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I've met people with no photo. Was quite common 15 or so years ago. Have done so recently too. Why not? It's also common for women, even currently, to put up less than flattering photos of themselves purposefully so that they try to discourage guys who are looks obsessed.
there was a dating site years ago where pix had no filters/alterations and the profiles listed 3 of your worst qualities. the idea was if you can look past someones snoring, backne, chewing with mouth open; rather than, it being a deal-breaker 3 months into the relationship. i forget the name of it, i saw it on reddit.
Last edited by stanley-88888888; 03-11-2020 at 08:35 AM..
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I've met people with no photo. Was quite common 15 or so years ago. Have done so recently too. Why not? It's also common for women, even currently, to put up less than flattering photos of themselves purposefully so that they try to discourage guys who are looks obsessed.
It was more common to have no photo because it was before catfished & all the stories about how people lie about who they are online.....so that's why dating sites started becoming verifiable & photos & video necessary IMO. You're taking yoru own safety at risk IMO to meet a man that won't show himself online. I was a teen 15 yrs ago & my friends & I would connect with guys from other schools....it took some well known abduction cases to learn about safety online. Any guy that hides or won't show a photo......no way.
You see the person you meet in rl to date........why can't you see the person you meet online...... when it's so easy to do & so easy to hide? It's common sense for your own safety.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
It was more common to have no photo because it was before catfished & all the stories about how people lie about who they are online.....so that's why dating sites started becoming verifiable & photos & video necessary IMO. You're taking yoru own safety at risk IMO to meet a man that won't show himself online. I was a teen 15 yrs ago & my friends & I would connect with guys from other schools....it took some well known abduction cases to learn about safety online. Any guy that hides or won't show a photo......no way.
You see the person you meet in rl to date........why can't you see the person you meet online...... when it's so easy to do & so easy to hide? It's common sense for your own safety.
It does nothing to add to my safety to see a pic before meeting at a public place to have a drink. I haven't used any dating sites with photo verification that I know of, maybe its an option I'm not aware of. It's just not a big deal to me. Others have other personal thresholds. Several women I've met have good reasons to not show their faces, whether its high profile public facing professions, stalkers exes, or very common ones: professors with students on the same site or people in open marriages where they don't want neighbors/co workers to know (though I often connect with their S/O before it goes anywhere).
I'm also not real sure what safety benefit there is to seeing a photo online before I meet with someone. The real safety, IMO, is in the whole, meet the first time in a public place, drive yourself there and back, have a safe call the first time you're alone with the guy...those kinds of steps.
I wasn't going to run a background check on a dude before a first date. I didn't expect a higher level of personally identifying information than I want to put out there, and I'm not too keen to put my own details out there for the public to see. I did post photos, because hell I figured guys being how guys supposedly are, I wouldn't get very far without 'em...but I didn't give out my phone number until I'd met someone once and decided that I wanted to see them again. A lot of people call that paranoid, but I didn't care. It's just a piece of personal data, that could be used to dig up more, and I didn't need some rando blowing up my phone, either. And I can't be bothered with burner phones or Google numbers.
My methods must not have been too crazy, since it all worked out fine for me, I figure.
And I did message back and forth with a guy for a while, that I'd reached out to first, who had no photos, back when OKC allowed that (years ago.) I liked what he'd written about himself. He said he had decided not to use a photo because he was a high school teacher, and I can totally understand how it might go down if some HS kid lying about their age got on there and found his dating profile. For that matter, part of my relief at getting off OLD was the thought that my coworkers might come across mine. Especially with the kind of personal questions OKC asked, many of which were a bridge too far even for me.
Nope, another myth promoted on here. Filing does not equal initiating. Far cry from it.
Pretzel logic. You have it.
in·i·ti·ate
verb
/iˈniSHēˌāt/
1. cause (a process or action) to begin.
"he proposes to initiate discussions on planning procedures"
Similar: begin start off commence take action on usher in
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
Do you realize that not all single mothers were married to begin with?
