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I don't think that's the problem. I think that when you look for problems - you find them.
I am not looking for problems, it's just funny to me to hear women talk about how they don't want to get approached in X, Y, Z and it's just about every possible situation/location imaginable
If you want to say that you don't want to get approached by anybody who is not from your small specific social circle, then just say that. I understand that getting approached by a stranger can be very unpleasant, just make that clear
I am not looking for problems, it's just funny to me to hear women talk about how they don't want to get approached in X, Y, Z and it's just about every possible situation/location imaginable
If you want to say that you don't want to get approached by anybody who is not from your small specific social circle, then just say that. I understand that getting approached by a stranger can be very unpleasant, just make that clear
Look - you want to blame your problems on everything else but you. It's been clear from your posts. Women have it easier. Women don't ever want to be approached. You think you can't win - so everything you read is just going to affirm that to you.
It seems you have taken what people have said - and then made it into a black and white issue that makes it look like you have no chance.
Women don't want to be approached at the gym - they are there to work out. That is true for some women. That was always true for me - but I wasn't single - so I really was there just to work out. However, a little bit of effort will usually reveal to you if she is open to being approached or not. Smile at her. Make eye contact with her. If she gives you a curt smile and then looks away and ignores you - probably not a good idea. If she holds your gaze and smiles back - well, then - different story. Same with a woman at a bar or anywhere else. Women are not a single entity - we don't all think the same. Send out some signals and see what you get back.
We are also more than just what we look like. You talk an awful lot about how you want your future girlfriend to look. I understand that you need to be attracted to your future mate - but you kind of make it seem like you can just pick out the woman of your dreams based on her appearance and expect her to be "the one."
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
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Given the number of posts you have about dating, Brahma, I suspect that you have a bit of social anxiety about talking to women. You're probably a bit tense and awkward when approaching them. Maybe from cultural factors you have a tendency to put them on a pedestal.
I'd say to talk to them a lot, become a real chatterbox, and eventually you'll become so relaxed about social interaction that you will become more attractive. Most women really love to talk, even if it's about nothing important like the weather, and even if it's with someone they don't like much (sometimes, but I've seen a lot of that). You're already fairly attractive in a physical sense, and your personality will also become attractive the more natural your advances become.
Women don't want to be approached at the gym - they are there to work out. That is true for some women. That was always true for me - but I wasn't single - so I really was there just to work out. However, a little bit of effort will usually reveal to you if she is open to being approached or not. Smile at her. Make eye contact with her. If she gives you a curt smile and then looks away and ignores you - probably not a good idea. If she holds your gaze and smiles back - well, then - different story. Same with a woman at a bar or anywhere else. Women are not a single entity - we don't all think the same. Send out some signals and see what you get back.
The eye contact stuff is complete nonsense. I've talked to lots of guys who say they've had plenty of situations where they got inviting eye contact from a woman in a certain situations and were quickly rejected
It doesn't mean anything. Some women just want you to approach them so they get off the ego boost
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We are also more than just what we look like. You talk an awful lot about how you want your future girlfriend to look. I understand that you need to be attracted to your future mate - but you kind of make it seem like you can just pick out the woman of your dreams based on her appearance and expect her to be "the one."
I just had a thread where I talked about how I haven't made any moves ever on my drop dead gorgeous friend because of her age/some other issues
I care about everything equally - looks, personality and compatibility
I'd say to talk to them a lot, become a real chatterbox, and eventually you'll become so relaxed about social interaction that you will become more attractive. You're already fairly attractive in a physical sense, and your personality will also become attractive the more natural your advances become.
I'm already doing this (I have a couple female friends who I am very close with - plus all the socializing with my friend's girlfriends)
It's definitely helping me out so I'm going to keep doing that and perhaps find more female friends
Tell that to my current boyfriend.... who happens to have a pretty awesome girlfriend
That's fantastic for you. I wish you guys the best of luck
My problem with online dating is that I can't do the dancing clown routine and regular conversation comes across as very boring online because you don't have the energy and charisma that you can have in real life
The eye contact stuff is complete nonsense. I've talked to lots of guys who say they've had plenty of situations where they got inviting eye contact from a woman in a certain situations and were quickly rejected
It doesn't mean anything. Some women just want you to approach them so they get off the ego boost
You are so right. Eye contact doesn't mean anything. Obviously - if some guys that you've talked to said that they got eye contact from a woman and she rejected them - then eye contact is useless. There are absolutely no places where you can approach women and women give absolutely no signs that they want to be approached. Yup.
This is what I mean by if you look for problems - you will find them. And once again - women are not a single entity. Some women are looking for an ego boost. Others are not. The only way to find these things out is by experience.
Many of the people I know met in school. That's not on your list.
I also don't have a problem with meeting at work (I've dated coworkers and know several people who dated or married coworkers), at a bar or club, or most places, actually.
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