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Let me ask other readers this, is the world really this SELFISH? We really do live in a ME, ME, ME, ME world. Very sad post.[/quote]
I think we do live in a ME ME ME world. Now we don't know the op's backround. Maybe she was the fool in her previous relations. Sometimes a person who has been screwed too many times starts to think if you can't beat em , join 'em. If someone's going to get screwed , I am the first person to step in , if it's a friend or my business besides. I don't shy away from confrontation. (Nor do I force it either)
BUT what Im getting to is there comes a point when you do focus on ME ME ME and f*uck the rest of the world.
We don't know if the op's husband has cheated and this is a tit for tat. Sure doesn't sound like the case. Let her do this and send her stbex MY way. If he's good to me (or more realistically another man is)s , I will be good to him. But I will no longer be a fool , Do on to others as they do onto you the good and the bad.
Selfish will be my new middle name. But I will not be like that with decent people. You all who have someone good , that goes for you op , too , recognise it , hang onto it and don't F it up - there are women out there , like me , ready to take your place when you F up. . . .
I don't believe so, it's the acting upon your imaginings that is the cheating part.
Apparently there's a grey area to this to the masses, even though I believe no one takes too kindly to knowing that your spouse is thinking about someone else romantically or sexually. Watching porn also comes to my mind regarding this. Personally, I think it's all wrong.
To asitshouldbe, only you can make the final decisions for yourself. Just be careful & chose wisely. And it never hurts to seek an outside source for unbiased opinions such as a counselor, pastor, or even your family physician (you may be simply experiencing a slight case of depression). But be wary of accepting a perfect strangers advise... especially on here.
He has a point, although you might not want to ask them what they think if you decide that's the case.
I've found many of them that think they are righteous & their sh** don't stink.
Obviously you've never come to my apartment about 10 hours after I've had a Chipotle.
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1) asitshouldbe - First I have to ask you, because I didn't read all of the posts on your thread (too many to read), but do you have family or friends near you? I myself don't and it makes it very hard when your only loved one is away.
You're right, marriages should only be abided by when they are convenient.
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Trust me though, I ruined 2 marriages by cheating
You sound very trustworthy to me.
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being the girlfriend of a construction worker, I've heard the stories about all the men/women workers who do their fair share of cheating. So, why are you coming down on asitshouldbe??
Yep it's totally ok to assume your spouse is cheating when it supports your lack of self control. Good point
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4) Do any of you idiots reading & replying to everyone's posts on this site have nothing better to do than ridicule them or beat them down by making them feel worse than they probably already feel, but can't admit.
Nope
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maybe you've forgotten the mistakes you've made in the past,
Nah I think I would remember betraying someone I loved, especially if we were married.
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or maybe you're just too afraid to admit that you're just like us...
Actually come to think of it you're right! I'm exactly like you. When my girlfriend was diagnosed with cancer I immediately started cheating because cancer is inconvenient.
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breathing, living, human beings put on this rock and given "FREE WILL" ,
They were also given a conscience. Well, at least some of us were...
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And it never hurts to seek an outside source for unbiased opinions such as a counselor, pastor, or even your family physician (you may be simply experiencing a slight case of depression).
Those are very good resources for unbiased opinions regarding desecrating your marriage.
I don't judge the woman for being this way, but I am sad for her...and her husband. I don't think I'm superior in ANY way...you would only know this if you knew me, but I am accepting of most things. You ruined two marriages with cheating, so let me ask you, do you ever think that cheating is justified? It kinda sounds like you do, but clarification might help here.
I know my experiences tell me (along with my own standards of living) that cheating is bad...real bad. My mother ruined her marriage to my father...I didn't judge her but her selfishness was overwhelming and it had a huge effect on dad and us. I do hate the act of cheating. I can hate the act and not hate the person...but I will always have some reserve for that person b/c I have to wonder "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" And this may be just me but, I don't think your spouse cheating on you gives you the right to do it yourself. You should hold yourself in higher regard.
I'm really sorry if you think that's an unacceptable point of view...but again, we can only go by the limited information and smug retorts she offered. I don't care for it and I never will.
As John Mayer sang, " half of my heart wont do..."
John Mayer would do it.
Since "Like" people attract i wouldn't be surprised if the OPs husband is already doing the same thing. The one Cheating couple that I know fits this scenario: They complain about each other, but would never get a divorce, as nobody else would have them. They both know the other one is fooling around but are in denial.
