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Well, it wasn't meant as a sexist remark, just acknowledging a strength that women have that I personally don't believe comes naturally to men. That was my only point. How any single men who aren't widows do you see raising kids alone? Not many. Women do it all the time. It is what it is.
I would tend to agree with the bolded for the most part. I didn't get sexist at all. People are too quick to drop the "ism" and "ist" labels too quickly.
Just college is going to cost most of 500k. My nephew is a Jr. and looking now and not even the best schools (with all costs included) are roughly 55-60k a year, that's at least a quarter million.
Have the kid born now, and that will easily be 500k in 18 years.
Then, you know, the costs to get them to 18.
This.
My kids are pretty expensive. Even to go out to eat is three times the cost. But my kids eat well for kids, think lobster and crab cakes. They don't eat mac n cheese, hot dogs or chicken nuggets. Which sounded like a great idea as toddlers...
Hopefully he can get scholarship, not everyone can. One can't assume it.
And you're within you're right to do what you will, of course, but in our family (extended) generally we're told we're on our own for grad school, but undergrad will be covered under the notion it is the parents responsibility to get the child to a place where they can be self sufficient and undergrad is really a minimum skill set and has been for quite awhile, and not going to college is not an option. It never even crossed my mind it was an option and I don't know any relative that hasn't done undergrad, and most more, the majority of my ants/uncles have MDs/PhDs.. I went to a state school because of the program, so I was cheap, my brother went to a much better small private liberal arts school, I wouldn't have liked it there, but it was a better school, and of course he was much smarter. I also went to a state grad school, and most of that was covered by TA ships, but I covered the rest.
I would love to pay for my kids college but it won't be realistic for me to do so. Unless some miracle happens.
Physically/healthwise, it is not a good idea at all to wait until age 47. Biology doesn't care how much money you have in the bank or how expensive college is.
This.
There is a probable chance I will be able to attend my grandchildrens weddings and still have my wits. I do have friends that are grandparents in their early 40's.
I would love to pay for my kids college but it won't be realistic for me to do so. Unless some miracle happens.
I decided with all of mine not to pay for college unless they got in, got serious, and were bringing me good enough grades for me to dig into my savings to pay for some/all of their degrees. I paid for college for myself (am still paying for grad school), so they can do it, too.
I do, however, offer them free room and board while in college (I have one who just started this semester) and that's a huge savings. If a kid cannot attend a local, affordable school (if there are no scholarships to help fund a more expensive university) and pay for it while living at home for free, then that kid doesn't need to be in college.
The kid needs to go work for a year or two and get his/her head on straight.
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One last thing people overestimate the importance of Fathers.
My Dad died when I was 16. He gave birth to me, worked long enough to buy his family a house. All four of his kids went on to get graduate degrees and did just fine.
My Mom God Bless her soul had no money but did the best she could and we helped her more than she helped us after my Father died.
As someone who got married later in life and had kids later in life. There is a difference. Yes I am a little older than some other Parents and maybe get tired a little quicker after a long day. But I also have a great job and a few million in the bank and paid off homes and cars. Which is weird as I live in a modest home and drive a modest car and the other younger parents complain about mortages and car loans I just shake my head and pretend it is an issue.
Anyone who every attended a financial planning workshop for college will know that SS payments are exempt as income on the financial aid forms. Any financial advisor will tell you dont have your first kid till at least 47 as it makes no financial sense.
You were Lucky.
Girl that lived across from me growing up had an old father. He died when she was 12. He was sick for years and she missed out on that father experience. She had her first kid at 15. Was in prison by 20. Had her second kid at 28. She just died of a heroin overdose in August.
Well, it wasn't meant as a sexist remark, just acknowledging a strength that women have that I personally don't believe comes naturally to men. That was my only point. How any single men who aren't widows do you see raising kids alone? Not many. Women do it all the time. It is what it is.
That's where our opinions differ - I don't think women are naturally better at raising children than men are. It's true, there are more single mothers than single dads around but I believe this has a lot to do with our society, culture and upbringing and is not necessarily down to nature. Anyway, I think the discussion is turning too offtopic - I wasn't trying to have a go at you by the way, I just wanted to stand up for all the men out there who are (or would be) great fathers!
Folks, college or no college...kids ARE expensive.
I don't even think that's debatable, unless you either are on assistance and keeping your children alive that way, or have very, very, very low standards.
I was done having kids in my early 30's and very much looking forward to an empty nest. I won't date anyone that wants kids. Right now, I won't even date guys that have kids either, but that is a another conversation.
Crap... Old thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
I don't know. Desperation?
People like to say only women have biological clocks, but I have known so many men for whom a terrifying alarm goes off at a certain point and it's "ZOMG...I totally forgot to have children/get married." (One, the other or both.)
ETA: Argh, I just quoted and answered a post from 2012.
Yep, this is an old thread, resurrected this week by a new member. Since the thread has been reactivated it was veered off-topic. Also, it's not really a [romantic] Relationships topic. I think it's best to lock it at this time.
.
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