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I can't imagine any man today would really want to get married today and willingly be part of an institution. I suspect these men who do get trapped into marriage only sign that contract because either 1) these men were shamed by their families for not being "real men", 2) were brainwashed into thinking it's what you have to do by a certain age, 3) thought they could never get any better so they settled. Most men who are still trapped in marriages today probably deeply regret signing that piece of paper and warn their sons to never make the same mistakes.
I will get married to my current gf because I want to. Being less of a man because your not married. Please. Also don't care what age your getting married at....I could be 17 or 57. Doesn't matter. I hardly settled in my situation. If I didn't like her it wouldn't have lasted 3 years.
Again...not everyone is looking for something or feel "stuck" in a marriage. It is a two way road. If your getting screwed in your marriage leave. The front door opens and closes.
I will get married to my current gf because I want to. Being less of a man because your not married. Please. Also don't care what age your getting married at....I could be 17 or 57. Doesn't matter. I hardly settled in my situation. If I didn't like her it wouldn't have lasted 3 years.
Again...not everyone is looking for something or feel "stuck" in a marriage. It is a two way road. If your getting screwed in your marriage leave. The front door opens and closes.
I don't think a man getting married makes him any less of a man. It just think it's naive on his part. Nobody knows what will happen 10,15 or 20 years down the line. People change. To say you'll stay with someone until your last breath sounds scary.
A lot of men's lives have been destroyed after getting divorced. When you sign that paper you really are taking one hell of a risk.
Listen, I know that in this enlightened society people don't need to get married to start a family, own a home, be committed, yada yada. In the strictest sense, marriage doesn't bring to the table anything special these days. However, I fully believe in the institution. With the right person and at the right time.
Maybe I'm just slightly old fashioned. I can say this, though, I've been married 9.5 wonderful years. There is a difference and a bond that I cannot really put to words. I didn't pressure him, he didn't capitulate. Things just happened naturally. We still feel the same way about each other as when we met 11 years ago.
If one tries to "force the hand", the outcome will more than likely be disastrous. That's why ultimatums don't work, many shotgun marriages don't work, etc. If two people aren't on the same page concerning marriage, then maybe it is best to move on. I absolutely do not believe in settling either -- the world isn't going to end if you don't get married. My life wasn't this void that needed to be filled prior to marriage. Sometimes if you just "ride the wave" when it comes to relationships, you'll be surprised at the outcome.
The one where, the woman never has to overly remind him ''Where is this going'', put ultimatums nor has to break up first to then get him to change his mind and go after her with the ring.
No one should be nagged into marriage. Nagging is not good - neither are ultimatums. "Trapping" is a terrible strategy for a relationship. IMO Men and women have an ultimate need for complete "freedom of choice." Resentment follows psychological coercion. A confident, free-thinking person who loves herself and her life has no need for relationship coercion.
Why are women often so preoccupied with "the proposal?" Sounds cliche - but live your life to the fullest, loving yourself, experiencing the world and new things, treating everyone around you with love and respect and kindness. Why be so focused on the one ultimate goal of "a proposal?" Maybe you'll have it, or maybe not. You never know what the future brings. Will you let that define you?
I think there are still many men (and women) happily going into marriage if it is with the right person. I know many very loving, successful marriages (like mine) that did not involve coercion - not at all. Both people want to be there (and nowhere else) - for the long haul. But many men and women, have no intention of settling down at your age - 25. Many are just beginning their independent lives, careers, etc. and discovering themselves. To me, 25 is often too young for marriage - there is still a lot of individuall growing to do.
If you think all people marry to "get something" out of it you are an idiot. I guess if get something out of a marriage means having a family and being able to share your life with someone you love then that is a worthwhile for most. Not everyone is marrying to get a tax benefit or because they unexpectedly got their gf pregnant.
In EVERY SINGLE one of the cases I'm familiar with when my guy friends complain about their wives changing after marriage, there were a TON of reg flags and warnings that the guys chose to ignore. Even in my horrible last relationship, there were a thousand red flags that I should have noticed...some of which my friends brought up. Some of which I ignored even though they were staring me right in the face. In my guy friends relationships, we warned them, but we were ignored. One of my guy friends complains that his wife is too materialistic....this was the same woman who DEMANDED only brand name (Coach, Dooney, Gucci etc.) purses and whatnot when they were still dating, but he just ignored it. We all saw it, but he was 'in love' with a pretty face.
I have seen this scenario time and again. Guy dates or marries woman who is very pretty and materialistic and he spends tons of money on her. They get married (or just date a long time), she continues to expect presents, he finally realizes this relationship is all about what she gets so he dumps her. He then goes into other relationships with this idea that women only want money or presents so he decides his next relationship he will be cheap. The new girlfriend or wife becomes angry not because he doesn't spend money on her but because he treats her far worse than he did his previous relationship. However many of these women are less attractive and many put up with this because they feel they can't get better. Many of these women are the same ones guys reject the first time while chasing the hotter women. So now we have two bitter people, the man and the new gf/wife.
...this was the same woman who DEMANDED only brand name (Coach, Dooney, Gucci etc.) purses and whatnot when they were still dating,
?? How do you demand expensive handbags (or gifts of any kind) from a guy you're dating? These days, you have to be pretty lucky to find a guy who could even afford that. Who are these people?
?? How do you demand expensive handbags (or gifts of any kind) from a guy you're dating? These days, you have to be pretty lucky to find a guy who could even afford that. Who are these people?
Basically I've seen two types, men with money and desperate guys. One of my exboyfriends was so desperate to get married that he met a woman online, and moved to another state to marry her (without having met her). He ended up spending all his money on buying her gifts and she wanted more. Eventually he ran out of money and she lost interest (and broke the engagement). He moved back home and was bitter that all women are like this and that he plans to never marry because of it. He's still single.
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