Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Just because a woman has a child doesn't mean she "needs" you to lean on and/or the father is completely absent. Many people start out young and it doesn't work out. They get divorced and the mother typically has full custody while the kids visit the father on weekends. As for money, there is such a thing as child support which she receives in addition to her own earnings. She just wants to date and meet a new companion, is that so wrong?
I think its just a stereotype of a single mom being in a situation with multiple fathers with little support, ghetto, etc... I can understand if you were dating some who was 20 with multiple kids but 35 is a different story. Hypothetically, someone could have gotten married after college at 23/24 and gotten divorced around 30. In between that time she could have had a couple of children. Currently, at 35, she works a white collar job and the father is as active as he can be in his children's lives. What is so wrong with that? Unless you just don't like kids. However, your tone makes it seem as if these women are using you for support which is not always the case.
To be fair, not every single mom has "more baggage" other than just having a kid. I've met plenty who are perfectly stable, they just want to date again.
But the kid alone is enough to be a dealbreaker for many.
But the kid alone is enough to be a dealbreaker for many.
I would tend to agree EVEN though, I was a single Mom (father was still in the pic but I was single / divorced) and had two kids. I think for men when they hear a woman is interested BUT she has kids... The first thing they assume is that they are going to have to step in, pay for stuff, be a father figure, etc etc... and it's not the most romantic picture but I'd like to argue that by saying, before they "assume" the worst, maybe they need to get to know the Mom.
In my case when my kids were little, and I was single I did a few things differently. I never let my kids meet any man I dated until I knew it was turning into something serious. Even then it was on a rare occasion (maybe twice?)
I always kept my kids lives and my dating life completely apart. As a female adult, if I wanted male companionship, it didn't involve my kids.
I may have struggled a lot financially especially early on but I never once asked a guy I was dating for any kind of financial help, that was not their responsibility.
My ex husband was always in the picture, I wasn't looking for a replacement father for my kids. He paid his child support, saw his kids and remarried. The kids were always priority though.
Men get scared - the best thing to do is the actually take the time to get to know the woman first before running away with their tail tucked between their legs. Chances are, there are women who conduct their lives the same way I did.
Your problem isn't even remotely that every woman you meet has kids. Your problem is that every HOT woman you meet has kids.
You're just stating the (somewhat) obvious. However, when a guy gets into his mid 30s, they will usually be very happy with luke warm, but even that is seldom available without kids and an ex. The fact is that women don't have to go though the long slog that most men do (with the exception of the very good looking and those with inherited wealth) so their peers among women, are mostly long gone by age 35.
Where you say? Well, judging from the numbers of children in tow, they went for the superficially "best" they could snag a decade ago, and gave little consideration to more important factors in a men. At that time, they likely wouldn't have given the OP the time of day. Average guys, working hard to make something of themselves are near the bottom of the pecking order while in their 20s. Too long a wait for results.
These women must think i got sucker stamp on my head. because they know damn well 5 and 10 years ago they wouldn't give a damn about me, but i guess since The so called bad boy phase is out the door and they had there while times they think some good dude will come along and take care of her and her kids..
any other guys going through the same thing
Could be they lived and learned some. As they matured so did their taste in men. Not sure why this is something to be bitter about.
Yeah if the OP doesn't want to date women who have children then don't do it. No one is putting a gun to his head. Set your standard and hold to it, but don't be critical of women with children. All women have motives some good some not so good.
Yeah if the OP doesn't want to date women who have children then don't do it. No one is putting a gun to his head. Set your standard and hold to it, but don't be critical of women with children. All women have motives some good some not so good.
I think you will find a common thread in the Relationship Forum, many single men despise a woman with children and are actually pretty nasty towards the poor kids. I personally think men who call kids 'baggage' are douches and not worthy of some of the wonderful single Mums out there.
I agree with you, if you don't want to date someone with kids then find someone who doesn't have them. Not every single women out there has a child.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
