Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Mistakes are something you do once maybe twice and learn from it. If I were dating I would prefer to be with someone like me who has no debt or little debt, has a job, isn't a 17 year old stuck in a adult body. Why should I go date/marry a person who likes to party, is in huge debt, and has no job?
Has nothing to do with wanting someone who is "perfect."
There are just some things people don't want to put up with in their lives. There is a BIG difference between making a mistake and being a habitual screw up or being irresponsible.
There's also a big difference between a mistake that can be easily put behind you with no future ramifications, and one that will have fallout for years to come. It sucks, but it's true.
While perusing the relationship forum, I have come to the conclusion that the posters here want perfect people. It's almost as if posters here would only consider people who have never made a bad decision in their lives.
That, in itself, is a bad decision.
Never mind glass houses, the people who are that persnickety will get no mercy themselves when--not if, but WHEN--they make a mistake.
While perusing the relationship forum, I have come to the conclusion that the posters here want perfect people. It's almost as if posters here would only consider people who have never made a bad decision in their lives.
It does seem that way. In general, people are far more judgmental about others than they are about themselves.
But consider that what people say and what people do are often different things. When someone meets someone they really like, they tend to be a lot more forgiving.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,147,805 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty
While perusing the relationship forum, I have come to the conclusion that the posters here want perfect people. It's almost as if posters here would only consider people who have never made a bad decision in their lives.
Is that really the case? If someone is in debt, for example, does that mean that they deserve to be alone for the rest of there lives? It is possible for people to make bad decisions, learn from them and move on. Why do people act as if mistakes are deal breakers when it comes to finding a mate?
I think those people watched too many Seinfeld reruns, personally. :/
Did you ever see all the excuses they came up with in that show NOT to continue seeing someone?
"She a wonderful girl, but she has man hands." and other such sillimess.
It is possible for someone to make a mistake, learn from it and move on.
I think it comes down to where you are in your mistake, take that debt for example, if you incurred it by betting on horses that lose races, as an example, and you have people looking to break your legs because it is now something most of the world would see as a lot of money - say 100K and growing - yep, you would be lucky to find anyone wanting to work that hard to be with a veritable stranger.
On the other hand, if you made your mistake, and have now almost paid it off, it should be easy for you to find someone interested in seeing beyond that mistake.
It does seem that way. In general, people are far more judgmental about others than they are about themselves.
But consider that what people say and what people do are often different things. When someone meets someone they really like, they tend to be a lot more forgiving.
No one's perfect, but there's also major differences:
A- got arrested for smoking a joint at 19, hasn't been arrested since
B- 35 years old and in and out of jail to this very day
A- let go from a job to care for a dying relative
B- let go from multiple jobs for various reasons
A- debt from student loans trying to better their life
B- debt from serial gambling
Everyone makes mistakes, but mistakes have consequences. But there's also a difference between making a mistake and learning from it, versus making multiple mistakes and never learning from them. Scenario A indicates a mistake and learning from it. Scenario B indicates a pattern. Mistakes =/= patterns.
I think most of the examples given ITT are not really 'mistakes'. They are more like 'having serious unaddressed issues'. And that is the problem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89
And this forum is, of course, the fountain of the one true wisdom!
You know it! You should make that your status line .
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
