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Old 02-19-2013, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,868,361 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Good list Raena. I will add, always - ALWAYS - let a close friend/family member know when you are meeting someone for the first couple of times...where you are going, and the person's name and phone number. I always did this.
Thanks Chessie. I did it too.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:27 PM
 
350 posts, read 383,787 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Ah. So you are probably one of those that wants to meet a gal the same night you come across her profile online. Yeah...that's not gonna work.
You should be meeting or talking on the telephone within at least a week or two. Otherwise you're investing too much time into it. You don't have to marry someone just because you meet for a beer.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:32 PM
 
14,725 posts, read 33,375,627 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Well you certainly don't go home with them on the second or third meeting. I certainly would not.
At the suburban B&N cafe first date, happening right next to me, they were going home on the FIRST meeting. I didn't hear that, but it looked like that would be negotiated in the parking lot. How is it any different than a pick-up that occurs at a bar? Here, they just happened to meet on line. It could have happened at a happy hour and the chemistry would have been the same. Lots of people in America go home together from one-night stands, and they come through unscathed. However, your POV is also right. No one wants to be a statistic.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:33 PM
 
37,619 posts, read 46,006,789 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beacon of Truth View Post
You should be meeting or talking on the telephone within at least a week or two. Otherwise you're investing too much time into it. You don't have to marry someone just because you meet for a beer.
Nope. I often spend a couple of weeks emailing a guy before I would even know if I wanted to take it further. I have to be pretty comfortable with how a person responds (both time, and content) before I am going to waste any time on the phone with him. ANd I certainly am not going to meet him without a few phone conversations. You may want shorten things up...but it's always to a woman's advantage to play it slow and safe.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,868,361 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beacon of Truth View Post
I think you're elongating the process out too much. I don't think my attention span is long enough to do it the way you'd just laid it out.
Sorry I told how I did it.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:36 PM
 
3,703 posts, read 3,779,436 times
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Even as a man I have turned down first dates at a woman's house. I am sure she had good intentions, and just wanted to cook me dinner, but seeing as it was our first meeting and we didn't really know each other I was just more comfortable meeting in a public setting. Especially since I live in a major city where men are often baited by women only to be robbed or worse.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:37 PM
 
37,619 posts, read 46,006,789 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
At the suburban B&N cafe first date, happening right next to me, they were going home on the FIRST meeting. I didn't hear that, but it looked like that would be negotiated in the parking lot. How is it any different than a pick-up that occurs at a bar? Here, they just happened to meet on line. It could have happened at a happy hour and the chemistry would have been the same. Lots of people in America go home together from one-night stands, and they come through unscathed. However, your POV is also right. No one wants to be a statistic.
Well it isn't. Those can end just as tragically, as we all know. That's exactly my point. A woman that doesn't use better judgment with strangers (and a guy in a bar IS a stranger) is just asking to be the next day's headline.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:41 PM
 
14,725 posts, read 33,375,627 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Well it isn't. Those can end just as tragically, as we all know. That's exactly my point. A woman that doesn't use better judgment with strangers (and a guy in a bar IS a stranger) is just asking to be the next day's headline.
Well, there is some truth to that. Most people who do the one-night stand outside of a college situation, or even a work situation (not recommended), have a built-in issue for some risk. We can all get statistics on how likely it is to be bitten by a shark or struck by lightning, so it would be informative to see statistics on how often a woman (or a man, though unlikely) is going to go home with someone and be physically assaulted.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:41 PM
 
350 posts, read 383,787 times
Reputation: 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Nope. I often spend a couple of weeks emailing a guy before I would even know if I wanted to take it further. I have to be pretty comfortable with how a person responds (both time, and content) before I am going to waste any time on the phone with him. ANd I certainly am not going to meet him without a few phone conversations. You may want shorten things up...but it's always to a woman's advantage to play it slow and safe.
No can do. I am more extrovert than introvert. Reading bores me; I need interaction. I can learn more about people by interacting with them and pushing buttons over the course of a few outings than I can trading 10 years worth of e-mails .
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:58 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,363 posts, read 20,801,723 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beacon of Truth View Post
(I was having doubts about her anyway due to her lesbian sister* and her views on abortion) ...

Overall, it doesn't seem that internet dating attracts the best class of people.

* I don't have a problem with gays and lesbians doing whatever they do, I just don't want to know about it and I don't want it around me.
This is why I always mention my gay dd right upfront--to screen out guys like you. If he can't handle my gay dd then I don't want him in my life. If that makes me low class then I'm happy to be the scum of the earth, since she is one of the two lights of my life. Make that 3--I love Jesus too, but I have a different way of worshipping Him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FLgirl727 View Post
Either way, I don't think online dating is any more dangerous than meeting otherwise. Being cautious in any scenario is the right way to go.
This is exactly right. The weirdest thing that ever happened to me on an OL date was a man with an arm fetish that wanted me to get in a car with him so he could lick my arm but you can guess what my answer was to that. Good thing I wasn't attracted to him anyway. . . He took no for an answer.

Met a man at my health club once and got into a convo with him; it wasn't even a date but he turned out to be a stalker and he would not take no for an answer. That was 2 weeks after my ex dropped the bomb so you can imagine the stress.

I met the man I'm dating now OL and he is a little weird, but in a very nice way. On each of our first 3 dates we spent the entire day together in a public place so we could get to know each other.
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