That's a whole other issue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100
That only tells you who filed. It does not tell you who was more at "fault".
Thanks to changes in divorce laws that feminists wanted (eg. the creation of "no fault" divorce), who is at "fault" has no bearing on the subject.
----
And all 3 of you are being silly as you can very easily find the REASON women initiate divorce as often as they do. That's right, the women wanted out for various reasons, most commonly being they want the bs Eat Pray Love lifestyle thinking they can do better (hypergamy) and were simply bored or unhaaaaappy.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,614,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
It does nothing to add to my safety to see a pic before meeting at a public place to have a drink. I haven't used any dating sites with photo verification that I know of, maybe its an option I'm not aware of. It's just not a big deal to me. Others have other personal thresholds. Several women I've met have good reasons to not show their faces, whether its high profile public facing professions, stalkers exes, or very common ones: professors with students on the same site or people in open marriages where they don't want neighbors/co workers to know (though I often connect with their S/O before it goes anywhere).
There is never a good reason IMO for a man not to show his face online & in video if he expects to have a date with me...........ever.
edit: it makes no sense if he has to hide from a photo but he can meet in public for a drink ...laughs
in·i·ti·ate
verb
/iˈniSHēˌāt/
1. cause (a process or action) to begin.
"he proposes to initiate discussions on planning procedures"
Similar: begin start off commence take action on usher in
Statistics would say that my ex husband "initiated" our divorce, because he filed the papers.
I was the one who broke up with him, though. I spoke the words that ended our marriage. Past that point, we had no more relationship. It was over. I moved into another room of the house, we both started trying to date other people, and I later moved out. It took time to begin the legal process, because we had a lot of details we wanted to iron out without fighting and lawyering up over it and paying money that neither of us could afford to pay.
I don't argue the fact that I was the one who ended our marriage. Though the statistics would show otherwise, because he went to the courthouse and filed the initial paperwork.
Relationships are made of far more than legal documents. In fact, the legal documents are often little more than a formality, to formally agree on what happens next. Very often, both parties are in agreement that the relationship is over, long before anyone files anything.
The so oft-quoted statistic that women usually "initiate" divorce, just means that women file the papers...it wouldn't be easy to track anything else on a large scale. That just tells me that a woman is more apt to get off her backside and go complete an administrative errand.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,080,614 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76
Pretzel logic. You have it.
in·i·ti·ate
verb
/iˈniSHēˌāt/
1. cause (a process or action) to begin.
"he proposes to initiate discussions on planning procedures"
Similar: begin start off commence take action on usher in
.
Correct. So the person actually initiating a divorce does not neccesarily mean its the person filing for divorce.
For example, with a co worker, the guy abandoned his wife and three kids and moved in with a girlfriend.
He left the marriage = He initiated the divorce.
She filed because he wouldn't and she had to protect herself and the kids.
Thank you for showing that initiating divorce is not synonymous with filing for divorce.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
There is never a good reason IMO for a man not to show his face online & in video if he expects to have a date with me...........ever.
edit: it makes no sense if he has to hide from a photo but he can meet in public for a drink ...laughs
I explained examples of the good reasons. If you don't want to meet them, that's fine. I doubt they'll care. You do you.
And putting a photo with a profile where your patients or students can read all about you is a far cry from being seen in a café with someone. Huge difference. I understand it, I respect it.
Last edited by timberline742; 03-11-2020 at 12:19 PM..
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,614,519 times
Reputation: 7618
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I explained examples of the good reasons. If you don't want to meet them, that's fine. I doubt they'll care. You do you.
And putting a photo with a profile where your patients or students can read all about you is a far cry from being seen in a café with someone. Huge difference. I understand it, I respect it.
I'm engaged........I don't date anymore. BUT IMO it's total nonsense if a guy online can't give a picture or get in video...........if he expected me to meet him for a drink. He doesn't have to do it publically for everyone to see......he can send it to me separately.......laughs.
I'd be seeing him when we met for a drink anyway.......wouldn't I? So why is it a big deal to see a photo or video before the meeting?
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