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Why would a younger woman go out with a 40, 50, 60, 70 year old man? Those men are fooling themselves. Unless they have Mark Zuckerberg money, young women aint checking for them.
really, the only opinions that matter in this decision are the couple and their family doctor. life is short, chart your own waters, find your bliss, and don't live your life according to other people's expectations.
The family doctor can provide a small amount of insight in to the matter. He doesn't have a crystal ball. Heck he could have a dad come in to his office with a brain that was already starting to develop as yet undetected changes associated with Alzheimer's.....the doctor wouldn't know that. I've known school aged kids with dads with Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia.
A financial planner would be the best place to start for those of you who think it is okay to have kids in your late fifties place. What would happen if the man becomes ill, needs round the clock care at the same time you have school age children. That could eat trhough the money fast even for people who considered themselves to be in a good financial position.
If the dad is no longer working, and is on Medicare, where are the kids getting their health insurance. Is mom working, as well as caring for an elderly spouse and young children. Getiing private insurance can be very expensive.
Is the mom really effectively able to care for an elderly man and her young kids at the same time.
I'd hope that the needs of the children would be factored into any such decision, rather than the whims of an aging man.
I know elementary age kids who recently lost their dad who was in his sixties...very sad.
Yes, technically a man can father a child at any age. But I definitely agree with you, it isn't the healthiest thing in the world for the child. Plus the thought of it alone is an absolute turn-off. lol
70 year old sperm probably rolls in under 5mph on a Hoverround.
Oh my. Sooo funny. I immediately wondered if they all had the special cup holder and travel storage bag, too. Can't have a Hoverround without the cool Hoverround swag...
When I was on Match, I always thought it was pretty strange when I would get emails from men in their late 40s and early 50s, and they said they were "definitely" interested in having children (I was 32). I didn't take this to mean they would accept if I already had kids, or as a declaration that they already had kids. I took it as "I want to make (more) kids." It always made me run the other way, though.
The guy I did end up with is 10 years older than me (he's 43), and even his profile made me a little nervous. When it came to having kids, "unsure, but probably not" was his answer. He told me that if he met the right woman and she really, really wanted a child, he would do it. I looked at him like he was a nutter! That definitely made me think many of these men say they are okay with having kids because they don't want to limit their dating pool to women their age. He said he had a really difficult time finding a good match for him in his age group.
It is his choice. But even though men don't have a biological clock, it's still not common for a man to start a family at 50. You might not even be able to play the field that long..
I never said it was common, it's possible though and that's my point.
It's Advantage men have and it's within their right to use it(not every man does though)
Ruined lives, honestly? Please don't ever have children. My husband has an amazing career and had his first child (by choice) at 27. Career keeps getting better and we even added another one. They only "ruin" careers if they aren't planned for in an adequate and realistic fashion.
So he had his career in Tact before he had the first kid? If that's the case then he's very smart. If more men adopted this strategy this country would be FAR better off.
Having kids at a later age is just as expensive.How have kids derailed career plans?
The article you talk about is mostly talking about very wealthy people. It would seem to be more doable for those types, except their children would face a very real possibility of having a dad who had consider limitations. You can't really know that you'll be physically able to toss around a football with your kid or shoot hoops when you start having your kids in your late fifties or early sixties. I don't know..that seems like a big loss to me.
exactly, but the man with his career in tact he will be more financially stable and ready to care for that child.
As for ruining lives, millions of parents over the years had to put their dreams of school on hold or leave it behind forever to raise children.
And by the time those kids are of age, the parents are in their 50's and it's not really feasible for them to go to college anymore. So that mans dream of being a lawyer/doctor is ruined forever because he couldn't wait 10 years to start having kids
I get it, men want younger chicks and have the option to spawn until they're dead etc... But the other thing I was wondering about is why these late 40, early 50 men often include women up to 50 in their 'looking for' bit. Is it out of politeness. Really now....if they want a kid that nearly it's best to look for younger then 40.
exactly, but the man with his career in tact he will be more financially stable and ready to care for that child.
As for ruining lives, millions of parents over the years had to put their dreams of school on hold or leave it behind forever to raise children.
And by the time those kids are of age, the parents are in their 50's and it's not really feasible for them to go to college anymore. So that mans dream of being a lawyer/doctor is ruined forever because he couldn't wait 10 years to start having kids
That doesn't happen as often as you think.
I know one doctor who had a whoops with his wife. They moved in with her parents for a few years so that he could still go to school and get his career on track with a child. Career began and they moved out. No permanent damage though I'm sure those years at MIL's weren't the most fun.
I do agree with your premise that parents should have their career(s) going prior to having a baby. It just makes it so much easier for everyone. I don't think it has to "ruin" the career but it does make life more difficult.
I do, however, disagree with your notion that most careers aren't established until 40. Most of the people I know who are going to have their crap together, have it all set by 27 or 28. Their earning potential isn't maxed out yet but they are on the path. Now, the interesting part, here, is the SAHM vs working mom debate. I do believe that if I didn't stay home with our children, my husband's career would have been sacrificed to some extent. So that is a factor. One of the parents' careers is going to suffer by having children. You're right on that point.
As for ruining lives, millions of parents over the years had to put their dreams of school on hold or leave it behind forever to raise children.
And by the time those kids are of age, the parents are in their 50's and it's not really feasible for them to go to college anymore. So that mans dream of being a lawyer/doctor is ruined forever because he couldn't wait 10 years to start having kids
Having children young is a huge sacrifice (as well as joy that the kids bring): potential opportunities lost, potential career moves never explored, maturing earlier, energy depleted earlier, FEELING older and more exhausted earlier. Of course, people who have already reared their kids "cannot fathom" starting all over again, because they have much lower reserves left than people who are just starting a family, having never had the experience and are just as enthusiastic of starting a family like any young parents.
Then there is a rush of anticipation of "golden years" which basically translates to "cannot wait until the kids are gone". (Why having kids young then to start with??? May never happen btw, with adult children kicking around, and grandchildren often dumped to babysit).
Nothing is wrong with rearranging your life and having the same "golden years" earlier, while carefree, and having fewer regrets, and NOT waiting until "the kids are gone".
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That definitely made me think many of these men say they are okay with having kids because they don't want to limit their dating pool to women their age. He said he had a really difficult time finding a good match for him in his age group.
