Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't feel I'm entitled to anything. Either a guy would call, or he wouldn't... pretty simple. I'm not going to call the guy without reason the first month, generally
Interesting. Ok, here’s this guy who you likes you, you like him, and you hold off on calling him, taking him out, paying for his expenses, etc. Why? I mean, you like him so why not? Why make him wait until you approve him?
Interesting. Ok, here’s this guy who you likes you, you like him, and you hold off on calling him, taking him out, paying for his expenses, etc. Why? I mean, you like him so why not? Why make him wait until you approve him?
I wrote the rationale behind my thoughts already, and it didn't include all that that you wrote up there.
You're not going to change my mind. Why? Because that is how I like to date, and it's worked very well. No guys used, or angry, very little drama, I don't hate men.... Date how you want, it's very simple. What's not simple is when you think everyone should do it the way you want.
I wrote the rationale behind my thoughts already, and it didn't include all that that you wrote up there.
You're not going to change my mind. Why? Because that is how I like to date, and it's worked very well. No guys used, or angry, very little drama, I don't hate men.... Date how you want, it's very simple. What's not simple is when you think everyone should do it the way you want
No, not looking to change your mind but just wondered what was your reason to let a man do it all for you and not reciprocate until married, living together, the relationship became formal, or until he was approved. The reasons that women have mentioned already are: a real man has to do all that for a lady, that is the way it is supposed to be, that’s biology, a man has to show he has good motives, women don’t want to take risks, women are not brave, etc. I guess you have one or some of those reasons. But like you said, it works out fine for you, go for it. Hey, it works fine with me to have women be nice since the first date. To each their own.
No, not looking to change your mind but just wondered what was your reason to let a man do it all for you and not reciprocate until married, living together, the relationship became formal, or until he was approved. The reasons that women have mentioned already are: a real man has to do all that for a lady, that is the way it is supposed to be, that’s biology, a man has to show he has good motives, women don’t want to take risks, women are not brave, etc. I guess you have one or some of those reasons. But like you said, it works out fine for you, go for it. Hey, it works fine with me to have women be nice since the first date. To each their own.
I never said any of that. You did. Never once did I say I do nothing to reciprocate, never said a real man must do everything.
I never said any of that. You did. Never once did I say I do nothing to reciprocate, never said a real man must do everything.
And I never said YOU said those things. I clearly said those are reasons women mention when asked why leave it all to the guy (initiative, paying, romancing, asking out, etc.). Sure, you reciprocate in a traditional way by answering his calls and things like that. You are the one who said you wouldn't do those things during the initial stages. You even mentioned about something cute you did for a guy but it is a guy you are already in a formal relationship with. But wouldn't call him when things are starting. That is, you rather leave it to him. Hey, nothing wrong with that. Most women prefer it that way, at least in the west.
Dewdrop93,
Nope, didn't complain about the things women say. Didn't you read where I said it holds some truth? And I am not complaining about American women, I just have preferences like you have yours. I keep saying they are not better/worse, just different.
What doy ou think of Lottamoxie example on how women, like flowers, should just sit there and let the man do it all?
You ALWAYS complain about women! That's pretty much all that you do! And you can keep claiming that you don't think American women are better or worse - just different - but it's so obvious that you don't believe that. It kind of makes you just look like a liar, to be honest with you.
What do I think of how women should just sit there and let the man do all the work? Have you not read any of my posts? A relationship is a two way street. Do some women disagree with me? Yes. Do some men? Yes. Why? Because we are all different. This is why your blanket statements are so erroneous. And then you find the one or two women that confirm your claims - and suddenly - everything that you believe is correct.
Also - quite assuming things and maybe you will see the big picture better. When someone says that they only call if they have a reason to call during the first month - that's all it means. She didn't say - he calls me all the time but I only return calls or call for a reason. I would say that MOST people only call for a reason during the first month. Those reasons would be to make plans, to change plans, to share something big, etc. Many PEOPLE don't want to seem to needy at the start so they will take it slow and not call unless they have a reason to.
You will never learn unless you start listening and stop assuming that all women are materialistic hookers. If you don't know the difference between a hooker and a woman on a date - then really, there is no hope for you. Maybe you could watch the episode of Frasier where Niles thinks he's on a date when really she's a call girl. That might help you out.
I don't feel I'm entitled to anything. Either a guy would call, or he wouldn't... pretty simple. I'm not going to call the guy without reason the first month, generally. And it's always worked out very well.
You asked how a guy knows if a girl is interested and I told you how I do. I find it neither shallow nor entitled.
You do realize that you sound rather condescending call grown women "My dear"? Who talks like that?
Just trying to lighten the post a bit. We both have our own opinions and I respect what you've said. But is it the most effective way to get to know a man and develop a relationship?
