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I have trouble with the whole "permission" thing. The woman does not belong to the father, she makes her own choices.
That said- I do think it shows respect if you have a chat with Dad AND MOM to explain how much you love their daughter...and, should she accept your proposal, you want to ask their "advice" on making a happy marriage for her.
Its traditional. We know we are already going to be in trouble for refusing a large wedding and he is freaking out about what to say to my father. I wanted to see what some seasoned vets of the field have gone through.
Its traditional. We know we are already going to be in trouble for refusing a large wedding and he is freaking out about what to say to my father. I wanted to see what some seasoned vets of the field have gone through.
Given what I read on that site, I wouldn't take their advice on anything. Who says, "It's still proper etiquette to do so"? In my view, asking for the father's (or both parents') permission to marry their daughter is not only unnecessary, it is an offensive attack on a woman's autonomy.
Also, don't buy that old saw about spending two months' salary on the engagement ring. Who do you think came up with that? That's right--deBeers.
Yeh I am not wanting a 2 months sized ring. That would look tacky on my hand. That was offered and I just don't want that size for looks or for someone else getting bright ideas they want it.
I don't think its really an attack on autonomy. I think its just a nice tradition that takes an extra step to show you care. Its not like they are going to say no anyway. I am just laughing when I see him squirm about what he is going to say. LOL
My husband did ask my dad and he got the usual advice: treat her well, yada, yada. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for his blessing or from the mom either.
Yeh I am not wanting a 2 months sized ring. That would look tacky on my hand.
My kinda woman! My wife told me she didn't like diamonds (whew) so she didn't get any. Years later I showed her fine diamonds and she 'lowed as how they were nice. Now she has a wedding band with black and white diamonds and she loves it.
I did good!
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