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It's not about creating the detachment all the time. It's about realizing when having sex with someone you love will feel a certain way and come with certain emotional obligations (which may turn out in the long run and may not) and realizing that sometimes there will be people who come into your life in a sexual capacity and you may not feel that strongly about them. And that the latter is okay.
You can create sexual relationships with people who you dont love and be better for the experience and learn that sex does not always need to end in some type of long term commitment.
I am saying that these types of experiences will allow women to step away from sex having to be the end all be all.
Why? Why does it matter if some women put more emphasis on waiting for sex until they have an emotional attachment to someone? There is nothing wrong with emotional attachments (or obligations - whatever that means.) It kind of sounds like you are afraid of emotional attachments. Why?
For the record - I don't think there is a right way or a wrong way for everyone in terms of their sex lives - but I do think that there are right ways and wrong ways for each individual person. I guess I just don't understand why you would want someone to change what is right or wrong for them? I don't really think you would know what's better for them than they know themselves.
No, it's because I knew if I posted this thread everyone (men and women included) would take the detachment statement and start throwing the sl*t and wh**e words around. Which is exactly what happened.
It's happening everywhere but people still panic at the thought of a women having commitment/emotionally detached sex with someone.
Heaven forbid a woman have sex like a man! Maybe she just wants to get hers and she doesn't care if he ever calls again. I know women like this. What's the big deal? Men do it all the time. Women expect men to behave like this. Yet if a woman does it, she's some kind of ****. The dark ages were over a long time ago. I wish people would catch up.
Why? Why does it matter if some women put more emphasis on waiting for sex until they have an emotional attachment to someone? There is nothing wrong with emotional attachments (or obligations - whatever that means.) It kind of sounds like you are afraid of emotional attachments. Why?
For the record - I don't think there is a right way or a wrong way for everyone in terms of their sex lives - but I do think that there are right ways and wrong ways for each individual person. I guess I just don't understand why you would want someone to change what is right or wrong for them? I don't really think you would know what's better for them than they know themselves.
OMG it was a hypothetical question.
What if women thought about sex the same way men can (do)?
That's it. Simple. Not about changing people. Just wondering what people thought. Apparently the world would be in pandemonium with s*uts and w*ores running rampid.
Seems the idea has struck a negative chord in everyone.
I mean really, if women could think of sex in the same light as (most) men, think about how much easier life would be. There wouldn't be the millions of threads about boyfriends looking at other women, porn being a form of cheating, how guys are d-bags for engaging in FWB and one night stands, the list goes on and on and on.
I have managed to disconnect a lot of the emotional attachment that goes along with sex (unless I am in a relationship with someone I love) and let me tell you how much easier it is. I know women are going to say they prefer the obsessive neurotic behavior because it somehow elevates their ability to "feel" to a level that far surpasses that of a man, but really, all of the BS that goes along with that "connection" we're supposed to have during intercourse really just muddies the waters and complicated the he** out of sex for everyone.
What if women could step away from that, have sex and not necessarily have emotional attachments, but rather, to fulfill a need.
Thoughts?
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185
It's not about creating the detachment all the time. It's about realizing when having sex with someone you love will feel a certain way and come with certain emotional obligations (which may turn out in the long run and may not) and realizing that sometimes there will be people who come into your life in a sexual capacity and you may not feel that strongly about them. And that the latter is okay.
You can create sexual relationships with people who you dont love and be better for the experience and learn that sex does not always need to end in some type of long term commitment.
I am saying that these types of experiences will allow women to step away from sex having to be the end all be all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185
OMG it was a hypothetical question.
What if women thought about sex the same way men can (do)?
That's it. Simple. Not about changing people. Just wondering what people thought. Apparently the world would be in pandemonium with s*uts and w*ores running rampid.
Seems the idea has struck a negative chord in everyone.
It doesn't really sound hypothetical. It sounds like you have shied away from emotional attachments and think that the world would be a better place if women were more like you.
There are lots of women that use sex the same way that you do. I've never heard them called bad names. I feel like that has to do more with the class or social circle of people than their sexual lifestyle. I've rarely heard a lawyer called a sl*t or a college professor called a wh*re. And in the theatre world - those terms are compliments.
Like I said before - I treat sex the way that makes the most sense to me. I would advise all people to do the same. Some people aren't capable of emotional detachment - and to try would be devastating to them. Some people aren't capable of emotional attachment and to try would only hurt those they get involved with.
I think nature made men and women approach sex differently, not ALL men or ALL women but imagine if everyone approached sex without emotion...all we'd do is have sex.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185
OMG it was a hypothetical question.
What if women thought about sex the same way men can (do)?
That's it. Simple. Not about changing people. Just wondering what people thought. Apparently the world would be in pandemonium with s*uts and w*ores running rampid.
Seems the idea has struck a negative chord in everyone.
Maybe you put people on the wrong foot because you suggested that your way was better in your OP, that 'if only women were like me, their lives would be better...' so it's natural people would react this way.
Maybe you put people on the wrong foot because you suggested that your way was better in your OP, that 'if only women were like me, their lives would be better...' so it's natural people would react this way.
I was stating that I have managed (in some relationships) to remove emotional expectations from a sexual relationship and it's been a positive thing for me (less drama, obligation, etc). Obviously this isn't going to work for everyone, but I was posing a question asking what it would be like if all women were this way. Apparently, it would be a sad state of affairs.
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