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Ok really... Gay biker , teenage girl ? Im posting all this from a damn Iphone !! If i can short cut what i have to type and be sure u all will still get what im saying then i will ! And in the world of text mesages who doesnt use lol !!! Anyway , i only say unplanned because thats what it was ! In fact we found out she was PREGNANT the same month i had my vasectomy scheduled , i had to call and cancel it until we knew what was going on ! Its now rescheduled for july ! We were two people who like kids but didnt really want to change our selfish ways so hadnt planned on having any ? But 5 months in we are both very excited now . I just had know idea how much she would change while pregnat and some friends both guys and gals that i told what was happening laughed and said " Oh yea u might as well sell those toys and forget u ever had a life ur going to be working all the OT u can get and the only happiness u will have now is ur child ! I then started saying nope not me we will be fine and they say she wont ever what to go ride and if i go after working all week and not being around much it will be hell to pay after ? Not a week later she started in about me selling my bike and i got nervous !! The guys act like they are happy to be at work and some of the gals said things like " i was that way when i was a young mom but now i look back and it was silly he ( now being thier ex-husband) just felt suffocated and if you just hang in there maybe she will come out of it Some Day !!! I thought **** what do i do so since i dont think nows the best time to talk about it with her i act like everything is fine and post this to see what random people think !!
Ok really... Gay biker , teenage girl ? Im posting all this from a damn Iphone !! If i can short cut what i have to type and be sure u all will still get what im saying then i will ! And in the world of text mesages who doesnt use lol !!! Anyway , i only say unplanned because thats what it was ! In fact we found out she was PREGNANT the same month i had my vasectomy scheduled , i had to call and cancel it until we knew what was going on ! Its now rescheduled for july ! We were two people who like kids but didnt really want to change our selfish ways so hadnt planned on having any ? But 5 months in we are both very excited now . I just had know idea how much she would change while pregnat and some friends both guys and gals that i told what was happening laughed and said " Oh yea u might as well sell those toys and forget u ever had a life ur going to be working all the OT u can get and the only happiness u will have now is ur child ! I then started saying nope not me we will be fine and they say she wont ever what to go ride and if i go after working all week and not being around much it will be hell to pay after ? Not a week later she started in about me selling my bike and i got nervous !! The guys act like they are happy to be at work and some of the gals said things like " i was that way when i was a young mom but now i look back and it was silly he ( now being thier ex-husband) just felt suffocated and if you just hang in there maybe she will come out of it Some Day !!! I thought **** what do i do so since i dont think nows the best time to talk about it with her i act like everything is fine and post this to see what random people think !!
Just4fun, I think you have your answer. You know what you need to do (wait this out a little longer, respect her but don't make a drastic decision yet, figure out for yourself what this life change looks like and what YOUR new normal will be, don't leave your wife for being scared or irrational or demanding... those things can be worked out maybe through counseling, maybe just time)
People have called you a lot of names and assumed things about you. I think you sound like a reasonable guy with a hobby and a hormonal wife who is feeling threatened and is getting and itch to claim his freedom while he "still can" But just remember you are already in this and whatever decision you make you are the father of a child for a lifetime.
I just keep hearing your Valley Girl voice in my head.
I know, right?
Are you talking to me? Whenever someone puts a question mark behind they're sentences, they are making a question statement, meaning, I don't know...or what do you think?
and if you are talking to me, I'm not a Valley Girl, I'm a 63 year old woman....
Hormones. Try to just be understanding of all the chemicals your wife's body is sending through her system to support the growth of your baby. This is a whole new look at the world for her, and she has to be feeling very uncertain, with lots of fear about the future. Give things time to settle down. Be reassuring. Be kind. You are confident, but perhaps she thinks you are not understanding the depth of parenthood's responsibility that she sees and might feel overwhelmed from.
Acknowledge to her that this is changing your lives together, and let her know how big this is, but encourage her to understand that you do recognize it and won't take risks. (I'm assuming you are a safe biker and wear a helmet?)
My uncle drove a harley with my aunt from their high school years until his back gave out and he could no longer hold it up -- I think he was in HIS late 50s. They went on country-wide caravans with their club from the early 1950s, and raised four healthy, happy children. Aunt Pat was so comfortable on the back that she often fell asleep as they rode.
The kids would just wave good bye and look forward to hearing all about it when the folks got back.
Are you talking to me? Whenever someone puts a question mark behind they're sentences, they are making a question statement, meaning, I don't know...or what do you think?
and if you are talking to me, I'm not a Valley Girl, I'm a 63 year old woman....
No, I was referring to the OP's posts. Read them and you will see what I mean.
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