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When I first came into America, I was low on money and was forced to save every single dollar that I had, since I borrowed it from other people to even get there. So when I rented apartment, unfortunately I went for "cheaper" one, difference was only 100$... by all heaven's sake, any immigrant reading this should know to NEVER do that... but the experience I had over there gave me other picture of USA (of some problematic folks) and it ingrained into my mind very well.
One of those cases were my first neighbors who literally lived together with their boyfriend and girlfriend and a small boy, together in the same apartment! You can only imagine how much violence and troubles it had... once police came TWO TIMES to intervene, same day. Since I had signed a contract for a full year renting, I stayed there for that first year (a bit shorter)... I'm not sure how many times did police come but I know that it's like twenty times! Constant yelling, fights, etc... sometimes I'd call my friends just to get out of there NOT to listen to it, that building was as if it was made of cardboard and I was sometimes so stressed to shiver as if they're fighting in my living room, just that I can't see them. Sometimes they wouldn't even call the police, so someone would get bored listening to that and call. They were filled with bruises, but biggest drama occurred when one pair left the house for a few days and returned in the evening and they didn't want to open. By the way, they weren't even married.
I really think that sometimes it was just better to have a police officer right next corner or sitting in their living room, since they kept coming almost each week anyways.
EDIT: One of the awkward things is when you talk with relatives over skype and they start with the fighting... then your family asks you what's going on... because you got "used to it" but are somehow still awkward.
You know what's the worst part? The system has no way of stopping the idiots from coming back and doing it again - because some guys just don't care about punishments. You send them to jail for the night - they come back. You send them for a year in jail, they come back. It's because some guys feel in jail like they feel when they're at home. They won't say their life is ruined if they end up in jail, they won't be eaten alive out of guilt or anxiety because they ended up in there, they've been there before many times, for other things. They are just impossible to "repair" at the later ages and system just goes with the same drill that they have.
Only electric shocker around someone's head as an efficient system to stop them from entering a certain radius might work.
I was stunned that Shane attacked Maggie in front of a witness, after failing to force her into the basement, and that he allowed the incident to be photographed. I was even more stunned that the photographer did not try to intervene in the assault or when Memphis entered the room. That would go against every instinct I have. I read the article so I know the police were on their way and intervention would probably have escalated the violence, but I wonder for how long the photographer was willing to just watch. They were in a kitchen--Shane could have stabbed her, or hit her head hard against something.
Last edited by JustJulia; 03-01-2013 at 05:53 AM..
Reason: inarticulate ... coffee time
I've also read the comments saying "photographer should have intervened". I'd really like to see those folks in there. I know that many folks say one thing but they don't say the same when it happens in front of them, they think of themselves first. If they, for one second, even think that they'd might get involved or that the idiot might come after them because they'd be called for witnessing and the offender knows them well or lives nearby, many will back down and hide in their hole from which they make those comments.
Unless you see some things with your own eyes, you'd never respect police for it, otherwise you'll really buy into the "stupid/corrupt police doing nothing" claim. I sometimes wondered how come they don't get loose and shoot those guys when they literally enter families with known felons and they know there's even a huge risk of trouble for themselves as well, that's truly stressful stuff.
Merely hearing the yelling and hearing something breaking in the other room makes you frozen - you try to determine where that noise comes from, then you listen and feel stress/chills through your body and then you get stuck within yourself, thinking if you'd call or not... and then you find out that police is coming and stopping it. And what if they DON'T come on time the next time?! What if those few minutes were of high importance and you keep avoiding to make a call? I must admit, I didn't call them even once because I felt that I'd get in trouble and it is a specific psychological effect - you see it happening once, you're shocked. You see it happening again and again and the next time you aren't shocked at all, you just try to ignore them. That's the main problem, some guys keep doing it again and again until everyone, including victim and society, gets used to those guys doing same offenses again and again.
I must admit, I didn't call them even once because I felt that I'd get in trouble and it is a specific psychological effect - you see it happening once, you're shocked. You see it happening again and again and the next time you aren't shocked at all, you just try to ignore them. That's the main problem, some guys keep doing it again and again until everyone, including victim and society, gets used to those guys doing same offenses again and again.
I know what your saying and to a large extent I agree. A large part is how you react the first time, what you do. It's akin to fight or flight, do you intervene or ignore/hope it stops. The first time I saw a man slap a woman I intervened, I couldn't help it, same with a child, I didn't even know I was doing it until it was done, I moved and I stopped it. The twentieth time was the same and every other time i've ever seen it. To a large extent reactions can either be nurtured or suppressed but some are instinctive and controlling them is hard.
The good thing is she left. The kids are young, & thank God she didn't allow the abusive POS to physically hurt the son (who he felt the competition with)
Many of these cases don't have such happy endings; its on the news all the time, where the psycho boyfriends/ husbands actually kill the women &/or kids.
The article is a quick reminder of how desperate some people are to be in a relationship....lowering standards, accepting abuse, etc.
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