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I'll never understand the concept of keeping serious friendships with exes (especially ones who are sexually suggestive). It's asking for trouble and shows a lack of respect for his/her partner. I would suspect he is keeping his options open in case things don't work out.
Something tells me he's keeping his options open, whether or not things don't work out
Dating a divorced guy who had a few mistresses in the past and loads of former girlfriends.
He tells me he want to have a SERIOUS relationship which is cool with me.
He is VERY VERY VERY friendly will A LOTTTTTTTTTT of X-GF's and X-Mistresses.
On his facebook I feel these ladies show me no respect knowing that he is dating me with remarks that are very sexual and just pushing it. When i tell him how I feel he told me that i sound jealous of women who are not with him any longer and i need to tuffen up and stop being insecure .
I am having second thoughts. I really like him but.............
I'll tell you a true story I've posted once before, however, you might want to use a map and some push pins to keep track of it.
My mother was my father's first wife. My father was an EXTREME screw around. At one point he was even seeing my brother's future mother in law's sister and her best friend at the same time while carrying on another affair he was having with a woman he worked with (who ended up working for him at his company). Let's refer to them as Mistress 1, 2 & 3.
He eventually moved out and moved in with mistress 2 and came home and announced at Easter dinner he and my mother were getting a divorce and I remember blurting outloud "Thank God!" Thing was he continued having his affair with mistress 3. My mother left and left him the house (which was a mansion on the river) and everything in it - she felt it belonged to all of us and he'd take care of us kids - yeah right. Two of us were grown and already out of the house.
He had what appeared to be a Christmas Party one year and all three of the mistresses were there. Ah, but it wasn't just a Christmas party - it was an engagement party whereby he announced his engagement to Mistress #2. The look on mistress #3's face made me turn away giggling and I went into the hall bathroom and I know everyone could hear me busting up laughing - I laughed so hard it hurt. Due to the fact that Mistress #3 was a total beosh and a pain in my rear end. He used to tell her he was with me when he was with one of his other mistresses so she was under the impression he spent all this time on me and the receipts she found for gifts she thought were for me. She also used to refer to him as "Your Daddy" which I hated immensely - even I didn't call him that, in fact, my brother's and I called him by his first name. So to listen to "your daddy this, and your daddy that" was annoying as hell.
This box of rocks, mistress #3 continued to carry on an affair with my father after he married mistress #2 after he told her some BS story. Well, married mistress #2 found out about mistress #3. One Saturday my father called me at the office and asked me to stop over to the house on my way home. I walked in shut the door and it echoed. Married mistress #2 had cleaned out this entire huge house, including the nails for the pictures in the wall, while he was at work. I was never more impressed with someone in my life. I had liked her - but after that she was my hero. He was sitting on the steps to formal living room - the only place he could sit and after saying, "OMG!" I looked at him and said, "Can't say as you didn't deserve it." He said, "Yeah, I know." Then I helped him get a mattress out of the attic.
But wait....it gets better.
Mistress #3 now was the cheese that stood alone to swoop in (with a few dabbles with Mistress #1). Her dreams of being queen of that manor and all the perks that went along with it - jewels, furs and country clubs. Well, oops, a few financial misteps on his part and a second divorce just cleaned him completely out. Oh, they got married, but the punchline...they live in a small condo and he's unemployed and now on social security and she had to become the sole breadwinner of the family.
The stories I could tell you of some of the affairs he had prior to these three were pretty outrageous too.
Now this is a fairly extreme dysfunctional situation, but it's just to show you what you could be in for when you date an ego and not a man.
I have no problem with a guy who has a lot of ex's because he was looking for nothing serious.
I WOULD have a problem with a guy who allows improper behavior when he is supposed to be in a serious relationship.
By having a problem I mean I would stop seeing him. There would be no requests. If he can't determine how to treat me properly, then we really have nothing to discuss.
Thursday007...Great post! Probably more than applicable to this OP. OP, do what you know you should do. If you don't, you're volunteering for more of the same.
The fact he told you to "toughen up" about this is a huge red flag.
The problem is not yours, it's his. Like I said, he's proven he has no integrity.
If it were me, I'd draw a line in the sand. You'll find out very quickly just how serious he really is.
If he refuses to put your feelings ahead of all the ex's in his life then walk. No, run.
I really hate when people (this man w/ all the exes for example) exhibit mean/rude/disrespectful behavior, but then they attempt to make the other person (the OP in this example) feel as though THEY are the one with the bad behavior (ie jealousy) ......
seriously, this guy is acting like a jerk, and then he's making the OP feel as though she is the one who is wrong??
Thursday007...Great post! Probably more than applicable to this OP. OP, do what you know you should do. If you don't, you're volunteering for more of the same.
I LOVED this line from her post:
Now this is a fairly extreme dysfunctional situation, but it's just to show you what you could be in for when you date an ego and not a man.
GF'S are gals he dated when he was not married Mistresses are women he dated and had a ffairs with when he was married.
As a father of 3 daughters let me say that I think you should stop dating ANYONE until you gain some self respect. Then you should work on your reasoning skills. You actually think a man who showed such disrespect for his wife is all of a sudden going to show respect for you? You do realize dont you, that just because a skunk is white/black instead of black/white, HE"S STILL A SKUNK???
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