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It's really not your place to try to persuade the boyfriend to forgive your friend. I know there are relationships that survive cheating but I don't know how, especially if there's no marriage or children involved. She's sorry...she's remorseful...I just don't believe it. It's not a split second action like where you look away from the road and get into a car accident. She knew it was wrong and she did it anyway hoping he wouldn't find out, he would forgive her if he did, or just plain out not caring.
Keep out of it and I hope your friends bf drops your friend like hot garbage.
I know that would probably be logical but at times emotions play a role that it can make you think without logic. Right now, it doesn't seem like the guy wants to go NC on her.
I know that would probably be logical but at times emotions play a role that it can make you think without logic. Right now, it doesn't seem like the guy wants to go NC on her.
Exactly.
Sometimes when you are lost in the forest you can't see your way out for all the trees.
Remorse is an artifical response to make herself feel like a good person when shes NOT. Once a cheater always a cheater. This is not something she can gurantee to never do again. in fact, i wouldnt be suprised if she still texts,calls, im, fb,chaturbate,skype with this other person. Are people really that naive to believe she all of a sudden the next day erased this other guy out of her life? she knows his number by heart!
In fact, if he takes her back, she will be more tempted to do it again. the lines of respect are broken. there is no mending that. NONE. They both need someone different.
You can forgive but never forget. Any time they have an arguement, he'll be tempted to bring it up. How long will she be willing to put up with that??
And to those feminist enroute to defend this skank on premises that "he must have done something wong" A CHEATER IS A CHEATER PLAIN AND SIMPLE. There is no rationalizing this. This is a decission she made. Dont dare try to defend her or distract THE BOTTOM LINE she cheated. thats it
A better question would be why your friend would even want to be with a guy that would take her back after what she did. I'd have more respect for that guy if he refused to talk to her for at least a month or two and than later down the road gave her a second chance after he saw she still had remorse and wanted to still be with him vs. her just displaying the short term panic of being caught and being in fear of being alone. Right now that guy is a tool and him taking her back doesnt' mean he loves her it means he has low self-esteem. They're both better off alone since clearly neither of them loves themselves.
Well, counseling is great if she really has some underlying issues that contributed to her cheating that she needs to work out.
If she does - then encourage her to talk to someone for sure.
Her suggesting counsuling is smoke and mirrors. It's her attempt to convince him she's willing to do anything so that he'll forgive her and not leave her alone where she feels uncomfortable in this world. The problem isn't that she got caught. The problem is there is something missing form the relationship which caused her to step outside it. Now that something is more than likely her own lack of self love so she used this other guy to validate her worth. Her suggesting counsuling is th equivelent to a celb going into rehab to excuse their actions. It shifts away the responsibility from being their own to something they didn't have control over.
have remorse
take responsibility for her actions
and work to repair the damage
Make sure she understands these things.
Do not talk to her boyfriend - you do not want to get in the middle of this.
She has to be willing to do the 3 Rs...
Look HotteR
Be HotteR
and Look HotteR
Most Men will sit up and beg for a hot woman. Including accepting her cheating.
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