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Why would you want to marry someone you barely know and are not in love with?
This mail order bride thing just baffles me. Men do it, but yet, you never see women ordering up a groom from Eastern Europe or Asia. Why is that? Surely they get "lonely" too?
I have to agree with this. To each their own, but I never understood as well. But for some people it does work, so I hear, so hey why not go for it.
This mail order bride thing just baffles me. Men do it, but yet, you never see women ordering up a groom from Eastern Europe or Asia. Why is that? Surely they get "lonely" too?
The men who do this obviously think of women and a wife as more of a commodity and less of a soulmate situation.
These are the people for whom the woman will always play the second banana.
Why would you want to marry someone you barely know and are not in love with?
This mail order bride thing just baffles me. Men do it, but yet, you never see women ordering up a groom from Eastern Europe or Asia. Why is that? Surely they get "lonely" too?
Similar as to why some women get a sperm donor. Tried the conventional way with no success. You can specify exactly what you require and minimise the games and guess work.
Tumblebug. Alot of wealthy men from the western world would not marry a prostitute or ex-prostitute. Whether you think that is right or wrong is near irrelevent, as its a fact.
I accidently repped you. My bad.
But I disagree - I would have agreed with you say, 5 years ago, but I've had a lot of eye opening experiences since then.
Prostitutes and ex-prostitutes aren't always spinsters - who do you think they are marrying, pray tell?
If you think a wealthy white man is 'smarter' than a poor native guy or even a poor white guy then I think you're wrong.
Love finds people.
Sex workers are pariahs in all cultures but they still are human, still fall in love and are loved and still marry.
Sometimes to men who never thought they could tolerate such a thing.
But I don't want to get too far off the issue, I am disgusted that the op mentions Thailand and people post about hookers immediately - it's a stereotype and really unfair.
Many girls work in shops or factories, these are the most desperate ones - I've been to Thailand - there are many women who, although poor, live without being caught up in the sex trade.
Similar as to why some women get a sperm donor. Tried the conventional way with no success. You can specify exactly what you require and minimise the games and guess work.
You mean these men want to marry someone just so they can have children? I guess that makes sense on some level... But adoption or a surrogate would have the same effect, with fewer long term complications.
You mean these men want to marry someone just so they can have children? I guess that makes sense on some level... But adoption or a surrogate would have the same effect, with fewer long term complications.
I was more drawing a parallel between some women who get a sperm donor and some men who obtain a mail order bride. While the desired outcome may not be the same, the similarity lies in that the filtering out process is done by a professional and efficient service. Where you can specify exactly what you require and remove hassle and guesswork.
NOTE: Blantent judgment following. I'm sure there are exceptions among the men who seek out mail-order brides, but the whole system is such that you have to be a certain type of man (one of whose company I would never seek) to go through with this sort of arrangement.
Frankly, if you're getting a mail-order bride, what right do you really have to be concerned about former prostitutes? You are hiring a live-in prostitute.
My 53 year old uncle married a mail order bride from the Philippines who is younger than me (I'm 23, for reference - we know she's younger but both are tight lipped about how old she actually is). The have a child together, but there's no love there. There's a whole heck of a lot of abuse among American men and the foreign women they marry because there is an expectation that the women be subservient. Many of the women, like my uncle's wife, are well educated and do not want to stay in the house cooking and cleaning. I took an entire class in college about the sociology of mail order brides when I found out what my uncle was looking for. Men too often are looking to buy a product, not marry a living, breathing being. As part of the class, I worked for a time in Boston for a nonprofit/women's shelter exclusively for international wives who were being abused (typically under threat of deportation and lack of access to their documents by their legal resident or citizen husbands). They weren't all mail-order brides of course, but the percentage considering how many mail-order brides are in this country was staggering. Obviously not every man who is in this sort of arrangement is an abuser, but the very language used to describe them: "submissive", "subservient to men", etc and the circumstances that drive a man to seek this out: fetish for Asian women, anger at American women, need to feel like they are in control, seeing their spouse as a commodity rather than a person - is incredibly foul, flawed, and misogynistic.
In my uncle's wife's family, there are 10 kids. 6 daughters. All the daughters are being groomed to be mail order brides. The 4 of them that are older than 20 are all married already. The youngest is the only one to refuse because she has seen how the careers and lives of her sisters have been stifled. The whole system is incredibly sad.
OP - I go on lots of first dates, fewer 2nd dates, and very few 3rd dates. That's how dating works. There are plenty of men who would have made fantastic partners who I simply didn't have chemistry with - even with spot-on looks, income, career path, cultural background, etc.
Frankly, if even 1% of the tone of your OP slipped into dating life, I probably wouldn't return a phone call either. And friend requesting? When you're just dating? Not a thing I would accept either (and probably would be put off by). Until I'm either in a serious relationship or have agreed to an otherwise polyamorous arrangement, I'm still dating other people. There's no way any of them are going to be my friend on Facebook when I'm not settled on one. You say that the goodbyes are awkward, but you go in for a kiss anyway. That would be a red flag to me too and I probably wouldn't call you back.
Why would you want to marry someone you barely know and are not in love with?
This mail order bride thing just baffles me. Men do it, but yet, you never see women ordering up a groom from Eastern Europe or Asia. Why is that? Surely they get "lonely" too?
Because love is overrated. If your whole marriage is based on "love" then you are sitting yourself up for disappointment. People fall in and out of love everyday like they're changing their underwear.
I ve had no luck with western women well American women in particular. I'm just clueless as to what they want. Here I am a nice job , a nice apartment, non violent don't drink too much and I can't seem to land a gal!? I'm the first to admit I'm not exactly Brad Pitt but there are other things in this world besides outward appearances.
Really this last couple dates I had broke the camels back so to speak. A nice dinner (not inexpensive) followed by a movie and some very awkward goodbyes where I was able to get a kiss on the lips from the 2nd date.
But again , no call backs no returned emails or replies to friendship requests on facebook.
I've decided American women are impossible to please. I've been reading up on Thai women and their culture is completely different to ours. From what I''m told via some online acquaintances I would be viewed as quite the catch by Thai standards. I make upwards of 70k , a stable personality, a home, a car etc. It feels right, especially since I've always favored Asian women and their natural tans compared with ginger or fair skinned American gals. Anywho I plan on traveling to Bangkok just after New Years to make some inquiries.
I'll keep you all updated wish me luck!
I think you made the good choice in looking out for your "mail order" wife in Thailand (could have been the Philippines too), because all the guys who tried Russian and East Europeans girls ended up with BIG problems, on the other hand the guys I know who married Asian women don't seem to have trouble (the worse thing that can happen is that she asks you to send a 100 $ Western Union check each month to help her family back in the country!). Eastern Europeans women on the other hand (save the Poles maybe-Catholic upbringing-?) have no qualms marrying US and West Europens citizens just to get green card or work papers, and then bye bye they leave the guy after having sucked most of his money.
What do you mean then by women who "get a sperm donor"? You mean women who marry for reasons other than love? Sure, I guess that happens on the rare occasion, but every single married and divorced person I know was in love at the time they made the choice to get married. So I daresay the so-called "sperm donor" marriage may be an exagerrated meme.
I fail to see the equivalent between a marriage that both parties go into willingly and without financial coersion, but that eventually goes sour, and one where one party is being paid and there is no expectation of love for either person.
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best thing is travelling to Yhailand yourself