It seems you've created a courting system which protects you from getting hurt. "You only answer his calls." You want him to "take the risks". You tell him when you have other plans. He bears all the risk and rejection.
It's ideal, but unfair. Relationships come with risk. At least the good ones do.
Everything I've stated is based on the literal comments you have made.
I don't feel I'm entitled to anything. Either a guy would call, or he wouldn't... pretty simple. I'm not going to call the guy without reason the first month, generally. And it's always worked out very well.
You asked how a guy knows if a girl is interested and I told you how I do. I find it neither shallow nor entitled.
You do realize that you sound rather condescending call grown women "My dear"? Who talks like that?
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
Interesting. Ok, here’s this guy who you likes you, you like him, and you hold off on calling him, taking him out, paying for his expenses, etc. Why? I mean, you like him so why not? Why make him wait until you approve him?
WHAT??? See what I mean about assuming? Actually, this isn't so much assuming as just making things up. She says she doesn't call him with out a reason and you leap to her not calling him at all, taking him out, paying for things, etc. Ridiculous. Why must everything come back to money to you?
And I never said YOU said those things. I clearly said those are reasons women mention when asked why leave it all to the guy (initiative, paying, romancing, asking out, etc.). Sure, you reciprocate in a traditional way by answering his calls and things like that. You are the one who said you wouldn't do those things during the initial stages. You even mentioned about something cute you did for a guy but it is a guy you are already in a formal relationship with. But wouldn't call him when things are starting. That is, you rather leave it to him. Hey, nothing wrong with that. Most women prefer it that way, at least in the west.
There you go again. Most women. Have you done surveys and conducted statistical analyses of "western women"? Who are these "most" that you speak of? 5-6 women, so millions of American women prefer it that way because you met a handful that do?
There you go again. Most women. Have you done surveys and conducted statistical analyses of "western women"? Who are these "most" that you speak of? 5-6 women, so millions of American women prefer it that way because you met a handful that do?
When women say most men just want to hook up for sex, tell me, is there some truth to that? Sure, we can’t say an exact number but you bet a lot of men hook up just for sex. There are all these posts here from women saying how men just want sex, men think with their penis, and so on. Do you go and disagree with them? Oh, but nobody tells them what you just said of course.
Go to google and type “dating etiquette…who pays on a date…first date tips…dating tips…chivalry” or just look around in the forum and see how women, generally speaking, rather leave it all to the guy. Don’t tell me you forgot all those threads where women share how they liked a guy at their job or whatever but are too afraid to make the first move. Look at the majority of women responses “don’t do it, if a man is interested he will be the one who makes the move…don’t do it or you will look desperate…” and so on. I guess you haven’t been in the forum that long. Didn’t you say before how traditional way of dating shouldn’t be forgotten? Weren’t you the one who said that a guy that takes you to McDonald’s is terrible?
Quote:
You ALWAYS complain about women!
Oh please. We could say the same about women. Just take a peek at the threads. The thing is that women complaining about men is acceptable. That’s the difference. So let’s move on…
Quote:
And you can keep claiming that you don't think American women are better or worse - just different - but it's so obvious that you don't believe that. It kind of makes you just look like a liar, to be honest with you
That’s what you want to think, go ahead. I could say the same thing about you and say you lie on your posts. So let’s remain on the subject. I date American women when I am in the USA, so what. They don’t pay for their expenses, so what? It is not like the food will taste different, the event will be different, etc. Now, if you ask me what I prefer, well, I prefer things to revolve around me too but hey, “…when in Rome…” You might like vanilla but the ice cream shop ran out of it. Doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy the other flavors. I prefer Asian women but doesn’t mean I dislike others.
Quote:
Also - quite assuming things and maybe you will see the big picture better. When someone says that they only call if they have a reason to call during the first month - that's all it means. She didn't say - he calls me all the time but I only return calls or call for a reason. I would say that MOST people only call for a reason during the first month. Those reasons would be to make plans, to change plans, to share something big, etc.
And those reasons to make plans and all women say over and over they rather leave it to the man. There’s just a few women out there in the forum, like Ulysses, who does not understand either why women rather have men pay for their stuff, take the initiative, and so on. There are exceptions. The majority of women prefer the so called traditional way or are you going to tell me women in general don’t prefer that? Come on.
Quote:
You will never learn unless you start listening and stop assuming that all women are materialistic hookers
I have said over and over that women preferring to be with men above their level, preferring for men to do it all, etc. is the way it seems to go most of the time in western countries and how I don’t see its wrong, just not my preference. No need to make a drama out of it really.
A hooker offers company and sex and she gets money, shelter, etc. Are you going to say that is not true?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