Let me ask other readers this, is the world really this SELFISH? We really do live in a ME, ME, ME, ME world. Very sad post.
I think we do live in a ME ME ME world. Now we don't know the op's backround. Maybe she was the fool in her previous relations. Sometimes a person who has been screwed too many times starts to think if you can't beat em , join 'em. If someone's going to get screwed , I am the first person to step in , if it's a friend or my business besides. I don't shy away from confrontation. (Nor do I force it either)
BUT what Im getting to is there comes a point when you do focus on ME ME ME and f*uck the rest of the world.
We don't know if the op's husband has cheated and this is a tit for tat. Sure doesn't sound like the case. Let her do this and send her stbex MY way. If he's good to me (or more realistically another man is)s , I will be good to him. But I will no longer be a fool , Do on to others as they do onto you the good and the bad.
Selfish will be my new middle name. But I will not be like that with decent people. You all who have someone good , that goes for you op , too , recognise it , hang onto it and don't F it up - there are women out there , like me , ready to take your place when you F up. . . .
Tit for tat...here's another one: two wrongs don't make a right. If someone cheated on you you either commit to forgiving them 100% or you move on. You don't stay in the relationship and cheat to give them a taste of their own medicine.
Tit for tat...here's another one: two wrongs don't make a right. If someone cheated on you you either commit to forgiving them 100% or you move on. You don't stay in the relationship and cheat to give them a taste of their own medicine.
Right , Im just saying , it may be the case and that is why the op obviously feels this is ok behavior. Don't you wish you had a husband like hers? (Granted , all we know is he's hard working) Im trying to tell the op there are women who would gladly take her place so she shouldn't risk her marriage.
But you know , sometimes men pine for women who screw them over (if they even leave. ) She (op) may get away with this just fine. However , I think it's likely the beginning of the end of her marriage if she does this.
Like one other poster said "do you , op , like spending his $?" True , if she does , she may be risking that as well. She's got a reason for cheating as opposed to leaving . . .(in her mind , a motivation.)
I have a thread that some of your followers have commented on. Although they do make some valid points... they don't always understand what you might be going thru and I've found many of them that think they are righteous & their sh** don't stink.
I just have to say/ask ALL OF YOU...
1) asitshouldbe - First I have to ask you, because I didn't read all of the posts on your thread (too many to read), but do you have family or friends near you? I myself don't and it makes it very hard when your only loved one is away.
2) asitshouldbe - Have you ever considered "taking care of yourself" when your husband is away? My boyfriend was overseas for almost 4 months of the first 16 months we were a couple and he still travels occasionally, but now I go with him when possible. I KNOW HOW LONELY IT CAN BE. Trust me though, I ruined 2 marriages by cheating (and by marrying men who weren't right for me). But there are plenty of "toys" out there to help subdue some of your loss; at least your physical/sexual loss of a spouse.
3) For whoever told her, "My state of *** is over run w/ oil field workers. Loss of the life as we knew it is hard enough....add to that someone like you that truly doesn't deserve a husband working like a "tool" to keep you in hearth and home.....sort of makes me ill. Where are your morals??" First, do you know what life is like for the spouse of an oil field, construction worker or any dangerous job employee? (Long hours, days/weeks/months apart) Second, while the spouse is at home worrying they're also "holding down the fort". Third, being the girlfriend of a construction worker, I've heard the stories about all the men/women workers who do their fair share of cheating. So, why are you coming down on asitshouldbe?? I'm not saying he is, but you don't know enough about their relationship to know if he might be cheating on her.
4) Do any of you idiots reading & replying to everyone's posts on this site have nothing better to do than ridicule them or beat them down by making them feel worse than they probably already feel, but can't admit. (Plenty of you have done it to me.) Maybe your advise comes from true care & concern, but I tend to think it comes from you thinking your better than any of us, maybe you've forgotten the mistakes you've made in the past, or maybe you're just too afraid to admit that you're just like us... breathing, living, human beings put on this rock and given "FREE WILL" , depending on your belief in The God, a god/goddess, single cell creatures from the oceans, or even aliens.
To asitshouldbe, only you can make the final decisions for yourself. Just be careful & chose wisely. And it never hurts to seek an outside source for unbiased opinions such as a counselor, pastor, or even your family physician (you may be simply experiencing a slight case of depression). But be wary of accepting a perfect strangers advise... especially on here.
Name calling is not necessary and says more about you than us.
Just sayin'....
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