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actually there is a great book called Emotional Vampires, its about people with all different types of personality disorders. Impulsive people have a type of personality disorder. This is an excellent book if interested in learning about them.
I didn't know what to expect when I read this. She sounds like a very selfish, cruel, heartless, (need I go on, cause I can) girl. You don't see it now and you probably won't for some time. But she did you a favor.
I have read lots of good advice. Especially how when someone stops fighting and mentally checking out. That is so true. I hope to god it hasn't killed your faith in people. Like another poster mentioned, I hope it doesn't ruin a potential queen for you because of trust issues and fear.
Women and men can be so cold when it's over that it sometimes makes you wonder how you could have been blinded by their true self. Love truly is blind.
Another thing I couldn't help notice is how you described all of the wonderful things you did for each other.
I am over 35 and sometimes I am still confused. Sometimes in life, make that many times in life when you treat someone really good, they take you for granted. If someone is like that, run and run quick. I'll never forget (because originally-assuming someone is not damaged goods yet) I used to want to treat a girl like a queen. But I noticed with alot of them, that the better you treat them, somehow the worst I got treated.
Point in blank, made my girl (years ago) breakfast in bed, only for her about an hour later to completely treat me like an as hole. This confused the hel l out of me for many years. I genuinely wanted to treat someone I really liked or loved great, but it seemed to be a turn off of sorts. So for many years, I became something I didn't want to be. I never hit a women, but there were many limits to what I would do for them. It almost seemed like the worst I treated someone, the more they wanted me.
It was only later in life that I learned to find a happy medium. You can still treat a girl nice but have a happy medium. When you find the right one, they will want to treat you the same. Im sure you've heard it all before.
But I spent about ten years sabatoging every relationship by giving very little and allowing my insecurities to play out. Things like dumping them in the middle of an argument. Instead of learning how to deal with problems, my insecurities would dump them (or get them) before they got me. It's a very sad way to live.
For your own sake, seek out someone to talk to and remember that all girls are not the same, although sometimes it can seem this way. There are girls out there who would appreciate a nice guy like you.
Good luck to you and I hope you don't make the same mistakes I did. I spent a lot of years unhappy. I hope you don't
Painful, yes, and sadly she didn't treat you well in the ending. Perhaps there is no good way to handle this. However, my feeling has always been that I want whatever makes the person I love be happy, and if that means she's happier with someone else, then so be it. I will get over it, and how could I possibly want to keep someone who does not want to be with me?
Falling out of love is hard to do, but do it you must. Hearing 'time heals all wounds' doesn't help, I don't know of anything that really helps. Do something you enjoy doing that takes your mind off your troubles, and keep busy. It took me two years to realize my exwife did me a huge favor by filing for divorce, but in the meantime I was miserable. Please believe in one thing, the future can be even better, but you have to do it for yourself. Good luck, keep in touch...
From what you mentioned it sounded like you did everything "right". I hate when this happens because it seems like a textbook case of one partner not seeing that the person you with doesn't really love you or feel the same passion for you. Sure it's easy to receive flowers, go to dinner, smile when someone is being romantic but who wouldn't? I doubt she was puting in as much effort as you were with her -think about it.
Anyhow, I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep the faith. Love is grand and can be experienced again even if you are experiencing this horrible tragedy.
Thank you all for your kind, kind support in dealing with a traumatic breakup: Gone in a heartbeat
The divorce was final in summer. I had to stand like a moron alone in front of a judge and admit my marriage failed. But I am free and clear with no alimony, etc. (Literally one week after the divorce was final, however, I met a beautiful girl about my age who's company I really, really enjoy. We see each other 2-3 times a week and always have a great time.)
In early August my ex-wife tried to come back. She sent flowers, called, sent numerous emails explaining how much she loves me and that it was by far the biggest mistake of her life, etc. I guess her new life with her new boyfriend wasn't the wonderful fantasy she expected. I told her no way, and that I had moved on, that she will never be able to hurt me again, and never to contact me again.
She proved herself to have a capacity for cruelty and selfishness I never thought possible. I unfortunately believe she is fundamentally flawed and maybe even a bit sociopath: How could any thinking, feeling person do what she did to anyone, not just to someone she married and shared a home with? Really, how much could she had truly loved me in the first place?
Please share your thoughts...Even though it is over, I don't think I will ever truly get over it. I will always look back at seeing that note and feel sick to my stomach, or simply become deeply saddened by the epic tragedy of it all.
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How old are you???
Update: Gone in a heartbeat
