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Is it really that bad? I have men friends who online date, they don't seem to do too bad with it. They aren't gorgeous or anything like that, just normal guys. But they are dating in their own range group, and are open to women with kids etc. My one friend is meeting lots of women the old fashioned way too, out at pubs and events etc. And he is in his early 50s.
Uh, no, its not that easy. I look good on paper (6'0", good career) and I can't get anywhere with it either.
Online dating is kind of like meeting a woman in a bar.
Let's say that as a man you're a "6" in terms of looks, humor, intelligence...the whole package. If you walk into a bar and talk to women that are "6's", you probably won't go very far. Women that are "6's" get attention from the least and most attractive men. Average to above average women are seen as attainable to less attractive men and relatively easy conquests for the hottest guys (whether this is true or not will vary depending on the lady in question).
Extremely attractive women get the most attention, but every guy is gong to shoot his shot with those types. Most men don't truly believe they're going to pull that supermodel sitting in the corner. The bookish girl next door however, every guy in the bar thinks he can pull her. It's why she almost never responds in OLD. She's got too many men in her face. For the average girl, it's akin to having a brand new Toyota available that only costs $99/month on one side. On the other side, the girl gets to test drive a Ferrari...and she could potentially own the car free of charge (no monthly payments and all maintenance costs are free), but she has to win several hands of poker to get the car and several more hands after that to get free maintenance. The girl currently has no car so she's trying to decide between something exciting where there's a number of unknowns but the visuals are amazing versus a sure-fire bet.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,020,723 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiangirl_2015
Is it really that bad? I have men friends who online date, they don't seem to do too bad with it. They aren't gorgeous or anything like that, just normal guys. But they are dating in their own range group, and are open to women with kids etc. My one friend is meeting lots of women the old fashioned way too, out at pubs and events etc. And he is in his early 50s.
Is it really that bad? I have men friends who online date, they don't seem to do too bad with it. They aren't gorgeous or anything like that, just normal guys. But they are dating in their own range group, and are open to women with kids etc. My one friend is meeting lots of women the old fashioned way too, out at pubs and events etc. And he is in his early 50s.
Definitely easier for men if they have realistic expectations. A lot of guys want the '5-4" 125 lb, 25-year old yoga instructor because she "seems" like just a regular nice lady. I learned in OLD, that's it's much easier to date between 3 years younger and up to about 12 years older. I'm in my early 30's and couldn't imagine dating a 22-year old, but I have many friends that wouldn't look at a woman over age 26
Right? The guys I know who like it aren't on Henry Cavill and Chris Evans level. They live in major cities and their experience seems to have the usual ups and downs of dating, but they do get dates. A lot of my dates would complain or vent about their dating experiences, so they were at least meeting people.
My husband's longest relationships started on OKC. Granted, as some have pointed out many times in these discussions, he's tall and good-looking, so of course he was successful. He was still very selective, and was less successful in areas that didn't yield high matches (super conservative and religious). So his success was dependent on various factors.
But being tall isn't "it," either. The more serious ex before him is 5'10" and not a super hot stud and he dated several women that he met on OKC.
Alot of women think men are just interested in a bootie call when it comes to online dating
Probably because a small percentage of men have lots of success with just getting booty calls. These are the kinds of guys that are so attractive, that they can be honest with a woman about their carnal intentions and still find women that are interested.
Most guys that want the same lifestyle have to lie in order get the same results. Rightly or wrongly, "regular" guys can't have sex when they want. Almost all women and really attractive men may not value flings as much because it's always there when they want action (even if they never actually go down that path). "Regular" guys place a higher value on it because they usually have to invest far more time, energy and money just to get dates, let alone physical relationships.
Chances are there are always less attractive girls for the less attractive guys. It typically evens out in the end.
Conversely, I made a POF profile almost 2 weeks ago and have some interesting options going on right now, but occasionally I get messages from girls that I would never bother talking to and so I am not likely to respond. It works both ways obviously.
Online dating is kind of like meeting a woman in a bar.
Let's say that as a man you're a "6" in terms of looks, humor, intelligence...the whole package. If you walk into a bar and talk to women that are "6's", you probably won't go very far. Women that are "6's" get attention from the least and most attractive men. Average to above average women are seen as attainable to less attractive men and relatively easy conquests for the hottest guys (whether this is true or not will vary depending on the lady in question).
Extremely attractive women get the most attention, but every guy is gong to shoot his shot with those types. Most men don't truly believe they're going to pull that supermodel sitting in the corner. The bookish girl next door however, every guy in the bar thinks he can pull her. It's why she almost never responds in OLD. She's got too many men in her face. For the average girl, it's akin to having a brand new Toyota available that only costs $99/month on one side. On the other side, the girl gets to test drive a Ferrari...and she could potentially own the car free of charge (no monthly payments and all maintenance costs are free), but she has to win several hands of poker to get the car and several more hands after that to get free maintenance. The girl currently has no car so she's trying to decide between something exciting where there's a number of unknowns but the visuals are amazing versus a sure-fire bet.
It depends on the bar, as far as the ratio of men to women at least in bars and clubs that fluctuates. So really, for a man OLD is still worse than bars/clubs. Assuming the guy isn't socially inept.
Whereas with OLD the ratio is always skewed to the tune of favoring women greatly. It never fluctuates or changes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiangirl_2015
Is it really that bad? I have men friends who online date, they don't seem to do too bad with it. They aren't gorgeous or anything like that, just normal guys. But they are dating in their own range group, and are open to women with kids etc. My one friend is meeting lots of women the old fashioned way too, out at pubs and events etc. And he is in his early 50s.
What age group? Keyword, open to women with kids. That's a huge distinction since online there's a huge single mom epidemic.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,020,723 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76
What age group? Keyword, open to women with kids. That's a huge distinction since online there's a huge single mom epidemic.
Having a child is not a disease.
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