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Ohhhhhhh sorry I thought snap was a universal term for the same......
It's a kids game with playing cards....... ( if memory serves ) you keep turning cards over until you get two of the same and then the first to say SNAP!!! Wins but it's used often when you agree on something or share the same opinion/feelings on the matter for example... ( even amongst us " grown ups " )
So in short I'm the same as you in the terms of " deep love "
I was amused by the chemical analysis early on in the thread, and it took until post 98 before I saw much more than "yes it does" and "no it doesn't." "Deep" love is somewhat of a nebulous term.
My wife and I were together for 33 years. In the month in hospital before she died, one of her daughters (who had a troubled marriage) was simply dumbfounded by the strength and love of our relationship even in the face of death. At the same time she was in awe of us, I was deeply saddened that her own marriage was so disconnected that she had never experienced true love and mating.
In the Greek there is eros (sexual love), philia (brotherly love), agape (various definitions including divine love)
In the immeasurables of Buddhism there is lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity.
There is love that arises out of a need or neediness, and there is love that arises out of a centeredness of self (not egoism or egotism, but a centered self) that reaches out.
Eros and neediness based loves tend to be self-limiting. They can be very intense, but in a larger way are very shallow, as once needs are met or erotic becomes mundane, the loves dwindle or are lost. The loves that last and grow incorporate other elements. There is a recognition and honoring of each partner by the other. There is an acceptance of personal flaws or weaknesses. There is a recognition of the entity that is the couple is fully as real as the two individuals. There is a commitment that grows over time.
A simple reality check of where you might be along those first steps is where your mate makes a faux pas or error in a public setting. If you correct the mate publicly, you are not yet a full couple. If you get the mate aside privately and correct them, you are on the way. If you defend your mate or deflect the responses away from your mate, - even when the mate is wrong and you know it - then you have a couple that lives.
When there is a "couple" entity that lives, then there is a deep trust that also develops. With deep trust and the freedom of expression that it allows, then true intimacy begins to express and flourish. That could be the telling of deep secrets, it could be the explorations of fantasies both non-sexual and sexual, it could be the opening of past deep psychic wounds for consoling and comfort. It is only at this stage when mates begin to really know and accept each other for who they are "warts and all."
Another self-check involves the idea of mudita. Mudita or sympathetic joy is when your empathy extends out to your mate to the point that when you see your mate experience pleasure that the pleasure is equally there in you. It is the smile that you cannot suppress when a look of joy crosses your mate's face. It is the active seeking out of support and pleasure for your mate with at least equal intensity to your seeking of pleasure for yourself, and meeting their basic needs is a given.
At a certain point in all of this, you reach a place where you recognize that the relationship, the couplehood, has more value than such things as money or recognition by others or creature comforts or fame, and is in some ways more powerful than the the individuals that comprise the couple.
All of it takes communication, trust, honesty, compassion and true caring - from BOTH of the mates.
Does deep love exist? You betcha. However it does take learning how to communicate and communicate needs in clear and gentle ways and it takes commitment. Are there "chemical rewards" as suggested in that early post? Sure, but that misses the point. The numerous rewards of a true trusting and fulfilled relationship are far greater and longer lasting than any biochemical "hit" of joy juice.
I am talking about that "till forever due us part" love. The kind of love that is two souls joining and becoming one, forever. The one that all romantic movies have proclaimed since the beginning of romantic movies. No matter what, you two are in it forever kind of love.
Does this actually exist? Or is it a figment of our imaginations like the easter bunny or Santa Clause? Is it a one time thing? Can it really last forever?
Discuss.
I believe it exists. My wife and I have been married for about 20 years now. I dont see us divorcing. I still can't wait to get home to see her. We're happy together. So yes I think it's possible. I know people who have been married for 40-50 years still togther
I believe it exists. My wife and I have been married for about 20 years now. I dont see us divorcing. I still can't wait to get home to see her. We're happy together. So yes I think it's possible. I know people who have been married for 40-50 years still togther
That has sorta be one a litmus test of sorts for me. How many spouses are still eager to get home to see their spouse. Would one rather toil in the office or do we want to go home to home to the wife???
trust
respect
communication
love
ability to work together
just some I'm sure everyone can add many more
Adding: Compromise
Since this post started we have now celebrated 52 years of marriage.
You have to work on it and not just throw it away and move on to the next one. The next one might be worse than what you had.
Our daughter is fixing to (southern talk there) file for her second divorce. Just moving right along there and if she falls in love again it will probably end up in a divorce too. Her comments "people today are not like you and dad."
Built our dream home in 1977, raised 3 children, mega dogs, cats and other critters. Now that children are grown and gone house is too big for us but we will live & die right here. Guess we are just strange people.
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) you keep turning cards over until you get two of the same and then the first to say SNAP!!! Wins 
) 
