only time when settling is bad is when you settle for that ax-murderer who just got out of prison.
As for caring about what others think when you have settled, true love conquers that. Anyone who cares more about outsider opinions is pathetic and will likely enter into a bad relationship/marriage, one that is based on superficial qualities and not on true compatibility.
I agree that settling shouldn't be seen as a bad thing if it means you're being realistic about what your options are. But the reason a lot of people think they "deserve" only the best is because it's what our culture preaches. And so you have a lot of people walking around feeling entitled. I also agree that you shouldn't let outside opinions dictate who you date. But unfortunately, it happens quite a lot. I knew a girl who was white and dating a black guy. But she knew her parents wouldn't approve. So she broke it off with him.
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So, it really isn't settling for less it is evolving and coming into ur own with a realistic perspective. No one is perfect on the inside or the out.
