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I went to the internet to find my wife 1) because I wanted a person that was from China that valued family matters first and 2) because I was tired of the way most American women acted, like I owed then something, most Chinese women are like : what can WE do for the Family, most American women that I have met are like : what can YOU do for Me, thats why I went to the net, and besides, in this day and age, why not go to the net the world is getting smaller every year.
Just my opinion
I did meet my ex-wife on the internet, but it was a message board similar to this one. We had 2 dates and I knew I was going to marry her. We were together for 7 years. My heart is still broken 2 years after the divorce was final. I think I'm just going to hire a professional matchmaker soon. I've talked to a couple of them here and I think thats what I need to do to find someone. I mean, friends think I should be a dating machine, but the confidence isn't there. It doesn't matter what you look like or how good of shape you're in if you don't have confidence. Women just run. My ex-wife really did a number on me.
I did meet my ex-wife on the internet, but it was a message board similar to this one. We had 2 dates and I knew I was going to marry her. We were together for 7 years. My heart is still broken 2 years after the divorce was final. I think I'm just going to hire a professional matchmaker soon. I've talked to a couple of them here and I think thats what I need to do to find someone. I mean, friends think I should be a dating machine, but the confidence isn't there. It doesn't matter what you look like or how good of shape you're in if you don't have confidence. Women just run. My ex-wife really did a number on me.
Work on making yourself a complete person without a woman. Engage yourself in volunteerism. Set your sights lower and forget about looking for a life-long partner. Date just strictly for fun, companionship, and sex. You will be a lot happier. The vast majority of women out there now are not worth marrying.
Last edited by QuickStudy178; 10-13-2011 at 12:04 AM..
Work on making yourself a complete person without a woman. Set your sights lower and forget about looking for a life-long partner. Date just strictly for fun, companionship, and sex. You will be a lot happier. The vast majority of women out there now are not worth marrying.
This is the true key to happiness. It doesn't lie with someone else, it lies within you. You have to create and and bring it out of yourself. Women are a whole different species and I fear that the society they live in today only messes them up. If you look for happiness in one of them, you're only kidding yourself.
Work on making yourself a complete person without a woman. Engage yourself in volunteerism. Set your sights lower and forget about looking for a life-long partner. Date just strictly for fun, companionship, and sex. You will be a lot happier. The vast majority of women out there now are not worth marrying.
Good advice, except the lower my standards part. I've been working on myself for years, trying to correct all the mistakes in my marriage, and I think I'm there. I'm not looking for a woman for just sex. I want a family and I want to be out of the dating scene as soon as reasonably possible (without rushing it). As for the sexcapades, been there done that. I'm a guy who wants commitment and marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDubs3201
This is the true key to happiness. It doesn't lie with someone else, it lies within you. You have to create and and bring it out of yourself. Women are a whole different species and I fear that the society they live in today only messes them up. If you look for happiness in one of them, you're only kidding yourself.
I found that out the hard way, but I'm not happy with myself. Never have been. I'm not successful and my dreams of family and a great career have blown up. I'm now 43, and feel like its too late. Its unlikely I'll find a woman 10 years younger and start a family with her. My ex-wife took the family dream away when she left. So now what? I don't know.
Guys are extremely selective with online dating too. Not just the girls.
It's hard being a girl with online dating. How do you classify yourself? Average, big, thick, little extra.
The notion that "guy like girls with meat on their bones/big girls, etc" is so false. Guys want a blow up doll - Beyonce, JLO, Kim Kardashian looking women. Big on top and bottom and most either fit in the middle or not even close. Big a$$ yet a size 2 doesn't apply to life outside of TV. You're looking at girls sizes 8-10 and more. If you have butt than 8/10 you're not going to be teeny-tiny. Average on those sites is like 4 and under I think as far as people's perception.
I've always been curious to try it just because as I get older I attract an odd selection of guys. Some say I look like I could be 18-19 and I still get carded everywhere so I get high school and 18-20 year old guys which is okay but I've been legal for awhile now and that doesn't work.
OR I get 35+ and I'm not looking for anyone more than 5 years older than me. 30+ tend to have kids and that doesn't work.
I have a cousin who only does online dating and she says it works for her but she's weird with her criteria. She likes "potential" guys where it's okay if their not financially secure or have a job as long as their cute yet they always have some kind of issues - controlling, possessive, clingy, etc.
I' rather go for someone cute to me and average than a cute guy that could snap and toss my body in a park. I don't do crazy.
Guys are extremely selective with online dating too. Not just the girls.
It's hard being a girl with online dating. How do you classify yourself? Average, big, thick, little extra.
