Friends with benefits..... (Christian, marry, women, love)

[believe007]

How often does that turn into a LTR? I would think, if you're already friends, and the sex is off the charts, why bother looking elsewhere?
Makes me curious if its happened to anyone here, and if so what's your story?

[johna01374]

Over the years I've had a few FWB's but never let it turn into anything more. There is a reason why it's called FWB's and for it to be successful you need to keep your feeling out of it.

I would say if done correctly it will never turn into something more. I can't tell you how often it actually happens that way though.

[Checkered24]

Not often.

What I have seen happen most of the time in a FWB situation is that one of the friends develops feelings and hopes for a LTR. The other just considers it FWB and has no inclination to get into an LTR. Once the hope of an LTR springs up in one of the friends, it creates friction, drama, and damages the friendship.

I think this happens because an LTR is a different animal than being friends with someone, and looking for physical satisfaction. Sure, being friends and physical relations with a partner in an LTR is there, but LTR's are a higher commitment level, and IMO, a much higher level of emotional and mental intimacy with your partner than a FWB situation. In an LTR, you are really connecting with your partner on all levels. In a FWB situation, your passing on that level of connection.

[TaoistDude]

Even a good friend may be unsuitable for a permanent relationship. There is often some basic incompatibility that precludes taking that additional step, and ideally both people see, acknowledge, and agree that this is the case. However, it's possible only one person sees the problem, or it may only be a problem one person has with the other that presents the barrier. This is when FWB may not work well as the other person does not have the same perspective.

Communication is key, as is a shared perspective on the non-viability of something more than a FWB situation.

[Sonata36]

Originally Posted by believe007

if you're already friends, and the sex is off the charts, why bother looking elsewhere?
Makes me curious if its happened to anyone here, and if so what's your story?

Because there is waaaaaaay more to a relationship than being friends and sex that is off the charts.

Is there a deeper foundation when the sex isn't good for a while or something unfriendly happens?

[cpg35223]

Chances are, if there are two people wanting to be FWB with one another, one will eventually want to be something more.

[blondiel]

If the sex is off the charts and that is all you want there is no need to look elsewhere. A FWB situation is not a relationship. It is sex, only sex.

[loose cannon]

Friends with benefits is a lie. There is always some sort of emotional attachment. If you are not really into the person, then it is absurd to engage in activity just for the sake of it. Friends with benefits (I refuse to abbreviate) is an agreement between two people emotionally afraid to take the next step.

[purehuman]

Friends with benefits is just a cute way of saying you want no commitment.

[SomeBodyUK]

What if you know that you and the other person could never have a relationship? e.g. I met a divorced Korean-Christian lady who's looking to marry another Christian guy. I'm not a Christian (I'm a non-practising Hindu) and I never will be - and she's knows this. She's still happy to come over to my place when she's in the mood...There's no emotional attachment at all from my end.

I've had FWB situations with 2 other women in the past (on different occasions) who wanted more. One told me she loved me and the other one wanted to be with me too. I broke off both of them, I made it plain to them at the start that I wasn't ready for anything serious.