The notion that "guy like girls with meat on their bones/big girls, etc" is so false. Guys want a blow up doll - Beyonce, JLO, Kim Kardashian looking women. Big on top and bottom and most either fit in the middle or not even close. Big a$$ yet a size 2 doesn't apply to life outside of TV. You're looking at girls sizes 8-10 and more. If you have butt than 8/10 you're not going to be teeny-tiny. Average on those sites is like 4 and under I think as far as people's perception.
I've always been curious to try it just because as I get older I attract an odd selection of guys. Some say I look like I could be 18-19 and I still get carded everywhere so I get high school and 18-20 year old guys which is okay but I've been legal for awhile now and that doesn't work.
OR I get 35+ and I'm not looking for anyone more than 5 years older than me. 30+ tend to have kids and that doesn't work.
I have a cousin who only does online dating and she says it works for her but she's weird with her criteria. She likes "potential" guys where it's okay if their not financially secure or have a job as long as their cute yet they always have some kind of issues - controlling, possessive, clingy, etc.
I' rather go for someone cute to me and average than a cute guy that could snap and toss my body in a park. I don't do crazy.
Thats a shame. I'm guessing I'm probably 10 years older, but no kids. Issues getting taken care of. Nobody's perfect. But I'm all about self improvement and learning from my mistakes. Plus, I treat women well, but few appreciate that anyway.
Thats a shame. I'm guessing I'm probably 10 years older, but no kids. Issues getting taken care of. Nobody's perfect. But I'm all about self improvement and learning from my mistakes. Plus, I treat women well, but few appreciate that anyway.
I know no one's perfect but her guys are like romance novel, alpha male, attractive in a fictional story but in RL a guy that possessive isn't attractive. That's potential stalker/get a restraining order.
But he's cute so she's okay with him being possessive and telling her she has a bad personality and is a negative person and criticizing things about her. He is cute but he has a butt ugly personality being like that.
I think age gaps work as you get older. A 40 year old and a 50 year old isn't so bad. 50/60, etc.
Now a 25/35 and 30/40 is pushing it because with the way life is now 25 is just barely out of college and trying to find their way while 35's been out there for awhile and probably ready to settle down and that could be a clash. I know it is for me.
I can't help but look down on the ages when it's a big gap and go "When you were 15 with a learners permit he/she was VERY illegal for you" "when you were 20 and about to be able to drive they were VERY illegal for you"
Good advice, except the lower my standards part. I've been working on myself for years, trying to correct all the mistakes in my marriage, and I think I'm there. I'm not looking for a woman for just sex. I want a family and I want to be out of the dating scene as soon as reasonably possible (without rushing it). As for the sexcapades, been there done that. I'm a guy who wants commitment and marriage.
I found that out the hard way, but I'm not happy with myself. Never have been. I'm not successful and my dreams of family and a great career have blown up. I'm now 43, and feel like its too late. Its unlikely I'll find a woman 10 years younger and start a family with her. My ex-wife took the family dream away when she left. So now what? I don't know.
At least you can get the sexcapades if you wanted. I can't even get that lately. I should move back to Atlanta or better yet, Japan. I was doing so much better in those places than where I am now (Italy). Also with the age, unfortunately it does get harder as you get older. Your options become more limited. I wish I could go back to my 20's when I at least had the looks. I threw away my late 20's by being married to my ex-wife, and like you I felt less confident and less happy with myself after the divorce. She told me before we separated that 30's is not the age to be single and I will never find anyone else. I did have a brief period of confidence building after the divorce by sleeping around. Now, I feel like I'm at an age where I can't attract girls 10+ years younger than me, and my confidence level has plummeted after all the rejections. I'll be turning 33 soon. I feel like I missed to boat to enjoy the single life and I'm trying to swim after it. I'm just glad my ex-wife can't see me now because she would laugh in my face and call me pathetic.
At least you can get the sexcapades if you wanted. I can't even get that lately. I should move back to Atlanta or better yet, Japan. I was doing so much better in those places than where I am now (Italy). Also with the age, unfortunately it does get harder as you get older. Your options become more limited. I wish I could go back to my 20's when I at least had the looks. I threw away my late 20's by being married to my ex-wife, and like you I felt less confident and less happy with myself after the divorce. She told me before we separated that 30's is not the age to be single and I will never find anyone else. I did have a brief period of confidence building after the divorce by sleeping around. Now, I feel like I'm at an age where I can't attract girls 10+ years younger than me, and my confidence level has plummeted after all the rejections. I'll be turning 33 soon. I feel like I missed to boat to enjoy the single life and I'm trying to swim after it. I'm just glad my ex-wife can't see me now because she would laugh in my face and call me pathetic.
I don't get why you need someone 10+ years younger than you when you're only 33. women in their late 20's can have healthy babies (if that's the issue).
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